Transcript Becoming Gendered - The Early Years

Becoming
Gendered: The
Early Years
Chapter 7
Entering a Gendered
Society
We are born into a gendered
society
 Infants interact with others and
develop personal identity

Self-as-Object
Humans are able to reflect on
themselves
 Self-as-object = ability to think
about ourselves and reflect and
respond to ourselves

Self-as-Object
Look at ourselves through eyes of
others
 At first, others’ views of us are
external
 Gradually we internalize what
others say about us
◦ Their views become key to how
see ourselves

Self-as-Object

Standpoint, anthropological, and
queer performative theories
demonstrate variation in what is
considered feminine and
masculine
Monitoring
We are able to monitor ourselves
 We observe and regulate our
attitudes and behaviors
 We use symbols to define who we
are

Monitoring
Monitoring - engage in internal
dialogues with others’
perspectives we internalized
 Remind what others have told us
we are supposed to think, do, look
like, feel
 Remind what others have told us
is appropriate for age, sex

Monitoring

Personal identity is social
◦ Influenced by family and society
 Even when we don’t identify
with prevailing social
perspectives
Gendering
Communication

Families are a primary influence
on gender identity
Unconscious
Processes

Insight into unconscious dynamics
comes from psychoanalytic
theories
◦ Person’s core identity shaped in
early years of life
Unconscious
Processes

Psychoanalytic theory originated
with Freud
◦ Claimed anatomy is destiny
Unconscious
Processes

Biology determines which parent
child will identify with
◦ Will determine how child’s
psyche develops
Unconscious
Processes
At early age, children of both
sexes focus on penis
 Boys identify with father
 Girls recognize similarity to
mother

Unconscious
Processes
Girls - mother responsible for lack
of penis
 Boys - father has power to
castrate
 Both see father/penis as power

Unconscious
Processes
Limited empirical support for
Freud’s theory
 More recent scholars:
◦ Females do not envy penis
◦ May envy power it symbolizes

Unconscious
Processes
Families critical to formation of
gender identity
 During earliest stages of life
children depend on and identify
with caregiver
◦ Woman often primary caregiver

Unconscious
Processes

Children of both sexes form first
identification with adult woman
◦ Around 3, male and female
development diverge
◦ Girls continue to identify with
mother
Unconscious
Processes
Boys lessen identification with
mother
 Focus on identifying with male
 Complicated when father not
highly involved in boy’s life

Unconscious
Processes

Fathers in our era:
◦ Closer relationships with sons
◦ Sons perceive fathers as less
affectionate than fathers perceive
themselves
Unconscious
Processes
Masculine gender can be difficult
to grasp if lack strong relationship
with male
 Boys define masculinity in
negative terms – not like mother

Unconscious
Processes
Girls given rewards for being
Mommy’s helper
 See mother as role model for
femininity

Unconscious
Processes
Boys rewarded for being
independent
 Roam from home to find
companions

Unconscious
Processes
Boys’ social development - large
groups with temporary
memberships
 Girls’ social development –
continuing, personal relationships

Unconscious
Processes
Boys become achieving and
independent
 Girls become nurturing and
relationally oriented

Unconscious
Processes
Girls continue to seek close
relationships
 Place importance on personal
communication throughout life

Unconscious
Processes
Boys learn to define themselves
independently of others
 Maintain distance from others

Unconscious
Processes
Children of single-parents difficulty finding models of both
genders
 Single-father families cohesive
◦ Single-father-child discussions
more elaborate

Unconscious
Processes

Develop preferences while
socialized
◦ Men and women with masculine
inclinations – value
independence
Unconscious
Processes

Develop preferences while
socialized
◦ Women and men with feminine
inclinations – value relationships
Ego Boundaries
Ego boundaries = point which
individual stops and rest of world
begins
 Distinguish self from everyone
and everything else
 Linked to gender identity

Ego Boundaries

Feminine gender identity
◦ Emphasize interrelatedness with
others
◦ Permeable ego boundaries
◦ Tend to be empathetic
◦ Become involved with others and
neglect own needs
◦ Feel responsible for others
Ego Boundaries

Masculine gender identity
◦ Firm ego boundaries
◦ Less likely to experience others’
feelings
◦ Keep distance from others
◦ Others’ feelings distinct from
their own
Ego Boundaries
Women’s ego boundaries more
permeable than those of men
 Women comfortable feeling
connected to others, sense lives
are interwoven with others,
uneasy with those who want high
degree of independence

Ego Boundaries
Men have firm ego boundaries
 Feel secure when autonomy high,
feel suffocated in extremely close
relationships

Parental
Communication
Girls rewarded for being helpful,
nurturing, deferential
◦ At times for being assertive,
athletic, smart
 Boys rewarded for being
competitive, independent,
assertive

Parental
Communication
Parents’ communication reflects
parents’ gender stereotypes
 Within 24 hours of birth, parents
respond to babies in terms of
gender
◦ Boys = strong, hardy, big,
active, alert
◦ Girls = small, dainty, delicate

Parental
Communication
Parents may communicate
different expectations about
achievement to sons than
daughters
 This may vary according to
subculture

Parental
Communication
Parents convey messages about
assertiveness and aggressiveness
to sons and daughters
 Children learn to express
differently
◦ Girls develop less direct ways of
expressing aggression

Parental
Communication
Fathers encourage genderappropriate behaviors
 Fathers tend to:
◦ Talk more with daughters
◦ Engage in more activities with
sons

Parental
Communication
Mothers talk more about
emotions with daughters
 Daughters disclose more
information to parents

Parental
Communication
Mothers’ communication focuses
on providing comfort, security,
emotional development
 More eye contact and face-toface interaction

Parental
Communication
Mothers repeat infant daughters’
vocalizations more
 Play with children at children’s
level

Parental
Communication
Today’s fathers talk more with
children
 Focus more on playing with
children than taking care of them

Parental
Communication
Encourage children to develop
skills and meet challenges
 Stretch children by urging to
compete, take risks
 Encourage initiative, achievement

Parental
Communication
Fathers’ communication has
strong impact on self-esteem
 Focus communication on abilities,
accomplishments, goals

Parental
Communication
Mothers more likely to talk about
sex topics with children,
particularly daughters
 Girls who talk to mothers about
sex are more likely to have
conservative sexual values

Parental
Communication
Fathers don’t talk directly about
sex with children
 Talk to daughters about related
issues
 Both parents talk more with
daughters about sex than sons

Parental
Communication
Parents communicate gender
expectations through toys and
clothes
 Some actively discourage
interests associated with other
gender

Parental
Communication
Feminine toys encourage quiet,
nurturing interaction with others,
verbal communication
 Masculine toys promote
independent, competitive
activities, little verbal interaction

Parental
Communication

Parents who limit toys limit
children’s development of various
ways of thinking and interacting
Parental
Communication

Parents communicate
expectations through chores
◦ Girls more responsible for
domestic duties
◦ Boys more responsible for
outdoor work
Parental
Communication
Gender socialization more rigid
for boys than for girls
 Fathers more insistent on gender
stereotypes for sons

Parental Modeling
Parents most visible models of
masculinity and femininity
 Families in our era are diverse
 Single mothers provide more
multifaceted models for women’s
roles
 Single fathers provide more
multifaceted roles of manhood

Parental Modeling

More women live without a
spouse than with one
◦ Percentage varies by race
Parental Modeling
• 53%-75% of mothers work
outside home
 Half of white men and one third
of black mean bring in at least
70% of family income
 30% women in dual-worker
family make more money than
male partner
Parental Modeling
Gay and lesbian parents
becoming more visible
 Some have children through
technology or adoption
 Some parent older children from
previous unions

Parental Modeling
Blended families common
 Many children live with
stepfamily
◦ Able to observe multiple models
of gender
◦ More diverse ideas of how
families can work and gender
can be embodied

Parental Modeling
Parents model attitudes about
appearance
 Fathers who work out encourage
sons to play sports
◦ Physical strength is masculine

Parental Modeling

Mothers remark about weight
and eating
◦ Communicate to be feminine is
to be thin
◦ Daughters should strive for
thinness
Parental Modeling
First years not absolute
determinants of gender across
life span
 Personal gender identity changes
over time as develop and interact
with diverse people

Personal Side of
Gender Drama
Gender is deeply personal
 Each of us work to define and
express our own gender

Growing Up
Masculine
Many variations of masculinity
 Six themes of masculinity

Growing Up
Masculine

1. Don’t be female
◦ Peer pressure to be tough
◦ Insults suggest feminine
Growing Up
Masculine

2. Be successful
◦ Expected to be successful at
sports
◦ Expected to achieve
professional status
◦ Regarded as success objects
Growing Up
Masculine

3. Be aggressive
◦ Rewarded for being daredevils
◦ Not to run from confrontation
◦ Sports participation
◦ Be aggressive in profession
◦ Don’t seek help when depressed
Growing Up
Masculine

3. Be
aggressive
◦ Aggression
may be linked
to violence
Growing Up
Masculine

3. Be aggressive
◦ Think entitled to dominate
women
 Women and men who are
violent toward dates have
masculine orientation
Growing Up
Masculine

4. Be sexual
◦ Expected to have number of
sexual partners
 Pressure especially strong for
black males
Growing Up
Masculine

5. Be self-reliant
◦ Depends on himself, relies on
nobody
◦ Differentiation from others
◦ Emotionally controlled
Growing Up
Masculine

6. Embody and transcend
traditional views of masculinity
◦ Men pressured by other men to
enforce masculine code
◦ Also pressured from females to
be more sensitive and
emotionally open
Growing Up
Masculine
Men who do not measure up may
experience depression
 Unwilling to seek help due to
views of masculinity
 Men 4 times more likely to
commit suicide

Growing Up
Masculine
New trend among young men is
resistance to growing up as
fathers and grandfathers did
 Extending adolescence
◦ Spend years avoiding
commitments
 Societal confusion about how to
be a man

Growing Up
Feminine

Two versions of femininity exist
today
◦ Women now have it all
◦ It is not possible to have it all
Growing Up
Feminine
Women may be able to get jobs,
but only 20% will advance to
highest levels
 Rape is rising
 Battering of women is rising
 Women have careers, but still do
majority of housework

Growing Up
Feminine
Media carry message youth and
beauty are ticket to success
 Leads to five themes of
femininity

Growing Up
Feminine

1. Appearance still counts
◦ Women urged to be pretty, slim,
well dressed
◦ Focus begins in early years of
life
 Dolls come with accessories –
some model fashion-conscious
sexuality as ideal
Growing Up
Feminine
See examples of Bratz dolls at:
 http://www.bratz.com/
 See an example of teen
magazine for girls at:
◦ http://www.cosmogirl.com/

Growing Up
Feminine

1. Appearance still counts
◦ Teen magazines for girls
saturated with ads for make-up,
diet aids, hair products
◦ Adolescent romance novels send
message popularity depends on
looks, engaging in casual sex,
being rich and thin
Growing Up
Feminine

1. Appearance still counts
◦ Ideal of thinness can lead to
fatal eating disorders
◦ Most store mannequins are size
4 or lower
◦ Stores hire young, sexy
employees
Growing Up
Feminine

1. Appearance still counts
◦ Women athletes feel pressure to
look feminine
Growing Up
Feminine

2. Be sensitive and caring
◦ Pressure to be nice, deferential,
helpful
◦ Supposed to care about others
◦ Primary responsibility for young
children and elderly, sick, and
disabled relatives
Growing Up
Feminine

2. Be sensitive and caring
◦ Encouraged to please others
◦ Encouraged to look attractive
◦ Taught to soften opinions and
accommodate others
◦ Difficult to share homemaking
and parenting roles
Growing Up
Feminine

3. Negative treatment by others
◦ More subject to sexual assault
◦ More likely to live in poverty
◦ More likely to face salary and
job discrimination
Growing Up
Feminine

3. Negative treatment by others
◦ Children learn society values
women differently than men
◦ Family preference for sons
 In some cultures female fetuses
aborted, or female infants killed
Growing Up
Feminine

3. Negative treatment by others
◦ Websites feature beatings and
sexual assaults on women
◦ Rap refers to women in
derogatory terms and shows
men abusing them
◦ Video games – points for
mauling women
Growing Up
Feminine

3. Negative treatment by others
◦ Begins early in peer groups
◦ Critical of other girls
 May take part in social
aggression
Indirect, covert
 Peaks from 10-14
Growing Up
Feminine

3. Negative treatment by others
◦ Girls fear being overtly mean
would lead to disapproval
◦ Girls learn to hide feelings of
anger and express indirectly
Growing Up
Feminine

4. To be a superwoman
◦ Women feel they are required to
have it all
◦ Takes physical and psychological
toll
◦ Growing steadily
Growing Up
Feminine

5. There is no single meaning of
feminine anymore
◦ Ambitious career woman may
be met with approval or
disapproval
◦ Stay-at-home mother may be
met with criticism or respect
Growing Up
Feminine

5. There is no single meaning of
feminine anymore
◦ Themes reveal constancy and
change
◦ Expectations for attractiveness
and caring persist
◦ Still greater likelihood for
negative treatment
Growing Up
Feminine

5. There is no single meaning of
feminine anymore
◦ Multiple definitions of
womanhood may allow women
to define themselves
Growing Up Outside
Conventional Roles

For people who do not identify
with and perform normative
gender, sex, sexuality – growing
up difficult
◦ Gay men ostracized
◦ Lesbians scorned
Growing Up Outside
Conventional Roles
Transgendered socially isolated
 Hard to find role models
 Hard to find acceptance

Growing Up Outside
Conventional Roles
Seldom made
identities or
struggles public
 Changing as
people demand
recognition
