Transcript Chapter 4 Love, Intimacy and Sexual Communication

Chapter Four
Love, Intimacy,
and Sexual
Communication
Historical Perspectives
Arrange Marriages
• Dowries
Bundling
Marriage for Love and Intimacy
Establishing Early Intimacy
Field of Eligibles
Physical Attractiveness
• The “Beautiful is Better” Bias
• The Effect of Media
• The Matching Hypothesis
Proximity
• Proximity Effect
• Mere Exposure Effect
Similarity
Flirting
Reciprocity of Attraction
John Lee’s Styles of Love
The Six Styles
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Eros Love
Ludus Love
Storge Love
Mania Love
Pragma Love
Agape Love
Combining Love Styles
John Lee’s Styles of Love (cont.)
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular
Theory of Love
The Three
Components
• Intimacy
• Passion
• Commitment
Robert Sternberg’s Triangular
Theory of Love
Possible Combinations of the Three Components
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Liking (I)
Infatuation (P)
Empty Love (C)
Romantic Love (I & P)
Fatuous Love (P &C)
Companionate Love (I &C)
Consummate Love (I, P & C)
Applying the Triangular Theory
Communication In Love
Relationships
Self-Disclosure: How Much Should You Reveal
About Yourself?
Behavioral Attributions: Why Did You Do That?
• Relationship-enhancing Attributions
• Distress-maintaining Attributions
Patterns of Effective Communication
• Validating Communication
• Volatile Communication
• Conflict-avoiding Communication
Communication In Love
Relationships (cont.)
Communication Warning Signs
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Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Improving Communication
• Understanding Intimate Communication: Six “Simple
Truths”
• Enhancing Intimate Communication: Five “Rules”
Sexual Communication
Sexual Self-disclosure
• Barriers
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Lack of Information
Embarrassment
Insecurity About Using the Right Words
Sexual Taboos
Fear of Judgment
Fear of Rejection
• Strategies for Improving Sexual Communication
Losing Love: Ten Reasons Why
Relationships Fail
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Lack of Self-knowledge
Acceptance of Sexual Myths and Stereotypes
Ineffective Communication
Imbalances of Decision-making Power
Low Self-esteem, Insecurity and Lack of Selfconfidence
6. Isolation
7. Failing to Keep Promises, Lying, or Cheating
8. Excessive Jealousy (Normal vs. Delusional)
9. Control Issues
10. Violence
Abusive and Violent Relationships
Types of Relationship Abuse
• Physical
• Verbal
• Emotional
In Touch with Your Sexual Health: Signs of
Relationship Abuse
• Signs That You May Have an Abusive Partner
• Signs That You May Be an Abusive Partner
Abusive and Violent Relationships
(cont.)
The Cycle of Violence and Abuse
• The Honeymoon
Phase and/or the
Beginning of the
Relationship
• The Tension-building
Phase
• Explosion
• Return to the
Honeymoon Phase
Getting Out and Moving On
Leaving a Violent Relationship
The Temptation to Go Back
Self-Discovery Your Criteria for a Healthy,
Nonabusive Relationship
• What Qualities Do You Require?
• What Characteristics Are Unacceptable?
Loving Again