Transcript My skills and experience are a perfect match for the

Eliminating Wordiness
Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society
strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions,
pompous frills, and meaningless jargon.
– William Zinsser
A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason
that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a
machine with no unnecessary parts.
– William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White
Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010)
Slide 1 of 3
Eliminating Wordiness
Eliminate Redundancies
• Writers often repeat themselves unnecessarily,
thinking that expressions such as cooperate
together, yellow in color, or basic essentials add
emphasis to their writing. In reality, such
redundancies do just the opposite. There is no
need to say the same thing twice.
 Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center
working as a registered physical therapist.
 Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a
registered physical therapist.
Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010)
Slide 2 of 3
Eliminating Wordiness
Avoid Unnecessary Repetition of Words
• Though words may be repeated deliberately, for
effect, repetitions will seem awkward if they are
clearly unnecessary. When a more concise version
is possible, choose it.
 Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient.
 Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill.
Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010)
Slide 3 of 3
Eliminating Wordiness
Cut Empty or Inflated Phrases
• An empty phrase can be cut with little or no loss of
meaning. Common examples are introductory
word groups that weaken the writer’s authority by
apologizing or hedging: in my opinion, I think that,
it seems that, one must admit that, and so on.
 At this point in time my skills and experience are a perfect
match for the position of assistant manager.
 My skills and experience are a perfect match for the
position of assistant manager.
Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010)
Slide 4 of 3
Eliminating Wordiness
Reduce Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to
Single Words
• Word groups functioning as modifiers can often be
made more compact. Look for any opportunities to
reduce clauses to phrases or phrases to single
words.
 In the essay that follows, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s
claim that we should not lie under any circumstances,
which is a problematic claim.
 In this essay, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s
problematic claim that we should not lie under any
circumstances.
Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010)
Slide 5 of 3
Simplify the Structure
•
Look for opportunities to strengthen the verb
• The financial analyst claimed that because of
volatile market conditions she could not make an
estimate of the company’s future profits.
• The verb estimate is more vigorous and concise
than make an estimate of.
Colorless verbs is, are, was, and were frequently
generate excess words
• Investigators were involved in studying studied the
effect of classical music on babies.
There is and There are generate excess words.
• There is aAnother module that tells the story of
Harry Potter.
Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010)
Slide 6 of 3