Transcript Slide 1
Communication Matters! Conference for Women Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer April 14, 2013 Wendy Griffith, MSSW, LCSW, OSW-C Social Work Counselor Outline • About communication • Challenges • Communication: – With yourself – With loved ones – With children • Strategies for maintaining communication • Helpful tips Communication • Communication is always important, but following a cancer diagnosis it can: – Decrease harmful effects of assumptions – Provide a sense of power – Create opportunity for growth and deeper understanding – Facilitate coping Challenges • Dynamics may be complicated already • Situation involves life/death and the unknown • No one wants to say or do the wrong thing • The diagnosis may bring up past grief/stress for everyone involved • It’s difficult to be vulnerable • Opening dialogue can give people the impression that they are privy to everything from that point forward Types of communication • Verbal – Words and tones • Non-verbal – Body language, physical touch, facial expressions, etc. • Behavioral – Actions Communication With Yourself Negative Self-talk Negative self-talk Limits coping and negatively impacts the entire cancer experience Limits your willingness/ability to communicate with others Limits others’ ability to help Talking to yourself • Work through the negativity – Document evidence disproving the negative thought – Make a list of positive thoughts or affirmations – List things you’ve done to help others in the past – What would your mentor do? – Seek help if this isn’t successful Communication With Others Before you talk to your loved ones • Think back to how you dealt with past difficult situations • Prepare an outline with the main points you want to cover • Start with close circle of loved ones and move outward as desired. • Try to pick a day where you will feel best prepared • Chose a quiet, private place if possible • Keep the conversation to a reasonable length What are your needs? • Individual/Family – Housing, transportation, meals, etc. • Health/Treatment – Someone to accompany you to appointments, a caregiver at home following treatments, etc. • Work responsibilities • Coping How do you cope? • Examples: – Maintaining routines – Letting someone else handle the details – Helping others – Engaging in physical activities – Being knowledgeable about your diagnosis/treatment – Visiting with small groups of friends What will be helpful to you? • Examples: – Simple listening – Distraction – Having a constant cheerleader – Positive thinking – Taking initiative – Telling others about your diagnosis How do they cope? • Examples: – Talking? – Being involved in care? – Helping maintain the household? – Contributing financially? – Focusing on work or other responsibilities? Strategies for maintaining communication • Designate someone to communicate to others • Group email/text • Create a calendar – www.lotsahelpinghands.com – www.caringbridge.org • Blog – www.carepages.com Talking to Children Talking to children about cancer • Tell them early on • Check for misinformation • 3 C’s – It’s cancer – They didn’t cause it – They can’t catch it • Reassure them that a plan for their welfare is in place • BE HONEST! Tips • Handling all the different reactions in addition to your own emotions can be draining, so remember to take care of yourself. • Do what you can to meet the needs of others, but try to keep it to a basic level. It’s okay for them to mold around your needs. • Agree to inform loved ones of any changes • Even with great communication there will be bumps in the road. • Pass on any articles/videos/ movies/podcasts that resonate with your experience • Be prepared for others to tell you stories about their experiences with people who had cancer • Come up with an answer to “how are you?” • You may get bombarded with “helpful” resources. If you’re not ready for them yet, keep them in a safe place for later. Thoughts? Questions? Contact information: Wendy Griffith, MSSW, LCSW, OSW-C [email protected] 713-792-9948