Transcript Introduction to Investigative Report Writing

Introduction to Investigative
Report Writing
POST Learning Domain 18
Lt. Terrence Tingle
Riverside County Sheriff’s Department
Retired
Homework
• Read POST Learning Domain 18 workbook
• Read handout, Devallis Rutledge, “It’s Easy
to Write Better Police Reports.”
Present Tense/ Past Tense
• Present tense: I run after the suspect, and
take him into custody after I chase him
about two blocks.
• Past tense: I ran after the suspect, and took
him into custody after I chased him about
two blocks.
Third Person/ First Person
• Third person (old style): Writer spoke
with the victim.
• First person (what we use now): I spoke
with the victim.
• Third person (old style): The undersigned
telephoned Mr. Jones.
• First person: I telephoned Mr. Jones.
Passive Voice/ Active Voice
• Passive voice: The walking was done by
me.
• Active voice: I walked.
Ernest Hemingway:
“In order to be a great writer a person must
have a built in, shockproof crap detector.”
Exercise
• Word simplification exercise.
• Students to complete the exercise
individually.
• Class review.
Exercise
• Sentence tightening exercise.
• Students to complete the exercise
individually.
• Class review.
NOUN
• The name of a person, place, or thing.
• Names: William, Kathleen, Elizabeth.
• Titles: Police officer, deputy sheriff,
custodian.
• Places: Riverside; Kansas; London.
• Things: Building, telephone, paper,
condom, and many more.
Nouns Showing Possession
• Mr. Smith’s wallet.
• Mr. Porras’ purse.
Verbs
• Show action: The suspect ran.
• Show process: The drunk’s breath smelled
of a beer.
• Show existence: She is a good officer
.(Forms of the verb “to be.”)
Some Examples of verbs and
helping verbs
• Have gone
• Went
• Have seen
• Saw
• Has or have been
• Was
Exercise
• Passive to active voice exercise.
• Students to complete the exercise
individually.
• Class review.
Some Pronouns
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
He
She
It
Who
They
You
We
Some Examples of Possessive
Pronouns
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
His
Hers
Its (NO APOSTROPHE!)
Yours
Theirs
My
Mine
Problems with Pronouns
• THEIR (plural possessive)- NOT “they’re”
and not “there.”
• YOUR (singular possessive) –NOT
“you’re.”
• ITS (singular possessive)- NOT “IT’S”
Avoid “Myself”
• Try to use “I” or “me.”
• “The car belongs to me” instead of “The car
belongs to myself.”
Myself
• Wrong: Myself and Deputy Smith stopped
the suspect.
• Right: Deputy Smith and I stopped the
suspect.
• Wrong: Myself, Deputy Zamora, and
Investigator Munoz testified in the case.
• Right: Deputy Zamora, Investigator
Munoz, and I testified in the case.
Is this correct?
• The car belongs to Kim and I.
Corrected
• The car belongs to Kim and me.
• To see if you use “I” or “me,” eliminate the
other person’s name and the word “and.”
You would not say, “The car belongs to I.”
Is this correct?
• Kim and me used the power saw on the
burglar.
Corrected
• You wouldn’t say or write, “Me used the
power saw on the burglar”….so it’s:
• Kim and I used the power saw on the
burglar.
Pronoun Ambiguity
• Ron told Bob that he should take the car.
Corrected
• Ron told Bob that Bob should take the car.
• Ron told Bob that he (Bob) should take the
car.
Re-write this sentence so there is
only one possible meaning.
Ms. Ross and Ms. Montgomery both
admitted later that they drank a great deal
before she drove home.
Re-write this sentence so there is
only one possible meaning.
When I arrived, I saw Smith, Johnson, and
Jones fighting and before I could stop the
fight, I saw him punch Johnson in the face.
Comma- pause in sentence
As I got out of the car to assist the officer
and his canine partner, I stepped in dog
feces.
Joining clauses:
Bill walked to the store, and I ran there.
Comma- transition words
However, I believed Smith was lying.
“Yeah, I hit the guy.” (Note: it’s “yeah” and
not “ya.”)
Therefore, based on the prosecution’s
evidence I find the bastard guilty.
Comma- substitute for
parenthesis
Deputy Smith, who has had many on duty
collisions, crashed his patrol car last night.
Deputy Luna, who likes staying busy,
requested a transfer to Moreno Valley.
Commas- dates
>April 3, 20014
>Saturday, July 4, 2015
> Monday, 5-16-14
Commas- lists
Manny, Moe, and Jack.
Manny, Moe and Jack.
(Both styles are okay.)
I put gas in my patrol car, parked the car,
unloaded the shotgun, and turned of the
computer. (Last comma optional.)
Commas- places
Riverside, California
Cabazon, California
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Bumfuc, Egypt
Commas- Addresses
1234 Main St., Riverside, California
18671 Double Wide Trail, Cabazon, Ca.
Commas- quote introduction
Smith said, “I took the money because I’m
poor.”
I asked Jones if he punched Doe, and Jones
replied, “Yeah, I smacked him, but I was
really pissed off.”
Comma- classic police report
narrative introduction
On Sunday, 5-11-14, at 4:15 AM, RSD
dispatch assigned me to investigate a report
of a disturbance at 5468 Meadow Lane,
Pedley. I arrived at 4:21 AM. –OROn Sunday, 5-11-14 at 4:15 AM, RSD
dispatch assigned me to investigate a report
of a disturbance at 5468 Meadow Lane,
Pedley. I arrived at 4:21 AM.
Quotes
Any words in quote marks MUST be the
exact words uttered.
(There’s actually one exception to that, but
we’re not going to cover it.)
Anybody see anything wrong
here?
I fought Wilson to get him into custody.
Wilson later apologized and added, “He just
gets angry with cops.”
Question Marks
• For police reports, only use when quoting
someone….and remember, if it is in quote
marks, it has to be the exact words the
person you are quoting spoke.
Is this correct?
• I asked Mr. Williams if he hit the victim?
Correct Use of Question Mark
• I asked Mr. Williams if he hit the victim.
OR
• I asked Mr. Williams, “Did you hit the
victim?”
Colons (not the body part)
Smith said: “I took the beer.”
I am planning a special weekend and will
need some supplies: whips, chains, a gag,
and an ill-fitting dog collar.
Use of Parenthesis to Define
• Deputy Smith is a member of SEB (special
enforcement bureau).
• The inmate said he had been housed in
inmate housing area (“tank”) three. OR
• The inmate said he had been housed in
“tank” (inmate housing area) three.
That and Had
Instead of:
Smith said that he had punched Johnson.
How about?
Smith said he punched Johnson.
“Began” “Started”
Instead of:
Smith said Porras began punching Ramsey.
How about?
Smith said Porras punched Ramsey.
Instead of:
Walker started insulting Jones.
How about?
Walker insulted Jones.
Another unnecessary (“hidden”)
verb
Instead of
I proceeded to read Williams the admonition.
How about?
I read Williams the admonition.
Unnecessary (“hidden”) verb
Instead of:
Based on my investigation, I believe Jones did
rob the store.
How about?
Based on my investigation, I believe Jones
robbed the store.
Wordiness
Instead of:
I made the comment.
How about?
I said.
Misplaced modifier
Evidence listing:
Black man’s wallet
Corrected
Man’s black wallet.
Misplaced modifier
• The victim told me he fell from the cliff in
the interview room.
• “…in the interview room” refers to the
victim, not the cliff, so that phrase needs to
be moved to the noun (“victim”) it
modifies.
Corrected
• The victim in the interview room told me he
fell from the cliff.
“I asked, he said.”
I asked Smith if someone hit him. Smith
said “yes” someone hit him. I asked Smith
who hit him. Smith said Robert Jones hit
him. I asked Smith how many times Jones
hit him. Smith said Jones hit him three
times.
Better
Smith told me Robert Jones hit him three
times.
Simplify this
I asked Doe what happened. Doe told me
his bicycle had been stolen. I asked him
who stole his bicycle. Doe said he didn’t
know. I asked Doe when his bicycle had
been taken. Doe told me his bicycle had
been taken between 3:00 PM and 5:00 PM.
Better
Doe told me an unknown person or persons
took his bicycle between 3:00 PM and 5:00
PM.
Concrete words
Is this adequate for a police report without
further information? (Hint: no, it’s not.)
Victim Smith said the suspect had a gun.
Class activity: Turn this vague, weak
statement into something concrete.
Exercise
• Pronouns, misplaced modifiers, wordiness
and hidden verbs exercise.
• Students to complete the exercise
individually.
• Class review.
Exercise
• Paragraph clean-up exercise.
• Students to complete the exercise
individually.
• One lucky class member to put his/her
composition on board.
• Other students ridicule this student.
Traditional Paragraph
Police departments must consider certain factors
when choosing patrol cars. An agency serving an
urban area might consider a smaller car that is
maneuverable on narrow city streets. The small
car’s short range is overcome by the many gas
stations in most urban areas. A department serving
a rural area might consider a larger car that holds
more equipment and has greater range.
Departments serving both urban and rural areas
might consider a mixed fleet.
Chronological paragraph 1
On Monday, 6-15-12, I was on duty, in uniform,
and driving marked RSD patrol car 11-058. At
9:15 AM I was driving eastbound Highway 111,
west of San Pablo Drive, when I saw a blue Honda
sedan, California license plate 123ABC, also
eastbound Highway 111, fail to stop for the red
signal at San Pablo Drive in violation of California
Vehicle Code section 21453. The car was in the
number one lane.
Paragraph 2
I turned on the patrol car’s overhead emergency lights and
the car’s siren, drove through the intersection at San Pablo
Drive and got behind the blue Honda. The Honda was still
eastbound Highway 111, traveling about 45 miles per hour.
The Honda’s driver, the only person I saw in the car, did
not pull over after about a quarter mile of travel so I
sounded the patrol car’s electronic horn and kept the siren
sounding as well. The driver of the Honda still did not pull
over……
(report continues)
Paragraphing Exercise
• Students to put sentences in paragraph
order.
• Students to complete the exercise
individually.
• Individual class members to read his/her
completed paragraph.
Paragraphing Exercise II
• Students to put sentences in paragraph order.
• Students to consider making two paragraphs out of
these sentences.
• Students to complete the exercise individually.
• Students to write out completed paragraph at
bottom of the handout page.
• Individual class member to read his/her completed
paragraph.
In Order
I arrived at Portola Avenue and Grapevine Street about three minutes
after Officer Smith. I saw Officer Smith speaking to two handcuffed
men who were seated on the curb at the southwest corner of the
intersection. Officer Smith explained to me he was arresting the two
men for public intoxication and asked me to assist. I had one of the
men, Mark Jones, stand as I told him I was going to search him
because he (Jones) was under arrest for public intoxication. I asked
Jones if he had anything that might cause me concern on his person
and he replied, “no.”
I conducted a cursory pat-down search of Jones and felt a mediumsized, hard object as I was touching his left rear pant pocket. The
object felt like a handgun to me. I reached in the pocket and felt the
object and became certain the item was a handgun or replica handgun.
I removed the object and saw that it was a real semi-automatic pistol
(described above as “evidence”).
Field notes
• 21453 VC/FTY; 111/ San Pablo/ unit 11058
• Blu Hnda 123ABC e/b 111 ran red at SP/
111 #1 lane
• 6/15/12 @ 0915-me: e/b 111@ San Pablo.
• Me; behind sus/overheads w/ siren; FTY for
¼ mile; air horn/siren….
Field Notes to Chronology
• 6/15/12, unit 11058, e/b 111 west of San Pablo.
• Blu Honda 123ABC same DOT and in front of me
#1 lane/ 21453 111/SP
• Code through intersection and behind car; driversole occ.
• FTY for about ¼ mile so hit air horn/ kept siren
Police Report
On Monday, 6-15-12, I was on duty, in uniform,
and driving marked RSD patrol car 11-058. At
9:15 AM I was driving eastbound Highway 111,
west of San Pablo Drive, when I saw a blue Honda
sedan, California license plate 123ABC, also
eastbound Highway 111, fail to stop for the red
signal at San Pablo Drive in violation of California
Vehicle Code section 21453. The car was in the
number one lane.
Paragraph Two
I turned on the patrol car’s overhead emergency lights and
the car’s siren, drove through the intersection at San Pablo
Drive and got behind the blue Honda. The Honda was still
eastbound Highway 111, traveling about 45 miles per hour.
The Honda’s driver, the only person I saw in the car, did
not pull over after about a quarter mile of travel so I
sounded the patrol car’s electronic horn and kept the siren
sounding as well. The driver of the Honda still did not pull
over……
(report continues)
Sentences/Paragraph
• Change each entry to a sentence appropriate
to a report.
• Use first person, active voice.
• After creating the sentences, create a
paragraph.
• I will chose students to place their
composition on the board.
Theft
• Theft frame: 5/12/11@1315 and
5/13/11@0120
• Neighbors talked to by victim- no one saw
or heard anything.
• Bicycle unlocked; east side of house, laying
on lawn.
• No footprints seen by reporting officer
[you].
Exercise
• You have stopped a car for a vehicle code
infraction.
• You find what appears to be a beer in the
vehicle and arrest the driver who is the car’s
only occupant.
• Compose a paragraph from the following
field notes of the stop.
Open Container
• Sus Smith, “Yeah, that’s my beer.” while
pointing to container
• Opn con- ½ filled- “Bud Light” 12 oz can,
cup holder, cntr frnt
• Smelled like beer; dumped gutter- gldn,
bubbles, foam.
Witness Statement
Lisa Wilson interview; interviewed away
from others. said she’s v Smith’s friend;
does not know sus. Wilson said sus struck
vic once with his right fist on v’s left ear
while yelling, “Asshole.” Per Wilson
vic/sus arguing over parking space; v made
no aggressive move or statements; never hit
sus. Wit poss ID by pointing to sus.
Theft- one version
Smith told me he left his bicycle unlocked and
laying on the lawn on the east side of his house
about 1:15 PM on Monday, 5/12/12. He told me
he discovered the bicycle missing about 1:20 AM
on Tuesday, 5/13/12. Smith said he didn’t hear or
see anything he considered suspicious during this
time, nor did the several neighbors he spoke with.
I checked the area for footprints the suspect or
suspects may have left, but found none.
Open Container- one version
I shone my flashlight on a can in the car’s front center
console. Without me asking, Smith said, “Yeah, that’s my
beer” and handed me the can. As Dep. Jones spoke with
Smith, I examined the can Smith handed me and the can’s
contents. The can was labeled “Bud Light” and “12
ounces.” The can appeared about half-filled with a
substance that smelled like beer to me. As department rules
do not allow the collection of alcoholic beverages for
evidence storage in misdemeanor cases, I poured the
contents of the can in the gutter. I saw the fluid was
golden, had bubbles, and foamed as it hit the ground.
Witness statement- one version
I spoke with Lisa Wilson during the initial investigation
and out of hearing range of others at the scene. Ms. Wilson
said she is victim Smith’s friend, does not know the
suspect, and saw the battery. Wilson told me the suspect
and Smith were arguing over a parking space when the
suspect, using his right fist, hit Smith once on Smith’s left
ear while yelling, “Asshole.” According to Wilson, Smith
made no aggressive move or statement. I asked Wilson if
she could identify the suspect and she pointed directly to
the person Dep. Jones had detained.
Witness statement- another
version
I spoke with Lisa Wilson during the initial investigation and out of
hearing range of others at the scene. Ms. Wilson told me the following:
She is victim Smith’s friend, does not know the suspect, and saw the
battery. The suspect and Smith were arguing over a parking space
when the suspect, using his right fist, hit Smith once on Smith’s left ear
while yelling, “Asshole.” Smith made no aggressive move or
statement.
I asked Wilson if she could identify the suspect and she pointed
directly to the person Dep. Jones had detained.
Quiz
• Each student to complete quiz individually.
• We’ll review in class.
• Students to turn in the quiz.
Choppy Sentences
• I am suspending investigation in this case. There are no
known witnesses to the incident. There is no suspect
identified. There is no retrievable physical evidence. The
victim does not want prosecution.
• Better: I am suspending this investigation because there are
no known witnesses, no suspect is identified, there is no
retrievable physical evidence, and the victim does not want
prosecution.
Use of Bullet Points
I am suspending investigation in this case:
>There are no known witnesses to the
incident.
>There is no suspect identified.
>There is no retrievable physical evidence.
>The victim does not want prosecution.
Bullet Points
I believe Robert Wilson stabbed John Doe several times in a deliberate attempt to
kill Doe. This belief is supported by:
>Wilson’s admission to the offense.
>Wilson’s detailed recounting of the incident.
>Wilson’s statements in which he said he wanted to kill Doe.
>The apparent blood Deputy Veck and I saw on Wilson’s hands and shirt.
>Witness statements.
>The life threatening nature of the wounds.
>The violence of the attack.
>Wilson’s belief that Doe was a “snitch.”
I am forwarding this case to the district attorney and requesting the DA charge
Robert Wilson with the attempted murder of John Doe
.
Run-on Sentence
I put a portion of the off-white powder in the California
Department of Justice (DOJ) test dish and added chemicals
from the DOJ test kit following the instructions in the kit,
and noticed an immediate, strong reaction to the
amphetamine test, and then I weighed the substance using
the station’s triple-beam scale, which showed the powder
weighed 2.3 grams.
• –Break the run-on sentence into several smaller sentences,
making the breaks at the appropriate conjunction
(conjunctions include the words: AND, OR, and BUT).
Corrected
• I put a portion of the white powder in the
Department of Justice (DOJ) test dish and
added chemicals from the DOJ test kit
following the instructions in the kit. I
noticed an immediate, strong reaction to the
amphetamine test. I weighed the substance
using the station’s triple-beam scale, which
showed the powder weighed 2.3 grams