Transcript Beyond Revision

PRESENTED BY LISA FRASE
A Writer’s Work is Never Done
re•vise – v.
1. The act or process of
changing or modifying, as of a book
or other written material.
“To revise is to resee, to look at a work, a page, or a text again.”
Donald Graves
A Writer’s Work is Never Done
-“When I write I think and put things together. When I’m done writing, I look over it again
and write it over again. I change anything I feel like changing.”
Adriana, 4th grader
-”When I write, I make up weird things. I revise and I make sure I don’t have a lot of
mistakes. If I don’t have any other ideas I go back to another story. Sometimes I like to go
back and reread what I wrote.”
Alexa, 4th grader
-”When I write I think about what I write, but when I write it doesn’t sound right, so I go off
and read. Then I put new words in it and it starts to sound right.”
Arleshia, 4th grader
The Secret of Commas
Part I
Use commas in a letter:
Dear Mary,
Sincerely,
The Secret of Commas
Part II
Use a comma in a list of items:
I went to the store to buy
milk, bread, and eggs.
The Secret of Commas
Part III
Don’t use a comma to separate
a verb from it’s subject.
I shook my head and sat down on the bed.
(The subject is “I”. The “I” is implied – I sat
down on the bed.)
The Secret of Commas
Part IV
Use a comma if listing two or more
actions and the subjects are
different.
I shook my head, and he sat down.
The Secret of Commas
Part V – Tri-Action Sentences
a. Use a comma if listing two or
more actions:
I shook my head, sighed and sat down.
The Secret of Commas
Part V – Tri-Action Sentences
b. Or if you interject (verb phrase).
I shook my head, shocked at what I was
hearing, and sat down.
If there was ever never a was…
He was tall.
She was fast.
It was big.
It was fun.
If there was ever never a was…
He was tall.
How tall was he?
The shadow of the basketball player loomed over
the ant of a boy and smiled.
Don’t tell me. Show me.
If there was ever never a was…
She was fast.
How fast was she?
Tyrell ran like the wind.
Don’t tell me. Show me.
If there was ever never a was…
It was big.
What was big?
How big was it?
It was fun.
What was fun?
How fun was it?
Don’t tell me. Show me.
Say It With Less Words
“Shoot the adverbs. Kill the adjectives.”
-Mark Twain.
• Adverbs can be redundant.
• Only weak verbs need adverbs to prop them up.
• Strings of adjectives are unnecessary.
I ran quickly from the room.
Or
I darted from the room.
A strong verb is more effective than a weak
verb that has to be propped up by an adverb.
He stealthily entered the closed art museum.
Or
He stole into the closed art museum.
A strong verb is more effective than a weak
verb that has to be propped up by an adverb.
“Watch out!” he said loudly.
Or
“Watch out!” he yelled.
A strong verb is more effective than a weak
verb that has to be propped up by an adverb.
“I can’t believe it,” she said proudly. “I did it.
I actually did it.”
Or
“I can’t believe it,” she said. I did it. I
actually did it.”
Adverbs are often used redundantly in
dialogue tags. In this example, the
character’s statement shows her pride, so
the word “proudly” is unnecessary.
The beautiful lady with the shiny golden
blonde hair sat daintily in her seat.
Or
She sat like a queen at a royal ball.
A nice simile or metaphor is much stronger
than a sentence loaded with adjectives.
Unload and repack.
Everyone Wants a Bonus
• Free journal daily
• Two Stars and a Wish
• Model, model, model
• Read like writers
• Read, read, read
www.lisafrase.com