Transcript Leadership Communication and Connection

Leadership Communication
and Connection
Written by: Larry G. Hess
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
INTRODUCTION
Communication is the oil that enables people
to work together smoothly. It is the basis of all
relationships. Without communication, there
is no connection and no significant
relationships.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
INTRODUCTION
The proper use of communication and
problem solving skills will enable leaders to
communicate and connect with people in a
way that provides the greatest chance for
positive interactions.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
INTRODUCTION
Ineffective communication can be destructive
and cause serious emotional consequences.
The inability to manage emotions under
stress and the inability to communicate
effectively often produces unresolved and
repetitive conflicts in local churches.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
INTRODUCTION
We will look at five (5) steps for leaders in
communicating and connecting effectively.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 1 – Develop a High Level of Self-Awareness
Self-awareness reveals:
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How we see ourselves
What is most important to us
How we react in distress
Our “hot buttons”
Our levels of emotional stability and spiritual
maturity by exposing what we do under stress
and at our worst
• How others really see us
• How good we are at making the right choices
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 1 – Develop a High Level of Self-Awareness
How can we increase our levels of selfawareness?
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 1 – Develop a High Level of Self-Awareness
Self -Awareness Requires Examining How
We Make Appraisals
Self-awareness increases when we understand
how our thoughts and beliefs influence our
feelings, actions, and reactions.
1. Suggestions on identifying how we make
appraisals
2. Tips for making accurate appraisals
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 1 – Develop a High Level of Self-Awareness
High quality self-awareness includes how we
make appraisals, use our senses, manage our
feelings, identify our intentions, and monitor
our actions.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 2 – Manage Emotions
Managing emotions requires self-discipline
and control over our thoughts, actions, and
behavioral tendencies (weaknesses).
In order to manage our emotions and to move
toward maturity in Christ, we must be
renewed in our spirit, made alive in Christ,
and have our minds renovated.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 2 – Manage Emotions
A.
Range of Emotions –From Love to
Hate
Psalm 97:10 – “Those who love the Lord hate
evil.”
The extent of our hatred of evil should be
determined by our love of good.
A mark of a disciplined heart is its ability to
share in the emotions of others and to show
loving compassion and empathy.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 2 – Manage Emotions
B.
Self-control or Self-discipline
Self-discipline is the crowning fruit of the
Spirit that must be cultivated and nurtured by
believers.
In order to live the Christ-life, we must be
totally committed to managing our emotions
in the power of the Holy Spirit. Self-control
achieved through the fruit of the Holy Spirit is
basic to managing our emotions.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 2 – Manage Emotions
Fruit of the Spirit
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 2 – Manage Emotions
“But also for this very reason, giving all
diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue
knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to selfcontrol perseverance, to perseverance
godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness,
and to brotherly kindness love. For if these
things are yours and abound, you will be
neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge
of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 1:5-8).
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 3 – Motivate Yourself
Self-motivation is the key to starting and
completing a task.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 3 – Motivate Yourself
A.
The New Motivations
The new motivations are personal growth, a sense
of being worthwhile, and a sense of
accomplishment.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 3 – Motivate Yourself
B.
Motivated by Inner Passion
The apostle Paul was motivated by inner passion,
not by great oratory or empty promises of fame.
Paul’s method of motivating people can be
explained in identifying three (3) simple steps:
1. Set forth the truth plainly.
2. Be direct and honest with people but do not
manipulate.
3. See personal relationships as the basis of
ministry.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 3 – Motivate Yourself
C. Self-Motivation Strategy
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Create a positive and friendly atmosphere.
Enjoy the fact that people are uniquely different.
Stay focused on who you are, not what somebody else is.
Keep looking to the future; not just the present or the past.
Do not attempt to go beyond your capabilities or your
responsibilities.
Take an honest look at your goals and primary motivations.
Guard against saying the negative things to yourself when
frustrated, disappointed, or distressed.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
The foundation of any relationship is
communication.
When communicating with people, wise
leaders pay close attention to how we impact
other’s feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
Wise leaders have learned the skill of being
sensitive and capable of quickly adjusting
their communication style.
Some important communication skills are:
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
A. Self-Disclosure
Suggestions for using self-disclosure:
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Acknowledge ownership of statements
Make Sense Statements
Use Interpretive Statements
Make feeling statements
Use intention statements
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
B. Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the ability to protect your own
beliefs, opinions, rights, and desires along with
demonstrating respect for the rights of others.
Assertiveness is a positive and necessary way to
respect your own thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and
needs in a mutually benefiting style.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
Suggestions for Assertiveness
1. Clarify your position with important facts
2. Seek to understand and acknowledge the other
person’s position
3. Repeat your position with consistency
4. Defend your position with logic
5. Strive for a compromise that brings resolution in a
mutually satisfying way
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
C. Dynamic Listening
Dynamic listening helps you get underneath
the surface of what someone says to hear the
feelings that are really being expressed.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
D. Criticism
The effective use of criticism requires the
skillful use of every component of good
communication.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
In giving criticism:
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Check your motive – is it to help?
Choose the right time and place
Protect the person’s self-esteem
Emphasize improvement
Show concern
Manage your own emotions
Clearly identify problems with examples
List desired changes
Always give some positive feedback
Discuss acceptable solutions and positive benefits of change
then end on a positive note
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
STEP 4 - Develop Effective Communication Skills
In receiving criticism
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Acknowledge that you can learn from criticism
Listen carefully before saying anything
Avoid immediate defensive responses by tuning in to your
emotions
4. Take a deep breath and go slow
5. Accept responsibility for your actions
6. Turn off listening filters
7. Use self-disclosure statements
8. Use assertiveness but remain positive and avoid
defensiveness
9. Watch how the giver of criticism is reacting to your
responses
10. Summarize the other person’s statements and show a
willingness to change
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess
Conclusion
The purpose of communication is to connect
in a meaningful way. We use our selfawareness, self-control, listening skills,
openness, attention, and willingness to handle
criticism to achieve spiritual and emotional
maturity in communicating, understanding,
and connecting at the deepest levels of feeling
and emotion.
Copyright 2004 Larry G. Hess