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“Behavior 101 - How Do I
Manage My Child At
Home?”
Presented by:
Patty Chen-Ma, Guidance
Counselor
3 Big Cs
•
Key components in managing your
child -
1. COMMUNICATION
2. CONSEQUENCES & POSITIVE
REINFORCEMENT
3. CONSISTENCY
Communication –
• The Different Types -
• Verbal – tone, speed, volume
• Non verbal - eye contact,
heights, body language
Have you looked at yourself when
you’re angry?
Key Elements of
Communication
• Now, you will learn strategies to
enhance communication with
your children.
•
•
•
•
Active (Effective) Listening
Reflective Listening
“I” Statements
Acknowledging the Positives in
Your Child
“How do I get my child to
listen to me?” –
4. “I” statements – making the feeling your
own, taking ownership of your feeling.
“I”
1.
2.
3.
statements consist of 3 parts:
A feeling
A description of the condition
A reason for that feeling
Formula: “I feel ________ when ________ and I
would like _________.”
•
“I” statements can help parents and
children communicate with each other,
avoid confusion, and minimize arguments.
Acknowledging the Positives in
Your Child
• Tell your child their strengths or
what they did well and put a
period at the end of it. Do not
add “but,” “and,” “or,” etc.
because children often
remember the last part of the
sentence and not the beginning.
Consequences
• The importance of positive
reinforcement and
consequences
• The right way to give
consequences – Stay Calm,
Time Out, No Fun Jar, Loss of
Privileges etc.
• Target one behavior at a time
• Physical punishment is NOT a
Consequence (continued)
• Whenever you apply a
consequence, you should:
• 1. Announce the consequence
• 2. Fit the consequence to the crime
• 3. Fit the consequence to your kid’s
development level.
• 4. Don’t negotiate
• 5. Don’t wait
• 6. Get everyone on board.
• 7. Preserve your child’s dignity –
discipline in private
Types of Strategies
• Behavior Contract copies for parents\behavior
contract 1.JPG
• Fun Jar/No Fun Jar copies for parents\fun
jar.JPG;copies for parents\no fun jar.JPG
• Point System copies for parents\point
1.JPG;copies for parents\point 2.JPG
• Incentive charts copies for parents\incentive
chart 1.JPG;copies for parents\incentive
bracelet.JPG
• *visual effect of the rewards – cards with
pictures of prizes
Praise your child
• Praise your child to encourage good
behavior
• How to make praise more effective
in changing behavior:
•
•
•
•
•
Specific
Repeated
Deserved
Genuine
Individual
Consistency
• 21 days commitment - don’t
give up until you see positive
change.
• Get everyone on board
• Don’t forget to tell you child you
love them!
• - therapeutic Rapport
Q & A Session
Contact Information
• Patty Chen-Ma
([email protected])
• Vejar Elementary School (909)
594-1434 X38150
• Quail Summit Elementary School
(909) 861-3004 X53131
• Westhoff Elementary School (909)
594-6483 X52166