Transcript The Angry Caller - NW-AIRS

“The Angry Caller”
“The Angry Caller”
Presentation:
 Loud, fast, harsh voice
 Swearing
 Exaggeration
 Threats of physical harm or
legal action
 Gives deadlines for results
 Intimidating
approach/manner
 Posturing, Pushing, etc.
“The Angry Caller”
Coping Strategies:
Denial
Blaming
Projection
Displacement
Distortion
Regression
“The Angry Caller”
Possible Goals: (Conscious or
Unconscious)
 Get results faster by using intimidation
 Discharge energy/anxiety
 Righteously punish others
 Promote being taken seriously
 Prevent despair – “Go out fighting”
 Legitimize angry feelings –
 Raise self esteem - “See, I’m right”
“The Angry Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
 Interactions are not
successful
 Behavior promotes
aggressiveness in others
 Important information is
not gathered
 Needs go unmet
 Problem remains
unresolved
“The Angry Caller”
I&A reactions
Positive
Negative
Caller has needs
Caller is angry at
“me”
Can I help the caller
interact in a
manner that allows
Caller is choosing
not to control their
anger and
emotions.
for problem solving
“Most” callers don’t
enjoy being angry
This caller enjoys
being angry
“The Angry Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
“Most” callers
don’t sustain
intense anger for
long periods of
time
Negative
I need to protect
myself from the
caller’s anger
Caller has a
Caller enjoys
problem that may intimidating others
go un-addressed
Caller’s anger will
hurt me
“The Angry Caller”
How to Work With an Angry Caller
 Use a calm, steady tone of
voice that shows interest in
the caller
 Don’t become defensive
 Ask questions that clarify
the caller’s problem/need
(i.e., “What would need to
happen for you to feel you
are being helped?”)
“The Angry Caller”
How to Work With an Angry Caller
 As necessary, acknowledge the
presence of anger but focus on
the content of what the caller is
saying and not just the
presentation
 Acknowledge that fear,
frustration, loneliness, worry,
etc., can produce emotions such
as anger
 Try to establish “points of
agreement”
“The Angry Caller”
How to Work With an Angry Caller
 Use “fogging” – (calm
repetition)
 Clarify what you will
need from the caller
 Maintain “reasonable”
limits and boundaries
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
(We all manipulate and when we do it
well we call it “People Skills”)
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Presentation:
 Varies but can be more
composed than expected
 Uses “Yes But” approach
 Solutions are always
unworkable
 Communicates via circular
conversations
 Quick thinker and has an
answer for everything
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Presentation:
 Conveys that no one can
comprehend the problem
 Name drops and/or says,
“The person I spoke to
before knew what to do”,
etc.
 Condescending or
placating
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Coping strategies:
• Denial
• Distortion
• Rationalization
• Intellectualization
“The
Manipulative




Caller”
Possible Goals:(Conscious or
Unconscious)
Control of the conversation
Using their most comfortable
approach (Manipulation) to
get their needs met
Gaining approval but only
on their terms
De-skill a “professional”
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Possible Goals:(Conscious or
Unconscious)
 “Brownie Points”
 Vie for power with
authority figures
 Confirmation of
“Specialness”
 Disguise the real goal by
relating a different
presenting problem
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Possible Goals:(Conscious
or
Unconscious)
 Test everyone to see
if they “Care
enough/Will remain
interested”
 See if they can out
smart the “Experts”
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
I&A staff:
 Can feel defensive,
trapped, helpless;
become sarcastic,
irritated, etc.
 “Give up” or “give in”
 Become “oppositional”
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
I&A staff:
 Can minimize or fail to
recognize the caller’s
needs
 Tend to avoid
contact/interaction
“The
Manipulative
Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Caller fears
change or losing
control
Caller believes
no one will help
unless they are
forced or
manipulated
into helping
Negative
Caller singled
me out
Caller set this
up to be a
“win/lose” game
and I’m not
going to lose
“The
Manipulative
Positive
Caller believes their
manipulation has
worked in the past,
and fears making a
change
Caller may be
trying to defend
them self from
unpleasant feelings
Caller”
Negative
Caller doesn’t
want to change
so why should I
waste my time
Caller planned
this
manipulation
with malice and
forethought
“The Manipulative Caller”
Positive
Negative
Caller’s current
Caller isn’t in crisis,
coping skills may
they are just
be the result of
manipulative
childhood
experiences or
poor role models
Caller’s strengths
Caller doesn’t
include
deserve help
intelligence and
because they can’t
quick-thinking
stop manipulating
others
How to Work With a
Manipulative Caller
Emphasize feelings, not
content
Don’t be de-skilled by
succumbing to countertransference
Treat them no differently
than anyone else, (i.e., be
a good listener, be
gracious/interested)
How to Work With a
Manipulative Caller
 Complete a thorough
assessment, don’t assume
the problem is small
because of the
presentation
 Don’t overlook the
possibility of a crisis,
suicidality, violence, etc.
How to Work With a
Manipulative Caller
 Don’t respond to the
caller’s “Yes but” by
becoming “oppositional”.
Use the caller’s ideas if
they are good.
 Emphasize the positive
aspects of the caller’s
behavior
How to Work With a
Manipulative Caller
 Exaggerate “Specialness”
(i.e., “This is a really
tough problem”, “We’ll
need to give this a lot of
thought”)
 Clarify the caller’s
objections (i.e., “What is it
about this solution that
makes it unworkable for
you?”)
How to Work With a
Manipulative Caller
 Clarify why certain
solutions appeal to the
caller (i.e., What is it about
this solution that makes it
feel right for you?”)
 Legitimize partial solutions
(help the caller let go of
thinking in terms of “100%” )
How to Work With a
Manipulative Caller
 Anticipate objections
(i.e., have suggestions
or questions ready
that will help move
you toward greater
understanding or
engagement).
“The
Hysterical
Caller”
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Presentation:
 Exaggerated or intense
emotions (i.e., tears, anger,
anxiety, panic)
 Disturbed breathing (i.e.,
rapid, breathless, etc.)
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Presentation:
 Exaggerated voice
tone (i.e., loud,
pressured, erratic,
etc.)
 Vague, distorted,
exaggerated
description of current
problem/events
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Presentation:
 Unable to tolerate
waiting for an answer,
wanting immediate
assistance
 Inflexible
 Doesn’t want to provide
answers, wants
immediate assistance
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Coping Strategies:
 Regression
 Distortion
 Somatization
 Displacement
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Possible Goals: (Conscious or
Unconscious)
 Seeking to raise self-esteem
through gaining attention
 Seeking someone else to
manage/take responsibility
for the situation
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Possible Goals: (Conscious or
Unconscious)
 Trying to discharge
anxiety/fear
 Trying to de-skill others
 Trying to control others
 Trying to get others to see the
situation as important and/or
imminent
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
 Others avoid interactions
 I&A staff find ways to
transfer them to someone
else as soon as possible
 I&A staff can become
angry/frustrated
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
 I&A can develop
strong countertransference
 I&A staff can stop
listening and begin
reacting
“The
Hysterical Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
 A complete assessment
isn’t completed before a
plan of action is
developed
 Advise and/or solutions
are related that are not
viable and/or relevant
to the problem
Hysterical Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
 Negative or
unproductive
interactions may occur
 I&A staff may feel they
need to control the
situation and assume
full responsibility the
outcome
“The
“The
Hysterical Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Negative
Caller is seeking help Caller could control
during a crisis
their fear/anxiety if
they wanted to
Caller believes that Caller is getting
anxiety/fear will
their needs met by
harm them or cause abusing others
them to “lose their
minds”
“The
Hysterical Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Negative
Caller believes
they can’t
control their
emotions without
help
“Most” callers
dislike being
hysterical
Caller doesn’t
want help with
the problem, they
just want
attention
Caller is acting
like a baby
“The
Hysterical Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Caller may have learned
in childhood that the only
way they can get
someone’s attention is if
they are hysterical
Negative
Caller calls before they
know what they want,
therefore, I can’t help
them
Caller may be
experiencing hysteria
which is a fear reaction
and experiencing an
irrational fear is painful
Caller is making a
mountain out of a
molehill
“The
Hysterical Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Negative
Caller can Caller just
learn how needs to
to control grow up
fears and
anxieties
How to Work With A
Hysterical Caller
 Use active listening because
information may be given in a
disjointed, rapid manner
 Reframe the caller’s request
and/or information
 Note which approach,
strategies seem effective
How to Work With A
Hysterical Caller
 Guide the caller toward
problem solving and away from
emotionally reacting
 Practice crisis intervention
strategies to help the caller gain
calmness and stop reacting
emotionally
 Be gentle but firm and direct
the caller to take deep breaths
and slow their speech
How to Work With A
Hysterical Caller
 Reassure them that you have
time to help them and you will
help them calm down
 Don’t get into a power struggle
by immediately challenging
their interpretation of the
situation. Instead, ask questions
or make suggestions that help
them gain a different view
How to Work With A
Hysterical Caller
 Start by helping the caller
regain composure not by
forcing them to problem
solve
 Complete a thorough
assessment of what is
happening and “why now”
before determining what
interventions are required
“The Depressed
Caller”
“The Depressed Caller”
Presentation:
 Slow, sometimes weak or
“whisper” voice tone
 Sad, tearful or crying
 Low energy/fatigue
 Lack of concentration
 Feelings of worthlessness/guilt
 Indecisive/ambivalent
“The Depressed Caller”
Presentation:
 Sighing
 Hopeless/hapless
 Apathetic
 Periods of silence
 Lack of interest in
others/events/etc.
“The Depressed Caller”
Coping Strategies:
 Denial
 Distortion
 Avoidance
 Isolation
 Emotional Insulation
 Regression
“The Depressed Caller”
Possible Goals: (Conscious or
Unconscious)
 Fear of losing their mind
 Discover options
 Gain support
 Gain help in wanting to stay
alive
 Gain sympathy
 Say “Goodbye”
“The Depressed Caller”
Possible Goals: (Conscious or
Unconscious)
Talk about losses/grief
Regain self esteem
Be forgiven for something
Find ways to cope with the
emotional pain
 Obtain medication
 Remain anonymous




“The Depressed Caller”
Consequences of Actions:
 “Crisis response”
 Resources are discovered
 Support is provided
 They receive sympathy
rather than empathy
 Sharing personal
information, names,
addresses, etc.
“The Depressed Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Caller has fears
Caller may have
suffered losses
Caller may need
help to get some
rest at night
Negative
Caller needs to
realize they are
in big trouble
Caller needs to
stop living in the
past
Caller is just
seeking drugs
“The Depressed Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Caller needs a
“listening ear”
Negative
Caller needs to
listen to what I say
Caller may have
limited energy to
put toward problem
solving
Caller may want to
discuss their needs
Caller needs to
develop a plan of
action
Caller needs to buck
up and stop
whining
“The Depressed Caller”
I&A Reactions
Positive
Negative
Most callers have
strengths they can
use to cope when
they feel well
enough
Caller needs to get
off the phone and
start doing for
others
Caller needs
assistance in
gaining access to
resources
Caller needs to
make their own
calls to resources
because it is
therapeutic
How to Work with a
Depressed Caller
 Be patient, the caller may need
to develop trust in you before
they tell you things about
themselves
 Listen for clues regarding how
at risk the caller may be
 Be empathetic, the caller may
not have anyone else they can
connect with
How to Work with a
Depressed Caller
 Determine whether the caller
has suffered losses and what
their relationship is to the losses
 Determine whether the caller
can act on information you
provide or will need assistance
in linking to resources
 Reassure the caller that you are
there to support them and aid
them in determining what is
their best course of action
How to Work with a
Depressed Caller
 Determine “How Long” the caller
has been sad/depressed and
whether they have felt like this
before
 Ask them to tell you about when
(how long ago) they felt happy
and had energy and then ask
them what is different now
 Ask how you can best help them
 Use engagement strategies to
connect you with the caller
How to Work with a
Depressed Caller
 Determine the caller’s
support system and whether
they are aware a problem
exists
 Ask the caller about their
sleep habits, and appetite
 Ask the caller if they (or
others) have noticed a weight
loss
How to Work with a
Depressed Caller
 Ask the caller if they are taking
medications and when they last
spoke with their physician
 If the caller relates suicidal
thoughts, implement your agency’s
P&P’s
If you feel afraid, severely anxious
and/or distressed after a call, speak
with your supervisor and debrief the
call.