Transcript Academic english iii

ACADEMIC ENGLISH III
Class 23
May 31, 2013
Today
Improving Writing Clarity
- Pronoun agreement and reference
- Nominalization
Read these sentences
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put
them in Tabasco sauce.
Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned
over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.
Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they
make the best boats.
After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.
Don’t worry if the stock market is down. They say that fluctuations
are natural and won’t hurt your long-term investments.
Read these sentences
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put
them in Tabasco sauce.
Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned
over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.
Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make
the best boats.
After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.
Don’t worry if the stock market is down. They say that fluctuations
are natural and won’t hurt your long-term investments.
Terms to keep in mind
Pronoun = a part of language that substitutes for nouns or
noun phrases.
i.e., it, she, he, they, mine, yours, we, them…
Antecedent = the word or phrase to which a pronoun refers.
i.e., Debbie told Andrew that she was sick.
Pronoun reference errors
When the antecedent in a sentence or paragraph is
unclear, the meaning of the sentence or paragraph can be
confusing.
This problem negatively affects writing clarity.
 Obviously, something you want to avoid!
Pronoun reference errors
Common unclear pronoun references:
1. More than one possible antecedent
i.e.,
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put
them in Tabasco sauce.
Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.
Pronoun reference errors
1. More than one possible antecedent
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some
parents put them in Tabasco sauce.
- The children or the thumbs?
Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.
- Who wasn’t going to get the job? Jack or Frank?
Pronoun reference errors
1. More than one possible antecedent
When the hotel staff mistakenly booked two wedding
parties at the same time, neither of the bride's
families would agree to be relocated. The situation was
embarrassing for them.
- Embarrassing for who? The hotel staff, the families, or
the brides?
Fixing pronoun reference errors
There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:
1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun.
Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.
 Jack told Frank that Frank wasn’t going to get the
job.
Fixing pronoun reference errors
There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:
2. Completely revise the sentence.
Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.
 Jack told Frank, “You aren’t going to get the job.”
Fixing pronoun reference errors
There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:
1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun.
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some
parents put them in Tabasco sauce.
 To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some
parents put their baby’s thumb in Tabasco sauce.
Fixing pronoun reference errors
There are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:
2. Completely revise the sentence.
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some
parents put them in Tabasco sauce.
 Some parents put their baby’s thumb in Tabasco sauce
to prevent thumb sucking.
Pronoun reference errors
Common unclear pronoun references:
2. The antecedent is only implied
i.e.,
One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a
mathematical formula into metric, causing the satellite to veer off its
orbit. This was a disaster for the team.
- The use of “this” is what caused the problem.
- Do not use “this” without a clarifying noun afterwards.
i.e., “This mistake was a disaster for the team.”
“This change of course was a disaster for the team.”
Pronoun reference errors
Common unclear pronoun references:
2. The antecedent is only implied
i.e.,
One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a
mathematical formula into metric, causing the satellite to veer off
its orbit. This was a disaster for the team.
One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a
mathematical formula into metric, causing the satellite to veer off
its orbit. This mistake was a disaster for the team.
Pronoun reference errors
I majored in banking, but I don’t want to work in one.
 I majored in banking, but I won’t want to work in a bank.
My brother never asks for directions, which really annoys me.
 My brother never asks for directions, a habit which really
annoys me.
In Tokyo they eat a lot of fish.
 People in Tokyo eat a lot of fish.
It says in the paper that the city council will approve the budget.
 The paper says that the city council will approve the budget.
Read these sentences
To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put
them in Tabasco sauce.
Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned
over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.
Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make
the best boats.
After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.
Don’t worry if the stock market is down. They say that fluctuations
are natural and won’t hurt your long-term investments.
Pronoun reference errors
1. When Frank accidentally walked into the ladies'
bathroom, they burst out laughing.
2. If the guests are finished with the appetizers, put them in
the refrigerator.
3. When I opened the doors of the pigeon cages, most
of them flew away.
4. It says in our English textbook that pronouns should refer
clearly to their antecedents.
Pronoun reference errors
5. At the company where I work, they don't allow smoking
even outside the building.
6. If the test is postponed until Monday, it will give more
time to study.
7. With my experience caring for my autistic younger
brother, it has prepared me for a job in Special Education.
8. There was a traffic accident at the intersection of Broad
St. and Seventh Avenue, which caused me to be late for
class.
Pronoun reference errors
10. Community service not only looks good on a resume; it
also gives you a sense of satisfaction.
Nominalization
Turning a verb into a noun.
- We implemented the plan successfully
- The implementation of the plan was successful.
Try to avoid this as much as possible.
Nominalization
The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.
The hope of the student is to earn good grades.
There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.
A ski trip should be planned.
Nominalization
Problems created by nominalization:
- Passive voice
- Unnecessary words
- loss of agent
- use of “be” verbs as main verb
- loss of clarity.
Revising Nominalization
Look for:
1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate  investigation)
2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main
verb.
3. The use of passive voice.
4. A missing agent.
Revising Nominalization
1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate  investigation)
- Locate verbs functioning as nouns and change them to
action words.
i.e.,
The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.
 The detective investigated the crime.
Revising Nominalization
2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a
main verb.
Replace simple “to be” verbs with more “action-oriented” verbs.
i.e.,
The hope of the student is to earn good grades.
 The student hopes to earn good grades.
Revising Nominalization
3. The use of passive voice.
- Switch to active voice.
i.e.,
There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.
 Heavy rains flooded the building.
Revising Nominalization
4. A missing agent.
Provide an agent by indicating who or what is doing the action
in the sentence.
i.e.,
A ski trip should be planned.
 Jim should plan our ski trip.
Revising Nominalization
1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of
our debate.
2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision.
3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.
4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.
Revising Nominalization
5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.
6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in
Morgan Hill.
7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.
8. It was expected that our collection of data would be
quick.
Revising Nominalization
9. The coroner did an examination of the body.
10. A demand must exist for clean energy