Transcript How to Support Your Child During a Difficult Time

PARENTING A BOWIE BULLDOG:
HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR CHILD DURING
A DIFFICULT TIME
James Bowie H.S.
November 1, 2016
SUSAN LEOS
Bowie Interim Principal
Agenda
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Introductions
Mental Health in Teenagers
Grief and Loss
Coping Skills
Tools
Resources
CHRISTINE HANLON
KARINA REYNA
AISD Licensed Mental Health Professionals
Mental Health Issues
• Over the years, there has been a rise in
serious student mental issues such as:
-Depression
-Bipolar Disorder
-Severe Anxiety
-Suicidal Ideation
-Psychiatric Diagnosis
Prevalence
• 1 in 5 children between the ages of 13-18
have or will have a serious mental illness.
• 11 % of youth have a mood disorder.
• 8% of youth have an anxiety disorder.
• 50% of all lifetime cases begin by age 14 and
75% begin by age 24.
www.nami.org
Relevance
If looking at Bowie with these statistics in mind,
with an enrollment of approximately 3000:
• 600 Bowie students may be experiencing
symptoms of a mental illness
• 330 Bowie students may be depressed
• 240 Bowie students may be experiencing
severe anxiety
Depression
Warning Signs:
• Sadness or hopelessness
• Irritability, anger, or hostility
• Tearfulness or frequent crying
-• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in eating and sleeping habits
• Restlessness and agitation
• Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
• Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
• Fatigue or lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Thoughts of death or suicide
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_teen.htm
Anxiety
Emotional Symptoms
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Feelings of apprehension or dread
Trouble concentrating
Feeling tense and jumpy
Anticipating the worst
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Irritability
Restlessness
Watching for signs of danger
Feeling like your mind’s blank
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Tremors and twitches
Muscle tension
Headaches
Fatigue
Insomnia
Physical Symptoms
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Pounding heart
Sweating
Stomach upset or dizziness
Frequent urination or diarrhea
Shortness of breath
Eating Disorders
Initial Symptoms:
• Dizziness
• Fatigue
• Weakness
• Constipation
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating
• Trouble sleeping
• For girls, menstrual
irregularities
After a Prolonged Period:
• Muscle wasting
• Thinning hair
• Bone loss
• Tooth decay
• Delayed growth and
development
• Anemia
• Digestive problems
• Heart problems
• Seizures
• Depression, which can spiral to
suicidal thoughts or behavior
Self-Injury
What is cutting?
• “Deliberate, repetitive, impulsive, non-lethal
harming of one’s self.”
(SAFE Alternatives definition.)
Self-Injury
Warning Signs:
• Unexplained frequent injuries, including cuts
and burns
• Wearing long pants and sleeves in warm
weather
• Low self-esteem
• Overwhelmed by feelings
• Inability to function at home, school, or work
• Inability to maintain stable relationships
Reasons Students Engage in NonSuicidal Self-Injury
• Relief from intense emotions
• Easier to handle physical pain than emotional
pain
• To gain a sense of balance and control over
emotions
• To make internal wounds external and to
nurture and heal these wounds
How to Help a Teen in Crisis
• Focus on listening, not lecturing. Resist any urge to criticize or pass
judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that
your child is communicating. You’ll do the most good by simply letting
your teen know that you’re there for them, fully and unconditionally.
• Be gentle but persistent. Don’t give up if they shut you out at first.
Talking about their issues can be very tough for teens. Even if they want
to, they may have a hard time expressing what they’re feeling. Be
respectful of your child’s comfort level while still emphasizing your
concern and willingness to listen.
• Acknowledge their feelings. Don’t try to talk your teen out of depression
or anxiety, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to
you. Well-meaning attempts to explain why “things aren’t that bad” will
just come across as if you don’t take their emotions seriously. To make
them feel understood and supported, simply acknowledging the pain
and sadness they are experiencing can go a long way in making them feel
understood and supported.
• Trust your gut. If your teen claims nothing is wrong but has no
explanation for what is causing the depressed or anxious behavior, you
should trust your instincts. If your teen won’t open up to you, consider
turning to a trusted third party: a school counselor, pediatrician, or
mental health professional. The important thing is to get them talking to
someone.
(helpguide.org)
Helping Your Teen
(continued)
• Set aside time each day to talk face-to-face
with your teen
• Encourage your teen to spend time with
friends
• Learn about the mood-boosting benefits of
omega-3 fats
• Encourage plenty of sleep for your teen
• Get your teen active for at least an hour a day
(helpguide.org)
Helping You and Your Family
• Don’t bottle up your emotions. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed,
frustrated, helpless, or angry. Reach out to friends, join a support group,
or see a therapist of your own. Talking about how you’re feeling will help
defuse the intensity.
• Look after your health. The stress of your teen’s depression can affect
your own moods and emotions, so support your health and well-being by
eating right, getting enough sleep, and making time for things you enjoy.
• Be open with the family. Don’t tiptoe around the issue of teen
depression in an attempt to “protect” the other children. Kids know
when something is wrong. When left in the dark, their imaginations will
often jump to far worse conclusions. Be open about what is going on and
invite your children to ask questions and share their feelings.
• Remember the siblings. Depression in one child can cause stress or
anxiety in other family members, so make sure “healthy” children are
not ignored. Siblings may need special individual attention or
professional help of their own to handle their feelings about the
situation.
• Avoid the blame game. It can be easy to blame yourself or another
family member for your teen’s depression, but it only adds to an already
stressful situation. Furthermore, depression is normally caused by a
number of factors, so it’s unlikely—except in the case of abuse or
neglect—that any loved one is “responsible.”
(helpguide.org)
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PAM MARTIN
HILARY SIMON
AISD Program Specialist
SEL Specialist
Family T.A.L.K.
Creating a Safe Space for Family
Communication
From the Parent Toolkit
T- Timing
A. - Assertive Communication:
L-Location
K - Know What to Say
How to Talk About Loss
Grief drives men into habits of serious
reflection, sharpens the understanding,
and softens the heart. – John Adams
Supporting Grieving Friends
• Be Present
• Listen
• Reach Out
• Acknowledge the Right to Grieve
• Comfort with a Touch
Helping a Grieving Child
Tips and Tools
Do Not:
• Tell others how they should think or feel
• Avoid reaching out to others because of own
discomfort
• Give incomplete explanations that will lead to
confusion
• Act as if nothing happened or hide feelings
Tips and Tools
(continued)
Do:
• Be honest
• Use the deceased’s name when talking about them
• Expect volatile reactions; view the loss/incident from their
perspective
• Allow them to express emotions and/or thoughts freely
• Reassure that anger, sadness, guilt, fear, and shock are
normal feelings
• Say “I don’t know” when appropriate
• Alllow them to refrain from verbally expressing feelings
• Let them ask questions and give honest, short answers
• Allow them time to mourn or grieve
• Be patient
Helping Your Grieving Child
Reassurance
Reassure your child he/she did nothing to cause the loss. Very
often children make illogical connections between their
thoughts and actions and the loss outcome
Structure
Keep structure in the daily life of your child. The child’s ability
to predict his/her life happenings day-to-day helps decrease
anxiety and feelings of loss of control.
Support
Help your child clarify feelings brought about by having lost a
sense of groundedness as a result of the loss of the
assumptions each person has about how life works; how
relationships work, how the world works.
Choices
Offer choices as often as possible. Youth who have experienced
loss of any kind may feel a sense of loss of control, so an
opportunity to make personal choices may decrease some of
the anxiety they are experiencing.
4 Things Parents Can Do when
Your Child is in Crisis
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• Talk with your
pediatrician
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• Get a referral to a mental
health professional
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• Work with the school
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• Connect with other
families
Resources
• Anxiety BC
https://www.anxietybc.com/
• Mental, Social, and Emotional Health Guide:
http://www.helpguide.org/
• National Alliance on Mental Illness
www.nami.org
• Mindshift App
https://www.anxietybc.com/resources/mindshift-app
• The Austin Center for Grief and Loss
www.austingrief.org