Transcript Using Ratiocination to Revise Writing

Using Ratiocination to Revise
Writing
Ratiocination
Ratiocination is the process of exact thinking. We
will REVISE AND EDIT our rough drafts using this
PROCESS.
Step 1a. “To Be”
Circle ALL linking and helping verbs in the essay.
Contractions count, too. (Isn’t, Wasn’t, etc.)
*Am
*Are
*Be
*Being
*Been
*Can
*Could
*Had
*Have
*Has
*Is
*Should
*Was
*Were
*Will
*Would
How many weak verbs do you have?
Write that number at the top of your paper.
*Delete ALL contractions-replace with action verbs
(meaningful and exact)
-fix passive voice to active voice
-leave alone if other options would be for the worse
Step 1b.
*Revise your paper as much as possible to reduce
the number of weak verbs by half.
*Using a pen, write the strong verb above the “to
be verb” you are replacing.
Example:
lugged
I had a heavy bag on my back.
More Examples
Example: People claim that the only way for children to gain full
emotional and behavioral skills is to be raised by both a mother and a
father.
Revision: People claim children need both a mother and father to
gain full emotional and behavioral skills.
Example: As this subject continues to be looked down on people
must realize that single parents are becoming more common in
today’s world.
Revision: As the debate continues, people must recognize single
parent households constitute most of today’s families.
Step 2. Sentence Variety
1. [Bracket] the first word in every sentence.
This shows whether you are beginning too many
sentences the same way.
2. If many (3+) sentences begin with the same word or
phrase, revise.
Think about transitional words and whether they are
effective.
3. You can start the sentence with a prepositional or an
introductory phrase.
Examples
Example:
[I ] hated going camping in the woods during the summer. [I] packed my
clothes with little effort.
Revision: During the summer, I hated going camping. With little effort, I
packed my clothes.
Revision: Since I hated camping during the summer, I packed my clothes
with little effort.
Example:
[My mom was] a stay at home mom for many years. [My mom was] the one who
was the nurturer and demonstrated love and compassion to my siblings and me by
hugging, cuddling, and kissing all of us. [My mom was] personally involved in
teaching us throughout all the stages of development and shared in the joy of our
childhood accomplishments.
A stay at home mom for many years, my mom nurtured and demonstrated
love and compassion to my siblings and me by hugging, cuddling, and
kissing us. In addition to teaching us affection, she personally taught us
throughout all stages of development and shared our joy through each
childhood accomplishment.
Step 3. Repetition
1. Revise your writing for repetitions.
2. With a colored pencil, draw a wavy line
beneath words that have been repeated (3+
times).
Include: “a,” “an,” “the”
-if the repetition is for emphasis, leave it.
-if the repetition is for parallel structure,
leave it.
-if the repetition is careless, replace.
Step 4a: Sentence Length, Run-ons, and Fragments
Use two alternating colors to underline each sentence.
This will help you to do two things:
1. Check if your sentence lengths are varied.
*You need a combination of long and short sentences.
*Too many short sentences prevents your sentences from
flowing.
*Too many long sentences confuses readers.
To fix:
-same length sentences, shorten or lengthen for variety
-too many short, choppy sentences, combine
-too many long, complex sentences, separate and shorten
Step 4b
2. Find RUN-ONS and FRAGMENTS
a. Correct any of these mistakes.
A run-on sentence is when you put several sentences
together with an incorrect or no punctuation.
Ex. The rain was pouring, it came down in huge drops.
The rain was pouring it came down in huge drops.
A fragment is not a complete thought and needs a subject
and a predicate.
Ex. As we walked to the park on the weekend.
Because we were late for the party. (dependent clause)
And prevent further violence in peaceful American cities and towns by
creating gun ownership laws.
Step 5. “Dead Words”
1. Revise your vocabulary to more specific,
detailed words.
2. Use a highlighter to highlight all plain words
such as: said, very, got, get, nice, bad, thing,
good, stuff, awesome, wonderful, really, a lot, so
(except the conjunction), every, some, any.
3. Use more vivid words in their place; write the
new words above the highlighted words you will
replace.
Step 6: Cut the Clutter
1. Put a triangle around “There is,” There are,”
“it is,” “it was,” “this is” (use action verbs)
2. Mark out “I think,” “I feel,” “in my opinion,”
“personally,” “I believe,” “it is my opinion,”
3. Mark out all instances of “you” with an X
-do not directly address your audience in formal
writing
-be careful when replacing “you” with “one”
(it can sound forced)
Step 7
1. Whenever you describe by using comparisons, use figurative
language. This makes your writing more interesting.
2. Improve your writing by including similes, metaphors, and
analogies.
Similes: Choose a word in your writing and compare it with
something else using the words “like” or “as. Write the new sentence
in the margin.
Example: Guns in a home pose a danger to small children as a bottle
of poison left on the kitchen table.
4. Metaphor: Choose an idea in your writing and describe it by
stating that it is/was something else. Do not use the words “like” or
“as. Write the new sentence in the margin.
Example: Guns, the real killer in the night, pose a danger to small
children.
Step 8: Clichés
1. Draw a box around all clichés
Ex. When considering the death penalty, citizens
should ascribe to the old adage: an eye for an
eye.
Ex. Bullies should face severe punishment
because what goes around comes around.
-Revise for originality
-If the cliché is in dialogue, leave it.