Transcript Writing Strong Sentences

Grade 8:
Lesson 2
Copyright © 2015 by Write Score LLC
Learning Objective and Goals:
Students will be able to write strong
sentences by:
• implementing formal tone
• including relevant details and strong verbs
• using active voice
• avoiding misplaced modifiers
Making Subjects Clear:
Topic
Point
(Subject)
(Verb)
There was a dog barking at the gate.
The dog barked at the gate.
Formal Tone:
Most academic writing (meaning writing done in school like
essays, reports, and research papers) uses formal tone.
Objective: This means information is presented
logically. Emotions and opinions are limited. Main
points are stated confidently. Arguments are
supported fully.
Third person: This means the writer avoids using
I or you.
Slang-free: This means the writer doesn’t use
slang, #TXTTLK, abbreviations, or contractions.
Using Formal Tone:
Informal
I love gazing at the
stars! Looking out at
the night sky is totally
amazing to me. I think
astronomers have the
most awesome job in
the whole world, but if
you wanna be an
astronomer it takes a
lot of hard work.
Formal
Stargazing is relaxing
and interesting. The
night sky offers a
variety of unique sights.
Astronomers are
privileged to study the
sky for a living.
Becoming an
astronomer takes
dedication and hard
work.
Using Active Voice:
Active voice means that the subject does the action in
the sentence.
Passive voice means that the noun that would be the
object of the action in the sentence appears as the
subject of the sentence.
The dog was washed by his owner.
The owner washed his dog.
ACTIVE
PASSIVE
Using Strong Verbs:
Weak Verbs
Strong Verbs
am
was
been
are
were
is
pounce
bellow
sidle
heave
ponder
devour
explode
savor
amble
Relevant Details:
The dog barked.
What did the dog look like?
When did the dog bark?
How did the bark sound?
Where was the dog?
Why did the dog bark?
Adding Relevant Details:
The shaggy dog barked wildly at the back
gate hoping to scare away the stranger.
ADJECTIVES
ADVERBS
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES
PHRASES
Economy of Language:
The shaggy, black and white-spotted dog
barked wildly and ferociously through the
short, brownish yellow back gate that
had been broken down for years hoping
desperately to scare away the meanlooking stranger who was carrying a
black bag with green and yellow stripes.
Adding Modifiers:
Modifiers: words, phrases, or clauses that add
details to sentences.
Modifiers should be placed close to the words they
describe. When a modifier is not located near the
word(s) it modifies it can create confusion for the reader.
For Example:
Beautifully decorated with blue and white flowers,
Emily baked a cake.
Emily decorated a cake beautifully with blue and white
flowers.
With a Partner:
• Read and discuss each sentence.
• Write each sentence correctly as indicated in
parenthesis.
1. There was an accident on Main Street. (clear subject)
2. I believe that more people should ride bikes to work.
(formal tone: 3rd person)
3. The door was blown open by a gust of wind. (active
voice)
4. Fruits and vegetables are good for the body’s
immune system. (strong verb)
With a Partner:
• Read and discuss each sentence.
• Write each sentence correctly as indicated in
parenthesis.
5. A boy cried. (relevant details)
6. Being the Spanish rather than the English version,
Jack left the book on a shelf. (relocate modifier)
On Your Own!
• Read the passage.
• Complete the written response.
• Write strong sentences using
the rubric as a guide.
Strong Sentences Checklist:
Sentence Construction
Evident
Not Evident
Sentence Construction
Evident
Not Evident
Complete Sentence
Clear subject
Active Voice
Properly placed
modifiers
Tone
Objective
3rd Person
Slang free
Details
Relevant
Strong verbs
Read the Passage:
After serving with NASA for nearly four decades, the
agency’s YO-3A, an unusual airplane designed to fly silently,
recently departed Armstrong Flight Research Center for its
new home at the Vietnam Helicopters Museum (VHM) in
Concord, California. One of only 11 aircraft of this type built
in 1969, the “Quiet Star” had a colorful history.
In response to Army requirements for a covert,
nighttime battlefield observation platform, designers
extensively modified a glider, adding a muffled engine and
bubble canopy. Pilot and observer were seated in tandem,
with the observer in the forward position. The engine was
equipped with a belt-drive system to turn the propeller
more slowly and quietly than a conventional gear-reduction
system. A special muffler reduced engine exhaust noise.
Additionally, the YO-3A had extra insulation and sealed
valve covers to reduce noise from internal equipment. The
Quiet Star was equipped with a custom-made wooden
propeller that had a wider chord than a conventional
propeller for a similarly sized airplane. Polished and
lacquered, the three-bladed prop was practically a work-ofart.
Nine YO-3A aircraft saw service in Vietnam where
they were flown in concert with Army attack helicopters
during dangerous nighttime combat missions. Amazingly,
during 14 months of operation in 1970 and 1971, none
were shot down or damaged by enemy fire. Because they
have the resources to maintain and fly the airplane, the
VHM will be a great home for the YO-3A.
References: http://www.nasa.gov/centers/armstrong/Features/yo3a_departs_armstrong.html
Writing Prompt:
Explain the features that made the YO-3A an
“unusual airplane.” Use textual evidence to
support your answer.