Transcript DEALING WITH TREASURY SERVICES DOCUMENTATION AND …

Communicating In The
st
21 Century: How Do
You Know If You Are
Effective?
Mark Krawczyk
Communication – Defined
“…an exchange of thoughts, messages, or
information as by speech, signals, writing or
behavior…”
“…a system for sending and receiving messages,
as by telephone, telegraph, radio, etc….”
OR COULD IT BE SO SIMPLE AS
Saying what you mean and meaning what you say
(no matter how you choose to “say” it)?
Why Do We Communicate?
Just a few reasons:
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To share or gain information
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To express a wide range of emotions
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To provide a means of dealing with difficult
individuals as well as pleasant folks
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To get directions
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To satisfy a human need for acceptance
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To express your opinion (wanted or not!!)
Where Do We Communicate?
To name a few places:
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At home
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On the job
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In the neighborhood
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At conferences (like this one)
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At the doctor’s office
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On the commuter train / in the car pool
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At the beauty salon or barber shop
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At city council meetings
The 55%, 38%, 7% Rule
This rule states that 55% of the meaning of
communication is body language, 38% is
tonality and 7% is in the words themselves.
How many people agree with this “rule”?
NOT ME!!!
Communication Style
Your communication style depends upon a
number of factors:
 Personal history
 Personality type
 Ethnicity/Nationality
 Race
 Gender
 Generation/Era
More on How We Communicate
Some ways we all communicate:
 Via handshakes
 With eye contact
 Using “body” language/positioning
 By utilizing “proxemics” (the study of
“personal” space)
 With the spoken word
 With the written word
The Handshake
Seven secrets to communicating effectively by
just shaking somebody’s hand:
 Start with eye contact and smile
 Open hand
 Firm, not strong
 Up and down, not back and forth
 Appropriate duration
 Maybe use both hands
 Close with eye contact and a smile
With Eye Contact
Eye contact, properly used, is a powerful aid in
communicating effectively
 Cuts physical distance in half
 Helps you to connect with others on a more
personal, intimate level
 Is an inviting mechanism for audience
members to join in your presentation
 Allows you to gauge the reaction to your talk
 Stops hecklers from pestering you
With Body Language/Positioning
Aggressive non-verbal (angry) cues perhaps:
 Finger pointing
 Glaring
 Arms crossed tightly
 Widening of stance
 Putting your hands on hips
 Clenching your fingers into a fist
 Increasing the volume of your voice
With Body Language/Positioning
How to defuse the aggressive non-verbal (angry)
cues:
 Open palms
 Triangle body positioning
 Looking down
 Decrease voice volume
 Head tilting
 With an understanding of “proxemics”
What is Proxemics?
Proxemics is the study of personal space and
territory – a zone of psychological comfort
What is our/your comfort zone?
 0 – 18 inches is an intimate distance
 18 inches – 4 feet is personal distance
 4 feet to 12 feet is social distance
 More than 12 feet is public distance
What About Personal Space?
When your personal space is violated you more
than likely feel threatened
Proximity separates the strong from the weak
An inanimate object between two people is an
indication of defensiveness
Where should one sit when talking to another?
 Side-by-side fosters cooperation
 Opposite sides fosters competition
 Sit at 90 degrees for good conversation
Communicating With the Spoken Word
When someone speaks, this implies someone else is
listening. Let’s discuss some “sins” that get in the way
of good verbal communication.
 Filtering
 Second guessing
 Discounting
 Relating
 Rehearsing
 Forecasting
 Placating
More on Communicating
With the Spoken Word
That old saying “talk is cheap…” is wrong – what we say
does matter. So, with that in mind, here are some
words to think about avoiding so as not to create
defensive situations:
 “you”
 “but…”
 “always” or “never”
 “must”
 “should”
 “try”
The Spoken Word Conversation Killers
It’s always easier to be aware of another person’s
conversational mistakes than our own. These six
bullet points are common mistakes that block
conversation flow, create frustration and reduce
understanding
 Blabbermouthing
 “Take away” and “me too” syndrome
 Unsolicited advice
 Interrupting
 Contradicting
 Being stingy with your contributions
Communicating With the Written Word
E-Mail
Avoid these e-mail mistakes in your communication
processes:
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Omitting the subject line
Not making the subject line meaningful
Not personalizing your message
Not accounting for “tone”
Forgetting to check for spelling/grammar
Writing the great American novel
Forwarding e-mail without permission
Thinking no one else will ever see your e-mail
Leaving off your signature
Expecting an instant response
Not following the “trail” in a string of messages
Effective Workplace Communication
The four A’s of communication:
1. Attention – Eliminate (as much as one can) all
the “noise” that distracts
2. Apprehension – Usually this means fear, but
its primary meaning is understanding
3. Assimilation – The message has to not only be
heard and understood, it must be accepted
4. Action – The final step in the communication
process
Effective Communication Techniques
Listen actively
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Be attentive
Be impartial
Reflect back
Summarize
Pay attention to your nonverbal message
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Posture
Equal positioning
Facial expressions
Gestures
Effective Communication Techniques
Express thoughts and feelings
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Be open and honest
Speak clearly
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Speak with conviction
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Communicate without being adversarial
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Express concerns non-judgmentally
Use “I” messages