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TEACH OTHERS HOW TO TREAT YOU Dr. Rheanna Plemons, Assistant Registrar Western Kentucky University You are the common denominator! A Personal Example: • Respect • Balance • Happiness • Support A Personal Example: • Disrespect • No Equality • Unhappy A Psychological Dilemma • May conflict with personality type (extrovert vs. introvert) • Lack confidence • Avoid conflict • Have trouble expressing feelings Applying Impression Management at Work • Preparing to Teach • Dressing the Part • Talking the Talk • Walking the Walk Home Identity Preparing to Teach Laid Back • Establish a work identity • Combat Stereotypes Dependent Frivolous Stereotypes Work Identity Not very smart Team Driven Fame Craving Leadership Hard-Working Competition Oriented The Great Debater “The Funny Guy” Decision Maker Social Identity How do you want to be defined at home, at work, and with friends? Dressing the Part • Dress should define your work identity. • Think about how dress will impact others. The Practical Joker? Pratt and Rafaeli (1997) Study Patients in hospital gowns or pajamas + traditionally dressed nurses = patients who feel ill and have negative outlook on treatment Director? Patients in normal clothing + casually dressed nurses = patients who feel better and have a positive outlook The Power of Dress Unity Femininity Courage Creativity Power The Psychology of Colors Beware; Passion; War; Pride; Strength Fun; Easy-Going; Youthful; Warmth Fun; Playful; Cheerful Money; Safety Prestige; Mystery; Power; Luxury Class; Elegance; Fit-In; Power Pure; Fresh; Positive Calm; Creativity; Trust; Strength; Loyalty A Final Note on Attire • Peluchette, Karl, and Rust (2006): Study participants believed manipulating attire… 1. 2. 3. 4. Influenced other’s views. Helped achieve greater power. Created more advancement opportunities. Lead to monetary gains. • Appearance Labor: Shopping, deciding what to wear, spending money, accessorizing • Uniforms = Unity; Reinforces Mission Think about College Color’s Day. Talking the Talk: Direct Communication Direct Communication Indirect Communication Use Clear, Definitive Statements. Participate actively in meetings. Make their points with conviction. Are comfortable giving direction. Use words like should or have to. Tell others why their ideas should be adopted. Address issues co-workers, Resistance andwith Defensiveness from employees, supervisors people whoor don’t like to be “bossed around” Lead people who lack experience Persuade Labeled aa group to use your idea “Control Freak” Lead a group who can’t make decisions Ask a lot of questions. Quietly observe in meetings. Offer suggestions for consideration. Like to get others involved in discussions. Use works like maybe or possibly. Ask others to consider their ideas. Too much observing / listening tells Discover emotional reactions, other you don’t havepower much shifts to say. interpersonal conflict, many person questions Learn more aboutToo another to makes others be more helpful and influential feel interrogated. Listen to concerns of others to fully Are you hiding understand issues something?? Artful questioning to gain knowledge Walking the Walk: Nonverbal Communication • Verbal communication should match non-verbal communication. • Employees monitor supervisor’s verbal and nonverbal communication to identify conflicting signals (Graham, Unruh, and Jennings ; 1991) • Important and influenced interactions • Beware of cultural differences! Type of Non-Verbal Communication 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Facial Expression Tone and volume of voice Body Language Gestures Personal Appearance Behaviors Time Appreciation Space and Distance Silence Non-Verbal Communication • Eye Contact • Most expressive part of the human face • Show worry, sadness, affection, sincerity, suspicion, etc. • Necessary to affirm interest and prove dedication • Smile • Opens the door for communication internationally • Conveys love, compassion, sincerity, courtesy, dependability, etc. • Must be used within context (malicious) • Gestures • Boost morale: Pat on the back; thumbs up • Be careful! • Yawning = Bored • Moving legs or feet = Anxious; Impatient Non-Verbal Communication • Sitting Posture • Lean forward slightly and nod if interested. • Sit with back against chair with crossed arms and/or legs, if not. • Handshake • Conveys confidence, inferiority, respect, aggressiveness, etc. • Firm is best! Loose means weak. Vice-like means controlling. • Pick the best for the situation. • Behaviors • Value the time of others given the culture. • Monochronic and Polychronic Time Monochronic vs. Polychronic Cultures Monochronic People (English) Polychronic People (Latin America) Do one thing at a time Do many things at once Concentrate on the job Can be easily distracted and manage interruptions well Take time commitments seriously Consider an objective to be achieved, if possible Are low context and need information Are high context and already have information Are committed to the job Are committed to people and human relationships Adhere religiously to plans Change plans often and easily Are concerned about not disturbing others; follow rules of privacy and consideration Are more concerned with those who are closely related than privacy Show great respect for private property; seldom borrow or lend Borrow and lend things often and easily Emphasize promptness Base promptness on the relationship DOMINANCE “Q” Behaviors The Dimensional Model: Psychological Associates of St. Louis Q4 Q1 Dominate-Hostile Behavior A model to organize observations of HOSTILITY behavior. Behavior Categories 1. Primary: standard 2. Secondary: unplanned 3. Masked: intentional Warm-Dominate Behavior WARMTH Q2 Q3 HostileSubmissive Behavior Submissive-Warm Behavior SUBMISSION Q1: Dominate –Hostile Behavior • Moves against people • Must be “always right” and “win” at everything. • Opinions and attitudes are abrasive and overpowering • Intimidate and “cut people down” • Attack others personally (not just ideas) • Arrogant in tone and body language • Argumentative • Gained authority because others are afraid to stand up to them or deal with them “You can’t handle the truth!” ~Col. Nathan R. Jessup Q2: Hostile – Submissive Behavior • Shrink back and say little • Cautious • Don’t commit • Tense, pensive, hesitant in decision-making • Resist calculated risks • Pessimistic toward change; prefer the “old” way • Need routines • Procrastinate • Don’t like to discuss personal issues “Spontaneity has its time and place.” ~Maj. Frank Burns Q3: Submissive – Warm Behavior • Trusting; positive about others • Sensitive; Avoid touchy subjects • Responsive to the needs, feelings, and ideas of others • Optimistic • Submissive and nice to others who may not be nice to them. • Want to be pleasant • Talkative • Agree quickly; sway easily • Close in on personal space • Eager to win approval “Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.” ~Annelle Desoto Q4: Warm – Dominant Behavior • Highly effective • Self-assured but never cocky • Ask “good” questions • Never overwhelmed by experts • Act without hesitation • Listen and consider other’s ideas; defend their ideas • Open and candid • Take risks if return is worth it • Eager to learn new ideas • Analytical and results-oriented “Get off my plane”. ~President James Marshall • Can admit being wrong Finally---Watch your ATTITUDE! Really Useful Attitudes Really Useless Attitudes • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Warm Enthusiastic Confident Supportive Relaxed Curious Resourceful Comfortable Helpful Engaging Laid Back Patient Welcoming Cheery Interested Angry Sarcastic Impatient Bored Disrespectful Conceited Pessimistic Anxious Rude Suspicious Vengeful Afraid Self-conscious Mocking Embarrassed “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou