Transcript WHAP-Essay-Compare How Tox

WHAP
Comparative Essay
DIRECTIONS
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Part C
(Suggested planning and writing time – 35 minutes)
Percent of Section score – 33 1/3
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Directions: You are to answer the following
question.
You should spend 5 minutes organizing or outlining
your essay.
Write an essay that:
Has a relevant thesis and supports that thesis with
appropriate historical evidence.
Addresses all parts of the question.
Makes direct relevant comparisons.
Analyzes relevant reasons for similarities and
differences.
These directions are the
same for
EVERY comparative
essay.
CORE RUBRIC
The five (5) scoring areas only
• TH – Thesis
• ATQ – Addresses all parts of The Question
• EV – Evidence (9 for 2 points, 6 for 1 point)
• DC – Direct Comparison
• A – Analysis of a Direct Comparison
PROMPT or “QUESTION”
Compare the goals and outcomes of
the revolutionary process in TWO of
the following countries, beginning with
the dates specified.
• You need to do this verb: compare
‒ Similarities AND differences
 2 SIMS + 1 DIFF
 1 SIM + 2 DIFFs
• You need to compare TWO nouns
‒ Goals
Mexico
1910
China
1911
Russia
1917
‒ Outcomes
• You need to verb this noun
‒ Revolutionary process--not just the
revolutions but the process of
revolutions
BRAINSTORM
Mexico
Goals  Overthrow the elite
 End foreign economic control
 nationalism
Outcomes  Redistributed land to peasants
 Oil was nationalized
 Continued influence from others (U.S.)
Revolutionary  Peasants…something…Diaz
Process  Pancho Villa leads to US coming to Mexico
Other Facts  U.S. interferes a lot
 NAFTA now?
Questions to help figure out
which parts of the chart
you should hone in on:
China
Russia
 Overthrow monarch
 Republican form of government
 Nationalism
 Overthrown monarch
 Set up communist government or republic (depending
on the group)
 Continued pressure from outside forces and ideas (Japan, West,
Marxism) keeps area in unrest
 Civil War in 1949 leads to Communist state
 Bolsheviks seize power after civil war with whites
 Totalitarian government
 Communism
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 Overthrow of monarch
 Republic (provisional government)
 Civil war leads to rise of communism/totalitarian
dictatorship
 Tries to spread revolution (3rd international)
Overthrow of monarch
1st wants western-style democracy—Sun Yat-Sen
Republic declared
Long March
Civil War between Mao Zedong and Chiang kai-shek
Ends in communist-totalitarian state
 Cultural revolution—anti-west
 Tiananmen Square
 Censorship to control western contact
• Which two do I have the most evidence for?
• What are the SIMs and DIFFs?
• What are REASONS for SIMs and DIFFs?
THESIS (TH)
MUST
• State the regions
• State the time period
• State the topic(s)
• Include 3 comparisons
• 2 SIMs + 1 DIFF
If you state it in your
thesis, you must
address it in the
essay.
• 1 SIM + 2 DIFFs
• Use comparative cues
• Place at beginning or end
ONE FORMULA
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While/Although/Despite…
A + B were similar, A was
THIS, but B was THAT.
Only say in your
essay what you can
tie back to your
thesis.
THESIS (TH)
MUST
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Be specific and clear.
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Get straight to the point
with definitive diction
Argue
MUST NNNNOTS
VAGUE TIME: back in the day, long ago
VAGUE NOUNS: things, stuff, aspects,
ways, the people, they/them/their
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Someone should be able
to argue an alternate
position
VAGUE QUALIFIERS: lots, a lot, many,
really, huge, very, like omg totally
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Think opening statement
a lawyer makes to
defend his case
ABSOLUTES: never, always, only
NO EMPTY LANGUAGE: I think, I’m
going to tell you, In this essay I will…
THESIS (TH)
MUST
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May need to be
changed. If so, make
the change!
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When you finish your
essay, reread with your
thesis in mind
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If your thesis needs to
be tweaked, make any
changes necessary
Some people “write
their way” to their
thesis—writing it last
instead of first. Nae
problem. Do what
works for you.
MUST NNNNOTS
No extra anything in the intro—no
hook, no backstory—just drop the
THESIS and go.
No POV 1: we can see that, when we
study, our understanding of…
No POV 2: don’t use “you” at all. At all.
No rhetorical questions. Do not answer
a question as your thesis.
No listicles: do not turn your thesis into
a list. And while we’re on it, don’t turn
your essay into a listicle either.
THESIS EXAMPLE: REGIONS
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia East Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers,
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
‒ Mediterranean (Rome)
‒ East Asia (Han)
the Roman Empire did not utilize a political philosophy
to structure and rule their empire while the Han
Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism.
‒ Analyzing only one
civilization within a
region is perfectly
acceptable.
THESIS EXAMPLE: TIME PERIOD
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers,
the Roman Empire did not utilize a political philosophy
to structure and rule their empire while the Han
Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism.
East Asia
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
• Time period
‒ Prompt implies time
period by specifying the
empire formation period
and the classical period
‒ Most CB prompts,
however, will specify a
time period explicitly
THESIS EXAMPLE: TOPIC
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their
frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political
East Asia
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
• Time period
• Topic specified
‒ Empire-building
philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the
Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and
Confucianism.
‒ Centralizing power and
expanding are two ways
an empire gets built
THESIS EXAMPLE: SIMs & DIFFs
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their
frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political
East Asia
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
• Time period
• Topic specified
• SIMs (1) and DIMs
philosophy to structure and rule their empire while the
‒ Both centralized power
Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and
‒ Both expanded
militarily
Confucianism.
THESIS EXAMPLE: SIMs & DIFFs
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers,
the Roman Empire did not utilize a political
East Asia
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
• Time period
• Topic specified
• SIMs and DIFFs (2)
philosophy to structure and rule their empire while
the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and
Confucianism.
‒ used or didn’t use
philosophy as an
empire-forming political
tool
THESIS EXAMPLE: COMPARATIVES
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their frontiers,
the Roman Empire did not utilize a political philosophy
East Asia
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
• Time period
• Topic specified
• SIMs and DIFFs (3 total)
to structure and rule their empire while the Han
Emperors used a blend of Legalism and Confucianism.
• Comparative cues
‒ and, both
‒ while
THESIS EXAMPLE: ALL TOGETHER
Compare the formation of empires in any two classical civilizations:
the Mediterranean South Asia
While both the classical Roman and Han empires
centralized power and militarily expanded their
frontiers, the Roman Empire did not utilize a political
East Asia
Thesis Musts
• Regions specified
• Time period
• Topic specified
• SIMs and DIFFs (3 total)
philosophy to structure and rule their empire while
the Han Emperors used a blend of Legalism and
Confucianism.
• Comparative cues
ADRESSES THE QUESTION (ATQ)
MUST
• Address both SIMs and
DIFFs—at least 3 total
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2 SIMs and 1 DIFF
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1 SIM and 2 DIFFs
• Crafting your essay
around three (3) DCs
ensures ATQ points are
automatically addressed
MUST NNNNOTS
• Address only SIMs and no DIFFs
• Address only DIFFs and no SIMs
EVIDENCE (EV)
MUST
• Be real: dates, events, people, laws, monumental architecture,
quotes—anything concrete fact that helps to prove the DC, and
therefore your THESIS.
• Be RELEVANT and ACCURATE
• Follow the “Rule of 3”
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3 bits of evidence supporting each DC
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3x3=9
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Give 9 specific evidence for full points
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Give 6 specific evidence for partial points
DIRECT COMPARISON (DC)
MUST
• Attempt AT LEAST 2 relevant, specific, direct comparisons.
• Must have connecting phrase to show comparison
• Comparative cue words
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also, as well, both, shared, in addition, like, similarly, too
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however, on the other hand, conversely, differently, in
contrast, either, neither, in opposition to, unlikely, in
contrast to, unlike, while…
DO NOT
• Settle for comparisons that are indirect, implied, “anti-facts”
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i.e., This happened here. This happened there.
DIRECT COMPARISON (DC)
MUST
• See the DC chart you already
got in class   
ANALYSIS (DC-A)
MUST
• Explain the reason for a SIM/DIFF… why w-h-y WHY!?!
• Explain cause AND effect.
• Ideally, explain why and then explain why the why.
• Comparative cue words
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because, led to, caused by, affected, impacted, came
from, was due to, in order to