Transcript Grammar and Composition Practice

Student Aspects,
Summer Follow up, and
The Crucible evaluations.
Writing comments, improvements
and suggestions
Read and follow instructions!
It sounds simple, elementary even, but
many student lose points by failing
to follow the instructions.
General Writing Requirements for Miller’s
English IIIA
• this is an advanced English class; work
should be presented using correct grammar
and solid writing skills
• essays and paragraphs should be titled
• write in third person (never use second
unless in quotation; first is allowable only
when noted)
• a paragraph needs a topic sentence; an
essay needs a thesis statement
General Writing Requirements for Miller’s
English IIIA continued
• discuss literature in the present tense
• when responding to a prompt regarding
literature with a paragraph or essay, always
introduce the author (full name) and title—
later the author may be referred to by his
last name
• titles of major works (like The Crucible) are
italicized or underlined (in-class writing);
minor works are placed in quotations
• avoid absolutes—always, never, etcetera
General Writing Requirements for Miller’s
English IIIA continued
• do not write “I believe,” “I think,” “I feel,”
etcetera—if a writer is sharing someone
else’s ideas, parenthetical citation will give
credit; otherwise all statements are
considered the author’s
• what is written in English class (with very
few exceptions) is formal—avoid
contractions, symbols, and abbreviations
General Writing Requirements for Miller’s
English IIIA
• write legibly—it’s wrong if Ms. Miller can’t
make it out
• avoid careless errors—the title of the play
should be spelled correctly—it’s on the test;
ditto for characters’ names; do not call a
play a novel, etcetera
Easy Grammatical Fixes
• NEVER place a single comma
between a subject and its verb
• NEVER place a colon immediately
after a be verb
Many rules of English grammar have
exceptions: these do not—memorize
them
Aspects of Literature
its’ is not a word
it’s = the contraction of it is
its = the possesive of it
Aspects of Literature
Use present tense to discuss literature
as well as film and television.
Student error: “A plot-twist is an
unforeseen sudden change in the
plot of which the reader did not
expect. Rod Sterling’s The Twilight
Zone was notorious for including
plot twists at the end of the episodes.
What is wrong?
Aspects of Literature
“A plot-twist is an unforeseen sudden change in the
plot of which the reader did not expect. Rod
Sterling’s The Twilight Zone was notorious for
including plot twists at the end of the episodes.
Wording: “unforeseen sudden”
Past tense: “did not expect” and “was”
Improvement: Plot twists offer unforeseen changes.
Notoriously, Rod Sterling’s The Twilight Zone
includes plot twists to conclude episodes.
Aspects of Literature
“There” statements:
Expletives are words or phrases which
add nothing to sentences. The most
commonly utilized expletives in
student writing are there statements
(there is, there are, there have been,
there was, there were, etc.)
Aspects of Literature
“There” statements continued
There statements weaken prose. Ridding papers of
there statements offers the fastest way to
strengthen weak writing.
Good news: it is fairly easy to rid writing of there
statements.
Offer: anytime a student is writing in/for my class
and can’t think of anything to write but a there
statement, he should ask for help. I will help the
student eliminate it and learn to do so himself
Aspects of Literature
“There” statements continued
Student example “There are millions of
books in the world, but only a select
few are chosen to become part of the
elite, the classics.”
Aspects of Literature
“There” statements continued
“There are millions of books in the world,
but only a select few are chosen to
become part of the elite, the classics.”
Improvement: Despite millions of books
world wide, only a select few find elite
status: the classics.
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences (r/o)
A major issue which shows up again and
again in student writing is run-on sentences.
In order to correct run-on sentences,
students must understand dependent and
independent clauses.
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences cont.
Clauses
• Clause: a group of words with a subject and
a verb
• Dependent (aka subordinate) clause: a
clause that can’t stand alone as a sentence
(contains a subject and a verb but not a
complete thought)
• Independent clause: a clause that can stand
alone as a sentence (complete thought)
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences cont.
Another aid in eliminating run-on sentences is
an understanding of sentence types.
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences cont.
• Simple sentence: a sentence containing
only one independent clause
• Compound sentence: a sentence containing
two or more independent clauses
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences cont.
• Complex sentence: a sentence containing
one independent clause and at least one
dependent clause
• Compound/complex sentence: a sentence
containing at least one dependent clause
and two (or more) independent clauses
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences—punctuating independent
clauses
Two independent clauses may be written as
two separate sentences—utilize a period
and a capital letter to correct.
Two independent clauses may be divided with
a comma and a coordinating conjunction
(and, but, so, etc.).
Two independent clauses may be separated
by a semicolon.
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences—punctuating independent
clauses
Two independent clauses may be separated
by semicolon, a conjunctive adverb
(however, therefore, moreover, nonetheless,
etc.), and a comma.
• Two independent clauses may be separated
by a colon if the first introduces a second
clause which modifies the first. (This usage
occurs infrequently—do not force!)
Summer Follow Up
Student example: “She doesn’t feel as if her
life is missing much, she doesn’t need all
the comforts of Western society.”
What causes the run-on sentences above?
How can the error be corrected?
Summer Follow Up
Run-on sentences cont.
“She doesn’t feel as if her life is missing much, she
doesn’t need all the comforts of Western society.”
“. . . much. She. . ..”
“. . . much, and she . . ..”
“. . . much; she . . ..”
“. . . much; moreover, she . . ..”
The Crucible Evaluation
Question 7
Is The Crucible chiefly concerned with
religion, morality, history, or justice?
Select one and defend the selection
with two-to-four sentences of logical
support.
Question 7 - Student Response
This student receive 5/5 for the response.
The main concern of The Crucible is
morality and the irony of what some people
believe to be good morals. This is illustrated
in the fact that people with the best morals
are the ones that die for it because they
refuse to lie after being accused. Also, the
people who mistakenly have bad morals,
such as the court, are the ones who
condemn those with good morals.
Question 7 – Student Response
What is good?
• Follows instructions
• Provides thoughtful and logical commentary
• Answers question
What could be improved?
• pronoun issues
• fewer be verbs; more action verbs
The Paragraphs
The instructions: select three of
the following and discuss in a
well-developed (approximately
seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA
formatted, third person, present
tense paragraph.
The Paragraphs
A prompt
Identify and discuss a major
irony in The Crucible.
Student Example
In Arthur Miller’s the Crucible, there are
several examples of irony throughout the
novel. Back in the late seventeenth
century, people were very superstitious
and the littlest thing out of the ordinary
would raise confusion. Salem goes into
ruins because no one is there to take care
of anything. While trying to save Salem
from witches, they ultimately lead to the
ruin of their village. (continued next slide)
Student Example continued
With liveston running amuck, rotting
crops lay in the fields, and children left
uncared for, Salem was left in a shadow
of its former self. What they did to
Salem was worse than what they were
trying to protect it from.
What is good about this response?
What about this response needs
improvement?
Student Example Positives
Some knowledge of history and play is
demonstrated
Introduces title and author’s full name
Discusses an irony (although it is never
labeled as such)
Student Example Negatives
Discusses literature in the past tense
Some questionable word choice
Comma splice
Run-on sentence
“there” statement
Ends paragraph with a preposition
Calls play a novel
Salem exists today, so the witch trials did
not cause its ruin
Lack of clarity (“liveston”)?
Student Example
One major irony in The Crucible
reflects on Puritan values. A citizen
may be openly accused of witchcraft
with little or no proof. The courts
have been created in such a way that
somebody accused of witchcraft is
nearly automatically sentenced to
death. Escaping this fate is only
possible by confessing to the crime,
whether or not the “perpetrator” is
guilty. (continued on next slide)
Student Example continued
This means, for an innocent person, they
must confess to being a witch/warlock to
live. One would think the Puritans would
wish to persecute confessed dealers with
Satan, not free them! This ironic, religious
value defines a crisis in The Crucible.
What is good here?
What here needs improvement?
Student Examples Positive
responds to prompt (discusses an
irony)
follows instructions (7-12 sentences,
present tense, third person)
seems knowledgeable about play and
time period (Puritan community)
understands irony
clear and confident voice
Student Example Negatives
no introduction of author
pronoun/antecedent agreement error
uses “one” to avoid first/second
person
comma issues
occasional awkward wording
Underlining?
The Paragraphs
Same instructions: select three of
the following and discuss in a
well-developed (approximately
seven-to-twelve sentences), MLA
formatted, third person, present
tense paragraph.
The Second Prompt
Consider the deleted scene, Act 2,
Scene 2. Discuss how the scene
might have changed the play and
why Miller might have decided to
remove it.
Student Example
In Aurthor Miller’s The Crucible, the
deleted scene, Act 2, Scene 2, is
open to interpretation. One reason it
may have been taken out is the
difference in the characters’
emotions. John Proctor is seen as
almost a “bad guy” because his
relationship with Abby is more
developed here and it shows that
(continued on next slide)
Student Example Continued
John still is leading her on a little
and showing the relationship still
exists. In the rest of the play,
Proctor looks like he totally regrets
the relationship and treats Abby
hatefully, contrasting to this scene.
Continually, Miller may have decided
that he didn’t want the reader to feel
sympithetic to Abby because of
(continued on next slide)
Student Example Continued
Proctor’s treatment of her. Miller may have
wanted Abby to look justified in her
constant struggle to win Proctor over.
Finally, it is possible that Miller simply didn’t
like the flow of the play with Act 2, Scene 2,
included a decided to take it out. Miller’s
reasoning to vague & unknown, but the play
runs just smoothly without the scene as
with.
Consideration
What is good here?
What here needs improvement?
Student Example Positives
Introduces play and author (although
spelled incorrectly)
Uses present tense
Utilizes third person
Title set off appropriately
Student Example Negatives
Awkward word choice at times
Spelling
Misreading of play suggested (Proctor does
not treat Abby hatefully in Act 1)
Support needed (example: how might the
deleted scene make Abby look justified or
the audience gain sympathy)
Proof reading—too many errors/concerns,
even for an in-class write
Sentence structure
Student Example
In the play The Crucible, Arthoir [spelling
unclear on student copy] Miller origianally
had a scene in Act 2 in which Proctor
confronts Abigail on everything she is
doing, but Miller later excluded that scene
from the play. If Miller had kept the scene
in the play, the viewers would see a
different side of Abigail and may have a
different perspective on her than without
the scene. (continued on next slide)
Student Example Continued
In the scene, it becomes more and more
obvious that there is something wrong
with Abigail. She goes off on rants
about people in Salem and how they are
all hypocrites, and she still believes that
John Proctor wants his wife dead so he
can be with Abigail, even though he
tries to tell her forcefully that he loves
his wife and doesn’t want Abigail. It
becomes clear that Abigail has
(continued on next slide)
Student Example Continued
something wrong with her through the
stage notes when it says Proctor begins
to see her madness. This scene softens
Abigail’s character because it shows
she’s crazy, and viewers may feel
sympathy toward her. The sympathy for
her is not wanted because she is the
main antagonist in the play. Miller might
not want that feeling toward her because
it would soften the whole take of the play.
Student Example
What here is good?
What here needs improvement?
Student Example Positives
Introduces title and author (possible
spelling error)
Seems thoughtful
Minimal grammatical errors
Knowledge of play and characters
demonstrated
Responds to prompt
Shows knowledge of literary devices
Student Example Negatives
Spelling
Word choice (more variety needed)
Sentence structure occasionally
awkward
“there” statement
Seems redundant at times
Fails to set off title appropriately