Transcript Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal
Communication
Dr. Martha Reavley
Odette School of Business
Introduction

Key to interpersonal and
organizational effectiveness
Topics of Discussion
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Models of effective communication:
basic model and the pyramid of
mutuality
Communication styles
Native tongue exercise
The Basic Model of
Communication
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Sender message
– channel
– noise
receiver
Pyramid of Mutuality
Mutual Respect
Mutual Meaning
Mutual Purpose
Silence
Withdrawing
Hiding
Politicking
Monologuing
Violence
Labeling
Attacking
Mutuality
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A win-win situation that is built on a
foundation of trust
Sharing things in common
Seeking for things in common:
 interests
 goals
 values
Mutual Purpose
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Common goals or objectives that
are built on a foundation of trust
Something we want
Mutual Meaning
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Observations, assumptions,
conclusions, and feelings that both
parties acknowledge as valid
Available Meaning: When ideas,
observations, and values are
acknowledged and understood,
they become part of the available
pool of common meaning
Hidden Meaning: Through sharing
meaning we become more aware
of inconsistencies in our own
thinking
Mutual Respect
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Critical for maintaining dialogue
Both parties choose to treat each
other with dignity, decency, and
consideration, based on the
assumption that others are
reasonable, and decent
Silence - to - Violence continuum
Dialogue
Violence
Silence
Withdrawing hiding
politicking
monologuing labeling attacking
Silence Strategies

Politicking: selectively hiding and
showing meaning. We hide our
motives or withhold assumptions

Hiding: talking without revealing
anything. Manipulative
conversations

Withdrawing: Pulling out of
communication completely. The
most severe form of silence.
Silence Strategies exs.

At work
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In school
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At home
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With friends
Violence Strategies
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Monologuing: Talking with the
sole purpose of getting what you
want. Communication is
unidirectional.

Labeling: Turing people into
categories or things in order to get
what you want. Makes it easier to
do or say anything.
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Attacking: Communicating for the
sole purpose of pushing or hurting.
It includes harsh accusation,
yelling and raw invective.
Violence strategies exs.

At work
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At school
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At home
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With friends
Strategies Test
1.
Let me see if I understand.
2.
Oh yeah, you bozo.
3.
If you say so.
4.
Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could
say I guarantee.
5.
I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the
deadline?
6.
There’s no time for discussion. Just do it!
7.
No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add.
8.
You bean counters always think that way.
9.
I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a
terrific job.
Answers
1.
Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand
2.
Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling
3.
If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning
4.
Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I
guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition
5.
I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the
deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand
6.
There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing
7.
No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling
8.
You bean counters always think that way. labeling
9.
I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a
terrific job. politicking
Effective Communication:
A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour
Underlying Values
Silence
Dialogue
Violence
Value
Control
Shared
outcomes meaning,
Be right
learning
Control
outcomes
Be right
Purpose
Keep it
hidden
Share openly Demand
your own
Meaning
Disclose
little
Share openly Force your
own
Respect
Indirect
Conscious
strategies effort
Intentional
strategy
3 Practice Scripts
Native Tongue Exercise
What This Means For Change
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Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm
voice when speaking to…
Critique your performance: How did you violate the
rule? What went wrong?
Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some
explanations - “in the past this has ended in shouting
match….
Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue
Next Steps
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Commit to effective communication
Understand the problems within
your group
Document your progress in you
diary