Transcript Brushstrokes with safari pics revised 2016-2017

The Five Brushstrokes
Compare the following images, the first written by a high
school student…
• It was winter.
Everything was frozen
and white. Snow had
fallen from the sky for
days. The weather was
horrible.
The second by well-known novelist Brian Jacques…
• Mossflower lay deep in the grip of midwinter
beneath a sky of leaden gray that showed tinges
of scarlet and orange on the horizon. A cold
mantle of snow draped the landscape, covering
the flatlands to the west. Snow was
everywhere, filling the ditches, drifting high
against the hedgerows, making paths invisible,
smoothing the contours of earth in its white
embrace.
• Participles:
– Verb ending in –ing or –ed that acts as
an adjective.
The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.
Hissing, slithering, and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes
attacked their prey.
• Absolute:
– a noun and a participle (noun + participle) used
to modify another noun (usually found at the
beginning of the sentence)
The squirrel was on the
bench.
Arms stretching, the
squirrel was on the bench.
• Appositives:
– A noun or noun phrase that renames the
preceding noun.
The lion cub waited patiently for his food.
The lion cub, a future king, waited patiently for his food.
• Adjectives out of order:
– Placing adjectives in a different order (after the
noun).
The large, red-eyed, angry moose charged the intruder.
The large moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the
intruder.
• Active Action Verbs
– Eliminate the passive voice (make sure the
subject is PERFORMING the action).
Passive: The runaway horse was ridden into town by a
rancher.
Active: The rancher rode the runaway horse into town.