Transcript File

MONDAY, 9.26 AND
TUESDAY 9.27
Have your binder on your
desk please.
TODAY’S AGENDA
o
o
o
o
o
Sentence Patterns
Diction examples in “Shame”
Memoir Assignment
Writing Snapshot
Example openings/Evaluate opening
of “Shame”
o Brainstorm Handout
LOOKING FORWARD…
Brainstorm Handout Due
Wednesday, 9.28 (A) and Thursday,
9.29 (B)
DO NOW: SENTENCE PATTERNS
To review, we have learned that all sentences have a subject and a predicate.
The predicate contains a verb that is either a linking verb or an action verb.
You will want to record these definitions in your RAW Book:
Action Verb – a word that expresses action(ex: jump, run, climb)
Linking Verb –link the subject to a noun or adjective in the predicate.
(Ex: am, is, are, was, were, be, been, smell, seem, grow, become, appear,
sound, taste, feel, get, remain, stay, look, turn).
ACTION VS LINKING VERBS
Action Verbs can be followed by a :
Direct Object (receives the action of the verb)
 Ex: The boy kicked his skateboard.
Indirect Object (indirectly receives the action)
 Ex: Mrs. Ault showed us pictures of her sons.
Linking Verbs can be followed by:
Predicate Adjectives (descriptive word located in the predicate)
 The boy felt confident.
Predicate Nouns (person, place, thing located in the predicate)
 Mrs. Ault is a teacher.
DO NOW: SENTENCE PATTERNS
Judy ran.
 (Subject + Action Verb [Predicate])
Josh ate carrot sticks.
 (Subject + Action Verb + Direct Object)
Clowns give audiences
enjoyment.
 (Subject +Action Verb + Indirect
Object + Direct Object)
The clown looks funny.
 (Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate
Adjective)
Ms. Maggie-Moo is a clown.
 (Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate
Noun)
In your page, write a sentence for
each pattern below.
 Subject + Action Verb
 Subject + Action Verb + Direct Object
 Subject +Action Verb + Indirect
Object + Direct Object
 Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate
Adjective
 Subject + Linking Verb + Predicate
Noun
GRAMMAR QUIZ NEXT WEEK
20 Multiple Choice Questions asking you to identify:
o the simple subject and predicate in a sentence
o the complete subject and complete predicate in a sentence
o the sentence pattern used in example sentences
10 Written Questions asking you to:
o
Identify the simple subject in a sentence
o
identify the simple predicate in a sentence
o
write sentences using provided sentence patterns
Quiz Date: Tuesday, October 4 (B Day)
Thursday, October 5 (A Day)
Level II Grade on the 2nd six weeks
DO NOW: WRITING SNAPSHOT
On a clean page in your binder, write and complete the
following sentence stem . . .
The most important person in my life is . . .
Now many students would begin an essay with that
statement and would bore their reader from sentence
one. Instead, write a snapshot of that person and END
your response with the sentence stem.
SAMPLE SNAPSHOT MOMENT
My favorite day of
the week is . .
What details did he
provide to provide a
‘snapshot’ of his
favorite day?
Favorite Day
NOW BACK TO YOUR IMPORTANT PERSON . . .
Think about:
how you would physically describe the person
(hair color, complexion, body type, smells
associated with the person, the sound of the
person’s voice, etc.)
how you would describe the person’s
demeanor and personality.
Now finish your thought with the sentence
“The most important person in my life is . . . “
BOLD BEGINNINGS…
First sentence of a memoir…
One Sunny day I went to the beach and saw a
mermaid.
 What is lacking here?
 How could it be improved?
INSTEAD OF “ONE SUNNY DAY I WENT TO
THE BEACH AND SAW A MERMAID,” TRY:
ACTION
I dove into the ocean, kicked my feet in the cool water, stood up,
and wiped the water from my face. I paused. Something strange
near the rock caught my eye.
DIALOGUE
“What a great day for the beach!” I yelled as I frolicked in the
waves.
A THOUGHT, A
QUESTION, OR FEELING
If only I could swim out to that sandlot, I thought. There’s
something very strange out there. Something I’ve never seen here
at the beach before.
(If you were at the beach,
what might you be thinking
or feeling?)
A SOUND EFFECT
Kersplash! The waves crashed over me as I stood staring at the
strange sight out on the jetty.
INSTEAD OF “THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON
IN MY LIFE IS ---” TRY STARTING WITH…
ACTION
DIALOGUE
A THOUGHT, A
QUESTION, OR
FEELING
A SOUND EFFECT
FIRST SENTENCES
Read all of the following sentences and choose
two that seem most effective.
What do you think the narrative is about based
on this sentence?
Why is it engaging to the reader?
FIRST SENTENCES FROM STUDENT
SAMPLES . . .
1. I awoke to someone shaking my arm.
2. Here I am in the god-awful green and white
daisy print shorts; butterflies swarm in my stomach.
3. The glare on the floor in the entryway is
blinding.
4. I can still feel my cold and sweaty hand
clutched in my mom’s hand with no intention of
letting go.
5. The constant squeaking from my shoes definitely
didn’t let me forget the walk.
SETTING DETAILS
 Consider an opener that walks me to the setting. Start outside the
setting and walk (or drive) me to the place. What will I see?
“From the center of downtown Tucson the ground slopes gently
away to Main Street, drops a few feet, and then rolls to the
banks of the Santa Cruz River. Here lies the section of the city
known as El Hoyo.”
From the vicinity of the stairwell a faint cry of agony can be
heard. It gains volume and intensity as you shove past the confused
freshmen to approach the third floor. Once you reach the top of
the stairs, where students wander aimlessly, the scream is
unbearable as you arrive at room 321. Here you find bodies
tortured, students groaning in despair, for this is the section of the
school known as English Hell.
CHARACTER DESCRIPTION:
PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS
Try imitating the sample:
“Her walk is slow, hesitant, leaning slightly forward from
the waist. Her hands, swollen and misshapen with
arthritis, have traceries of blue veins across the back.
They are never still.”
Her voice is harsh, ugly, cutting into her students. Her
throat, swollen and misshapen with overuse, tires from the
frequent yelling. It is forever scarred.
OPENING STRATEGIES:
STARTLING STATEMENT
 Try beginning with a short, intriguing statement that
needs further explanation.
years.”
“I don’t talk on Sundays. I haven’t in more than three
“I have a gun, a .38 caliber that holds five bullets. It is
black with a brown handle and it stays by my bed. I don’t
want a gun. I don’t even like guns. But it seems I need one.”
 Try your own example. Think of a surprising statement
related to your narrative.
EVALUATION OF “SHAME” – OPENINGS
Go back to the text of “Shame” and reread the opening paragraph.
 Highlight the first two sentences in the first paragraph.
 In the margin, jot down notes about the effectiveness of these
sentences as a way to begin the narrative.
NARRATIVE STRUCTURE
Chronological Order or Flashback?
 Do you want to start with the beginning of the incident
and slowly work your way forward to present day?
 When I was fourteen…
 Do you want to begin with a description of the situation
now and flashback to the significant moment?
 I look at her now as she…. But our relationship wasn’t
always so wonderful….
NARRATIVE STRUCTURE OF “SHAME”
Highlight the places that indicate where the
author is using flashback or another indication in
a shift in time.
 In the margin next to your highlighted marks, write a note
explaining the impact of that choice.
WEDNESDAY, 9.28 AND
THURSDAY, 9.29
Please have your copy of
“Shame” and a highlighter
on your desk.
TODAY’S AGENDA
o Stamp Brainstorm Handout
o Continue Memoir Skills through “Shame”
DIALOGUE
o Including dialogue in your memoir can be an
effective way to provide insight into who you are
and how you speak.
o Consider incorporating even a small amount of
dialogue somewhere in your memoir.
o To effectively use dialogue you’ve got to know
how to correctly punctuate it. Let’s practice now.
o Add all the necessary punctuation to the
conversation I’ve given you.
DIALOGUE REMINDERS
 Each new speaker is given a new line (indented) in your essay.
 Commas always go before the dialogue tag (“------,” he said.) OR
after the dialogue tag (She screamed, “---------!”
 Use exclamation marks sparingly; consider the way the sentence
would be read out loud before punctuating it.
USE OF DIALOGUE IN “SHAME”
“Shame” uses dialogue in only a few places but it is impactful
nonetheless.
 Highlight at least three examples of dialogue in “Shame.”
 In the margin, write a note about the impact/effectiveness of the
dialogue you chose.
USE OF DETAILS IN NARRATIVE WRITING
Complete the revision steps for the paragraph provided.
A man walked into the building. He looked around. The
room was dark. It was hard to see. Another man came in.
He walked to the window and looked out. His steps made
a noise. The first man turned around. He thought someone
else was in the room. He saw nothing. His heart beat fast.
USE OF DETAILS IN “SHAME”
Highlight at least three details that Gregory included in “Shame.”
 Make a marginal note explaining what each detail adds to the
narrative.
SENTENCE STRUCTURE
I am going give you three numbers.
 On a clean sheet of paper using your syntax handout, write an
original sentence following the sentence structure of your assigned
numbers.
Thanks in advance for sharing your creations!
SENTENCE STRUCTURE IN “SHAME”
Highlight two sentences that follow an interesting structure.
 Make a marginal note next to each sentence that explains why the
structure is interesting.
WRITING TIPS . . .
It’s a brutal world.
When you don’t use correct grammar and punctuation, it’s
difficult to take you seriously.
Correct the following mistakes on a clean page in your spiral
however you see fit.
FIX ‘EM!
1.
Mrs. Ault went to the grocery store, she needed to buy a
cane for support.
2.
Mrs. Ault works at austin high school and wants her
students to learn to capitalize stuff and make it sound
good and stuff.
3.
I think that learning new things is a good way to
challenge yourself i like to learn and be the bestest
student eva!!!!!!
OPTIONAL STYLE TECHNIQUES
Dialogue
Creative and meaningful sentence structures (like one word sentences)
Foreshadowing (“I knew the day was only going to get worse when I
saw her staring at me.”)
Flashback
Metaphor or simile (think “Tomatoes and Onions”)
A relevant foreign language or slang
FINAL DRAFT CHECKLIST
Write in first person (“I”) Avoid “you”!
Write in multiple paragraphs
Begin in an interesting way
Use imagery to “show” rather than “tell”
Develop the memory to include beginning, middle, and end
Focus on one event
Develop the memory to show how the experience impacted you
Show the emotions of the experience