Transcript Baba - sai sahara samithi

“a stage in life when the slightest turn
towards the wrong will spoil
character” Baba
WORLD HEALTH ORGANISATION
Adolescence.
The age span of 10-19 years in the
a human being……
Youth
The age span of 15-24
in the life of a human being…..
life of
Identity Crisis
Adult??
Child? ?
Who am I???
Peer Group Influence
• Economic independence
Unstable emotions
Resentment
of Authority
Present Day challenges for parents
• Influence of Media, TV, Movies etc
• Money Power
• Fast foods
• Elevation in women’s status
Recognising problem signs……
Disturbing/non co operative behaviour
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Arguing with siblings
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Teasing,etc
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Lack of concentration/Distraction
 Disobedience
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Closed Communication
Fear/Anxiety of…..
exams
teacher
one of the parents
a bully in the class
DEFINITIONS
“Counselling is a process that leads to
healing, growth and change.’’
(Dr .B.J.Prashantham)
The 5Es
EMPATHY
ENCOURAGEMENT
EMPOWERMENT
ENRICHMENT
EDUCARE
“Life is listening, learning, lifting and
living” Baba
LISTENING AND RESPONDING
• SUPERFICIAL
• PART/SELECTIVE
• ATTENTIVE
story
Communication
Research(Dr Albert Mahrabian)
WordsVerbal 7%
Body
language55%
VoiceParalinguistic
38%
Mehrabian -communication
theory
• Listen to your child with full attention.
• Lack of communication leads to
misunderstanding.
• Answer your child’s questions, do not
avoid them
• This builds trust and faith
Chinna katha dolls
• Admonishing
What’s wrong with you?
Why have you done this?
• Moralising/LABELLING
You are such a bad student.careless fellow!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
• Humiliating
I am disappointed in you.
I did not expect this of YOU.
• Sympathising \Sarcastic
Oh! , that’s really bad! Poor thing! You can only be
a street vendor if you don’t study
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GUIDELINES
•
DON’TS
1.Dont advice, preach, moralise, compare
2. Avoid ‘have to’, ‘should/should not’, ‘must
/must not’ etc
Avoid ‘why’ question as far as possible
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DO’S
• Use Reflective responses
• A. Reflection of content
• B. Reflection of feelings
SUMMARISE!
• It shows understanding and Empathy
STYLES OF PARENTING
Autoritarian/Autocratic
ONLY LAW
Uninvolved
No LOVE or LAW
Permissive
Too much anuraga
attachment LOVE
Authoritative
LAW+LOVE
P
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S
O
N
A
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T
y
PHYSICAL
Dharma
EMOTIONAL
Shanthi
PSYCHIC
Prema
INTELLECTUAL
Sathya
SPIRITUAL
Ahimsa
D
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A
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N
S
“Do all household work
as acts of worship for
Him: that is more fruitful
than hours of
meditation,hours gained
by entrusting this
precious work to paid
helpers.”
Recent structural MRI studies
have demonstrated that the
brain undergoes considerable
development during
adolescence.
“Education is for life, not for a living”
Baba
Aware of feelings/emotions
Coping with emotions
Understanding others
emotions
Self concept
“Love is the undercurrent of human life;Man will be able
to manifest his innate divinity only when he develops love
within” Baba
“Sow a seed of good thought
Reap aharvest of good action
Sow a seed of good action
Reap a harvest of good habit
Sow a seed of good habit
Reap a harvest of good character
Sow a seed of good character
Reap a harvest of good destiny”
Baba
Transformation Tools
The 5 techniques
• Silent sitting / Guided visualisation
• Prayer/Chanting
• Group Singing
• Story-telling /Play acting
• Group Seva activities
The Spiritual Tool Box
used IN BAL VIKAS
5 Relationships that make the Home
1 Spouse Bond
Relationship
Love
Husband & Wife
2 Power Structure
Empowerment of Family Members
Dharma
3 Family Time
Activities & Customs
Peace
Mode of communication within the family
Truth
4 Communication
5 Awareness & Connectivity
Spiritual Belief, Network of
Friends & Relatives
Non-Violence
1.SPOUSE
BOND
“UNDERSTANDING FIRST,
ADJUSTMENT NEXT”
Baba
Love
2. EMPOWERMENT OF SPOUSE.
“HOME IS THE DWELLING PLACE OF RIGHT CONDUCT .
A HOME IS A HOME IF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE
HONOURED AND RESPECTED WITHIN IT.SUCH A HOME
IS THE HAVEN OF PROSPERITY AND PEACE.”Baba
3.FAMILY TIME
“PARENTS CAN IMPART ELEMENTS OF THEIR
CULTURE AND VALUES WHEN THEY SHARE
PRIME FAMILY TIME WITH CHILDREN.” Baba
BAD TIMES ARE TESTING TIMES (coping skills)
PEACE
COOPERATION,
APPRECIATION
RECREATION
SHARING
4.COMMUNICATION
“50% OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IS
LISTENING.
IF YOU GIVE AN EAR TO OTHERS ,THEN OTHERS
WILL GIVE AN EAR TO YOU.”
RESPECT, EMPATHY,
HONESTY
AWARENESS OF
OTHERS’ FEELINGS
Words!
• “Words can confer strength:they can
drain it off.”
• “Power of the atom bomb” Baba
•
Cultural activities,
functions, festivals etc
sense of oneness, and
belonging, connectivity-
SELF AWARENESS,
SPIRITUAL ACTIVITIES,
PRAYER AND DEVOTION
“Have
Constructive
thoughts,
Consoling words,
and
Compassionate
acts”
Baba
Prayer
Bedtime
Quiet/homework
Household Chores
Family activities
Allowance
Consequence
Rules
“Discipline is needed in every aspect to
maintain the right course of life.”
Baba
No rules land
REMEMBER!
• Don’t label your child..
• Correct only the wrong
behaviour
Labels:
You are stupid
You are foolish
You are so slow
GUIDELINES
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Acceptance and warmth
Loving friendly approach
Realistic expectations
Remembering the
divine connectivity
GUIDELINES
• Focus on ‘here and now’
• Immediate
acknowledgement of wrong
or right
• Allow them to be part of
family conversations,
decision making…
Self-Concept
The
self esteem
pot
Self esteem
Empty
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Overflowing
SELF EMPOWERMENT!
SELF-CONFIDENCE
Self
Satisfaction
Self
Sacrifice
Self
Realisation
Exemplar/Role Model
The primary responsibility of a parent is to
mould the character of the child.” Baba
“BE, DO ,AND THEN TELL”
EXEMPLAR PAR EXCELLENCE
Baba says
“Parents must feel that they are
servants appointed by the Lord to
tend the little souls that are born in
their households, as the gardener
tends the trees in the garden of the
Master.”