Transcript 12 Editing for Grammar Conventions

Editing for Grammar
Conventions
Phrase Fragments
Maimon, Peritz and Yancey, A Writer’s Resource – A Handbook
for Writing and Research. 2nd edition. Boston: McGraw-Hill
Taught by Dr. Sng Bee Bee • Singapore Bible College
Files in many languages for free download at BibleStudyDownloads.org
Sentence Fragments
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A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence
treated as if it were complete. It may begin with a
capital letter and end with a period, a question mark,
or an exclamation mark.
What is a sentence fragment?
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A sentence fragment does not have:
A complete verb
A subject
An independent clause
Fragments are inappropriate
for University assignments
Learn how to identify sentence
fragments
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Do you see a complete verb?
Do you see a subject?
Do you see only a dependent clause?
Do you see a complete verb?
A complete verb consists of a main verb and any
helping verbs needed to indicate tense, person, and
number. A group of related words without a
complete verb is a phrase fragment, not a sentence.
Fragment
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The ancient Mayas were among the first to develop
many Mathematical concepts. For example, the concept
of zero (no verb).
Sentence
The ancient Mayas were among the first to develop
many mathematical concepts. For example, they
developed the concept of zero. (verb present)
2. Do you see a subject?
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The subject is the who or what that a sentence
is about. A group of related words without a
subject is a phrase fragment, not a sentence.
Do you see a subject?
Fragment
The ancient Mayas were accomplished
mathematicians. Developed the concept of
zero, for example. (no subject)
Sentence
The ancient Mayas were accomplished
mathematicians. They developed the concept
of zero, for example.
Do you see only a dependent clause?
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An independent clause has a subject and a
complex verb and can stand on its own as a
sentence. A dependent or subordinate clause
also has a subject and complete verb, but it
begins with a subordinate word such as
although, because, since, that, unless, which
or while. Dependent clauses function within
sentences as modifiers or nouns but they
cannot stand as sentences on their own.
Do you see a dependent clause?
Fragment
The ancient Mayas deserve a place in the history of
mathematics. Because they were among the earliest
people to develop the concept of zero. (dependent
clause)
Sentence
The ancient Mayas deserve a place in the history of
mathematics because they were among the earliest
people to develop the concept of zero. (dependent
clause is a continuation of from previous sentence)
Learn how to edit sentence fragments
You can repair sentence fragments by editing
them in one of the two ways:
 Transform them into sentences.
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Many people feel threatened
by
They
globalization. Because think it will
undermine their cultural traditions.
Attach them to a nearby independent clause.
Many people feel
threatened by
because
globalization Because they think it will
undermine their cultural traditions.
Identify and Edit Fragments
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Rewrite a fragment as a sentence for emphasis
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The ambulance crew gave us tips on handling
They stressed
emergencies. Stressing
the importance of
staying calm.
Rewrite long fragments as separate sentences can
help keep your writing direct and concise.
Students with good time management
habits
On the other hand,
start studying early in the semester. Whereas
others, of the procrastinating kind, may do
anything to avoid getting to work.
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Identify and Edit Fragments
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Attaching a fragment to a related sentence can
highlight the relationship between
ideas.
even
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The Mayas built great cities. Even though
they lacked metal tools.
Watching for verbals. Verbals are words derived
from verbs such as putting or to put.
That summer, we had the time of our lives.
We fished
Fishing in the early morning hours, explored
splashed
splashing
in the lake after lunch, exploring
the woods before dinner, and playing played
Scrabble until it was time for bed. (all –ing verbals
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in fragments need to be changed to keep all the phrases parallel)
Identify and Edit Fragments
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Another way to fix the problem is to attach
the fragment to the part of the previous
sentence that it modifies.
That
summer, we had the time of our lives. ,
fishing
Fishing in the early morning hours,
splashing in the lake after lunch, exploring
the woods before dinner, and
playing Scrabble until it was
time for bed.
Watching for preposition fragments
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Phrase fragments can also begin with
prepositions such as as, at, by, far, from, in,
of, on or to. The easiest way is to attach it to
previous sentence.
Impressionists painters often depicted their
at
subjects in everyday situations. , At a
restaurant, perhaps, or by the seashore.
Watching for transitional phrases
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Transitional phrases such as as well as, as
compared with, except for, in addition to, in
contrast with, in spite of, or instead of.
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For the past sixty-five years, the growth in
consumer spending has been both steep
as
and steady. As compared with the growth in
gross domestic product, which fluctuated
significantly between 1929 and 1950.
Watching for words and phrases that
introduce examples
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Check phrases that begin with for example,
like, specifically or such as.
Elizabeth I of England faced many
dangers
as a princess. For example,
She fell
falling out of favor with her sister, Queen
was
May, and being imprisoned in the Tower
of London.
Watching for appositives
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An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that
renames a noun or pronoun.
In 1965, Lydon Johnson increased the number
a
of troops in Vietnam. A former French colony
in southeast Asia.
Correct these sentences
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Correct the following sentences by either
inserting verbs where verbs should be present
or transforming phrase fragments into
complete sentences.
Editing – Correct the following
sentences
began with
The war history from the early hand-to-hand combat on foot
of the ancient Greeks which were fought on foot, such as the
Theban and Spartan in the battle of Leuctra in 371 B.C. It
developed to modern tank battles, air battles and guided
missile battles, such as the Forth Middle East War in 1973
during the period of Cold War.
2. The time span of war history lasted about 2500 years, which
includes the Graeco-Persian War, Macedonian Alexander’s
war, Roman Empire’s war, Genghis Khan expedition to
Europe, the Hundred Year’s War between England and
France, the Thirty Years’ War in Germany, the Silesian Wars
of Frederick the Great, the French Revolution and Napoleon’s
war, American Civil War and two World Wars.
War history spans over 2 500 years….
1.
Editing – Correct the following
sentences
That kind of products is the important components of China
exporting. Agricultural products are the main exports of
China.
2.
He would lecture his younger brother, ignoring his brother’s
protest. He would ignore his brother’s protest and lecture
him.
3.
However, there are three options from author. First, to
rebuild the nationality identity of Taiwan as sovereignty
totally; second, retaining identity of China and obeying the
one-China principle; third, maintaining the present condition.
However, the author proposes three options. The first option is to
rebuild the national identity of Taiwan as a sovereign state.
The second option is to retain the identity of China, obeying
the one-China principle. Lastly, the third option is to
maintain the present condition.
1.
Another example
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The Chapter was not the explained any domestic
obstacles that face by the women it self other than
financial issues to run as a candidate. The purpose of
the Chapter was not to explain the domestic
obstacles faced by the women but rather, the
financial issues to run as a candidate.
The Chapter fails to explain the woman’s own
psychological barriers. Instead, it only explains her
financial issues in running as a candidate.
Editing Your Writing
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Go through your writing
Do you detect phrase fragments?
Rewrite the phrase fragments so that they
become complete sentences.
Common Errors in Students’ Writing
Tenses
1. ‘Media’ is plural, ‘medium’ is singular.
2. Words with no plural: internet, content (depends)
Words which are countable or uncountable
 Overuse of ‘would’
1. ‘Many people would find this question familiar..’
2. ‘We assume we would land ourselves the perfect job’
‘Would’ used in place of ‘will’ or ‘is’ or in some cases,
used in sentences where modal verbs or verbs are not
required at all.
Common Errors in Students’
Writing
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1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Too casual or conversational tone:
“But of course I am not” – However, I definitely am not……
“Which is usually gross” – which is
unappealing/disgusting/unsightly/repulsive
“Back then” – In the past/previously/in retrospect
“All put together” – In conclusion/To sum up everything/ In summary
“Land ourselves the perfect job..” – acquire what we consider to be the
ideal/perfect job, secure for ourselves….
Replace these phrases with more formal expressions.
Common Errors in Students’
Writing
Incomplete sentences or sentence fragments
1. Beginning sentence with wrong connectives:
“And so, in today’s world, we….” – In addition, ..
Because they are…” – Due to the reason that they are…; due to the
fact that they are….
2. He would lecture his younger brother, ignoring his brother’s protest.
 Long, run-on sentences that end up with confusing meaning.
 Sentences that went on for 4-5 lines, leaving readers at a loss about
the subject matter
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Common Errors in Students’
Writing
 Organization
of paragraphs
1. Topic sentences missing.
2. Lack of concrete examples or evidence
3. Need to maintain focus
4. Incomplete paragraphs – did not complete the
explanation; did not round off the argument
Revising for Consistency and Parallelism
 All
good writing is consistent
 Consistent in tense, number or person
 All good writing uses parallel structure to
balance two or more similar words, phrases or
clauses
Consistent Tense
 Which
sentence is inconsistent?
1. We stroll down Bourbon Street as the jazz
bands began to play
2. We strolled down Bourbon Street as the jazz
bands began to plan
3. We stroll down Bourbon Street as the jazz
bands begin to play
Answer: No. 1
Consistency of Number
Avoid confusing shifts from singular to plural or vice versa
 Which of the sentence below is inconsistent?
1. The wise jogger chooses their running shoes with care.
2. The wise jogger chooses his or her running shoes with care.
3. Wise joggers choose their running shoes with care.
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Answer : No.1
Consistency of Person
First person – I, we
 Second Person – you
 Third Person – he, she, it, one, a person, an individual, a
student and so on.
 Which sentence is inconsistent?
1. A player collects $200 when you pass ‘Go’.
2. A player collects $200 when he or she passes ‘Go’.
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3.
You collect $200 when you pass ‘Go’.
Answer: No. 1
Which sentence is inconsistent?
Whether one enjoys or resents commercials,
we are bombarded with them every hour of
the day.
2. Whether we enjoy or resent commercials, we
are bombarded with them every hour of the
day.
3. Whether one enjoys or resents commercials,
he or she is bombarded with them every hour
of the day.
Answer: No. 1
1.
Parallelism
 A balance
of two or more similar words, phrases or
clauses
 Consider the sentences below. Which sentences are
parallel and which are not.
1. She likes dancing, swimming, and to box.
(Not Parallel)
1. She likes dancing, swimming, and boxing.
(Parallel)
Parallelism
The cable runs across the roof; the north wall is where it
runs down.
(Not Parallel)
1.
The cable runs across the roof and down the north wall.
(Parallel)
1.
He admires people with strong convictions and who think
for themselves.
(Not Parallel)
1.
He admires people who have strong convictions and who
think for themselves.
(Parallel)
1.
Parallelism
Consider the two sentences. In what way are they parallel?
 In a democracy, we are all equal before the law. In a
dictatorship, we are all equal before the police.
What make the following sentences parallel?
1. The fruit is both tasty and fresh.
2. He either loves you or hates you.
3. Yvette not only plays golf but also swims like a pro.
4. I would rather sing in the chorus than perform a solo.
Answer: The same form of verbs is used in both clauses in each if
the sentence.
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