Transcript The Psychology of Love -

Day #2 of 8
Different Colors of Love
Friday
April 8, 2016
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DAY #2 OF 8
APRIL 8, 2016
DIFFERENT COLORS OF LOVE
 Three theoretical approaches
to the study of love:
John Lee’s Styles of Love,
Robert Sternberg’s Paths of Love,
Gary Chapman’s Languages of Love
 Research on Relationship Satisfaction
for Lee’s different Styles of Love
(Susan Hendrick & Clyde Hendrick)
 Successful Communication
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THE
LOVE ATTITUDE
SCALE
An inventory called the
Love Attitude Scale
was developed to measure
John Lee's styles of loving
(Hendrick & Hendrick,
1986).
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JOHN LEE’S
“6 STYLES OF LOVE”
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
Eros
Ludus
Storge
Pragma
Mania
Agape
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Eros is the love of beauty.
EROS
Erotic lovers delight in the tactile, the
sensual, and the immediate. Although
beauty may reside only in the eyes of
the beholder, they are definitely
attracted to beauty. They love the lines
of the body, its feel, touch, scent, and
shape. Fascinated by every detail of
their beloved -- their love burns
brightly but may soon flicker.
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Ludus, from the Latin word for play,
is playful love.
LUDUS
For ludic lovers, love is a game,
something to play at rather than to
become deeply involved in.
Love is ultimately "ludicrous."
Love is for fun! Encounters are
casual, carefree, and often careless.
"Nothing serious" is the motto of
ludic lovers.
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Storge (stor-gay),
from the Greek
for natural affection,
is the love between companions.
Lee calls this, "love without fever or
folly, a peaceful and enchanting
affection." It usually begins as
friendship and then gradually deepens
into love. If the love ends, that also
occurs gradually, and the people often
become friends once again.
STORGE
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Pragma,
from the Greek
for business,
is practical love.
PRAGMA
Pragmatic lovers are businesslike in their approach.
They look for someone who meets their needs.
They use logic in their continual search for
the best partner.
They seek the background, education, occupation,
personality, and other interests compatible with
their own.
A person who satisfies their criteria arouses erotic,
manic and other feelings.
…until someone ‘better’
comes along.
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Mania
from the Greek
for madness,
is obsessive and possessive love.
MANIA
For manic lovers, nights are marked by
sleeplessness and days by pain and
anxiety. The slightest sign of affection
brings ecstasy for a short while, only to
disappear. Satisfactions last for but a
moment before they must be renewed.
Manic love is a roller-coaster love.
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Agape (AH-ga-pay)
is from the Greek for
brotherly love.
AGAPE
It is chaste, patient, undemanding, and
altruistic; there is neither jealousy nor
expectation of reciprocation.
It is the love of saints and martyrs.
Agape is more abstract and ideal than
concrete and real. Agape may be
extended more easily to all of
humankind than to any specific human.
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Research
One study used the Love Attitude Scale
to investigate 4 different stages of life
and the relationship between
styles of loving
&
relationship satisfaction
(The Agape style wasn’t included in this study.)
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The study sample included
250 adults in 4 groups:
1. College-age single youth,
2. Young childless married adults,
3. Married adults with children
living at home, and
4. Married adults whose grown-up
children had left home.
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Results for:
Eros
This beauty-loving, sensual style
was positively associated with
relationship satisfaction
for all life stages.
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Results for:
Ludus
Predictably, this game-playing style was
negatively associated with
relationship satisfaction
for all three groups of
married adults.
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Results for:
Storge
- the love of true friends –
was significantly related to
relationship satisfaction
only for the
married couples
with children at home.
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Results for:
Mania & Pragma
These two styles
mad-obsessed & business-like
were not related to
relationship satisfaction
for any life-stage group
(Montgomery & Sorell, 1997).
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During our break,
please introduce yourself to
someone you do not know
in our class.
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Sternberg’s
Triangle Theory
of
Love
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The 3 Corners of the Triangle
 Intimacy
 Passion
 Commitment
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STERNBERG’S
TRIANGLE THEORY OF LOVE
(commitment alone) 20
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COMMUNICATION
Success in love
requires
successful communication.
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Five Ways To Say,
“I LOVE YOU.”
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DR. GARY CHAPMAN'S
5 LOVE LANGUAGES.
 Gifts
 Quality Time
 Acts of Service
 Meaningful Touch
 Words of Encouragement
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Brielle
Kyrie
“Contributions of
Neuroscience to Our
Understanding of
Cognitive
Development”
A link to this article is
available on our
Day #2
Information Page.
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Gifts
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Meaningful Touch
Words of Encouragement
Verbal/Linguistic Intelligence
Logical/Mathematical Intelligence
Visual/Spatial Intelligence
Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence
Musical Intelligence
Interpersonal Intelligence
Intrapersonal Intelligence
Naturalist Intelligence
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Communication
of love
within a marriage.
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COMMUNICATION
Success in love
requires
successful communication.
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CONSTRUCTIVE
COMMUNICATION
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DESTRUCTIVE
COMMUNICATION
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May we become
more mindful
communicators
of love.
The End.
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