Transcript Effective Communication

Chapter 8
Communication in Relationships
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Nature of Interpersonal Communication.
Principles of Effective Communication.
Disclosure/Honesty/Privacy/Lying
Gender differences in Communication
Sociological Theories
Conflicts in Relationships
Effective Communication
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Make communication a priority.
Establish/maintain eye contact.
Ask open-ended rather than closed-ended
questions.
Use reflective listening: paraphrase what your
partner says back to him/her.
Effective Communication
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Use “I” statements.
Avoid brutal criticism: “You are fat.”
Make positive comments and compliment your
partner.
Be specific about what you want.
Effective Communication
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Stay focused and avoid branching.
Make specific resolutions to disagreements.
Send nonverbal message to match verbal
message.
Keep process of communication going.
Fight fair.
Gender Differences in
Communication
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Men talk about activities, share information,
and want to “solve” problems.
Women talk about relationships, enjoy
interacting, and seek empathy, not solutions.
Men keep feelings inside; women disclose.
Sources of Conflict
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Behavior: partner does things you don’t like (is
late or lies).
Cognitions/perceptions: conflict exists only if
individual perceives situation as problem.
Value differences: religion, children, day care
for children, money, etc.
Sources of Conflict
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Rule differences: amount of time to spend
together, how late is late, division of labor.
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Leadership: spouses develop territory in which
they make decisions.
Styles of Conflict
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Competing - Partners are assertive but
uncooperative.
Collaborating - Partners are both assertive
and cooperative. Each has a definite
suggestion but cooperates to find a win-win
solution.
Styles of Conflict
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Avoiding - Partners avoid a confrontation, and
don’t communicate about the issue.
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Accommodating - Cooperation takes priority
over assertiveness so that immediate goal is to
reduce conflict and find a solution.
Steps in Conflict Resolution
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Address recurring issue.
Identify new desired behaviors.
Summarize partner’s perspective.
Generate win-win solutions.
Defense mechanisms
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Escapism - sleep or drugs.
Rationalization - justify own behavior.
Projection - attribute one’s feelings to another.
Displacement - shift feelings from the person
who evokes them onto someone else.