Transcript Distrust in themselves, school refusal / school phobia

Distrust in yourself
School refusal/ school phobia
By Ana Ruscanu
Distrust of the World and Yourself
As doubt spreads, nothing seems to satisfy.You begin to feel a
churning fear that no one and nothing in the world will give you
fulfillment. Worse, you doubt your own life.You feel that because
of your negative state you are incapable of ever extricating
yourself from your miseries.
Distrust of the world and of yourself is a most profound doubt. As
the doubt becomes interiorized, it extends to your ego —
your sense
of self.You begin to doubt your capacity ever to be happy.You may
doubt the capacity of yourself to know anything. Certainly your
self-esteem is shot down.Your self-confidence cracks apart.You
feel little joy in being you.You sense your ego is only a makeshift
structure which holds you together each flimsy day.You don’t have
an intrinsic sense of who you are or that you are a significant and
worthwhile person.
 This invasion of doubt motivates many suffering people to seek
professional counseling. Questions of what makes life worthwhile,
and why, result from this shattering of confidence in the outer
world, in others, or oneself. Too many people today feel their lives
have substantially no value and therefore life itself has no
substantial value. They run about the planet killing, shooting, and
torturing other people in the most insane manner. Doubt of one's
worth or capacity for happiness is a highly significant problem,
especially in an age which involves considerable disorientation and
regular shake-ups of society. Also, at this time young people dread
the earth will not survive —
that they will not be able to grow old.
Even the existence of the earth and life itself is in doubt.
School refusal
 School refusal is the refusal to attend school due to emotional distress.
School refusal differs from truancy in that children with school refusal
feel anxiety or fear towards school, whereas truant children generally
have no feelings of fear towards school, often
feeling angry or bored with it instead.
 While this was formerly called school phobia, the term school
refusal was coined to reflect that children have problems attending
school for a variety of different reasons and these reasons might not be
the expression of a true phobia, such as separation or social anxiety.
Symptoms:
Symptoms of school refusal include the child saying they feel sick often, or waking up
with a headache, stomachache, or sore throat. If the child stays home from school,
these symptoms might go away, but come back the next morning before school.
Additionally, children with school refusal may have crying spells or throw temper
tantrums.
Warning signs of school refusal include:
1.
frequent complaints about attending school
2.
frequent tardiness or unexcused absences
3.
absences on significant days (tests, speeches, physical education class)
4.
frequent requests to call or go home
5.
excessive worrying about a parent when in school
6.
frequent requests to go to the nurse’s office because of physical complaints
7.
crying about wanting to go home
What Parents Can Do
 It is important for parents to keep trying to get their child to go back to school. The
longer a child stays out of school, the harder it will be to return. However, it may be
hard to accomplish as when forced they are prone to temper tantrums, crying
spells, psychosomatic or panic symptoms and threats of self-harm. These problems
quickly fade if the child is allowed to stay home.
 The most important thing a parent can do is obtain a comprehensive evaluation from
a mental health professional.
 That evaluation will reveal the reasons behind the school refusal and can help
determine what kind of treatment will be best.Your child’s pediatrician should be
able to recommend a mental health professional in your area who works with
children.
The following tips will help you and your child develop coping strategies for school anxieties and
other stressful situations.
 Expose children to school in small degrees, increasing exposure slowly over time. Eventually
this will help them realize there is nothing to fear and that nothing bad will happen.
 Talk with your child about feelings and fears, which helps reduce them.
 Emphasize the positive aspects of going to school: being with friends, learning a favorite
subject, and playing at recess.
 Arrange an informal meeting with your child’s teacher away from the classroom.
 Meet with the school guidance counselor for extra support and direction.
 Try self-help methods with your child. In addition to a therapist’s recommendations, a good
self-help book will provide relaxation techniques. Be open to new ideas so that your child is,
too.
 Encourage hobbies and interests. Fun is relaxation, and hobbies are good distractions that help
build self-confidence.
 Help your child establish a support system. A variety of people should be in your child’s life—
other children as well as family members or teachers who are willing to talk with your child
should the occasion arise.
Causative factors
Factors that can cause reluctance to attend school can be divided
into four categories. These categories have been developed based
on studies in the United States under the leadership of Professor
Christopher Kearney. Some students may be affected by several
factors at once.
 The child possibly wants to avoid school-related issues and
situations that cause unpleasant feelings in her or him, such as
anxiety, depression, or psychosomatic symptoms. The reluctance
to attend school is one symptom that can indicate the presence
of a larger issue, such as anxiety disorder, depression, sleep
disorder, separation anxiety or panic disorder.
The child may want to avoid tests, presentations, group
work, specific lessons, or interaction with other children.
 The child may want attention from significant people
outside of school, such as parents or older acquaintances.
 The child possibly wants to do something more enjoyable
outside of school, like practice hobbies, play computer
games, watch movies, play with friends such as riding
bikes, etc., or learn autodidactictly.
Other factors can be:
 Anxiety about academic achievement and being tested can
arise on the basis of inflated claims by teachers and/or
parents, but also unrealistic ambitions of the upset child
themselves.

School refusal may arise as a response to bullying.
 Shyness or a social phobia can contribute to school refusal.
 The child might worry about parents or siblings, for
instance, a parent with substance abuse, or a parent who
physically abuses other family members.
 Some students may refuse school due to anxiety or fears of
emergency drills, such as fire, lockdown, tornado, and
shelter in place drills.

Conclusions:
 Often, however, “the person you can’t trust is yourself. Your
feelings are not ‘about’ the other person, even if you do feel them
only in this relationship. They are ‘about’ you. When you feel
highly possessive or desperate in relation to another person, it is
almost always because you have not yet developed your own inner
feelings of safety.”
 “As soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live”- Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
 When we develop trust and confidence in our own abilities to
overcome the obstacles we face in life, trust in others follows
naturally.
 School refusal is the refusal to attend school due to
emotional distress.
Sites from where I chose some information:
 http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/school-
refusal
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_refusal
 http://www.themystic.org/turning/distrust.htm
 http://www.purposepowercoaching.com/site/?p=118#sthash.
SyHHm2LB.dpuf