Transcript Simplify your writing to make it more effective

Simplify your writing to make it
more effective
Theresa Bell
Writing Centre Coordinator
Royal Roads University
Think before you write
Consider:
• Who is your audience?
• What language would your audience use?
• What do you want your audience to understand?
• What do you want your audience to do?
Start the sentence with the subject and verb
Locate the subject and verb of
a sentence at the beginning of
the sentence.
A. “Mutual understanding between
parties in dispute and solutions
that integrate the needs of each
party are at the heart of
transformative and inclusive
conflict management practices.”
B. Transformative and inclusive
conflict management practices
develop a mutual
understanding between parties
in dispute and solutions that
integrate the needs of each
party.
Keep sentences short and focused
General guide for sentence
length: 25 words
o Remember your reader may
not be as familiar with the
topic as you are
o Focus on the sentence’s main
point so it’s easy for your
reader to know what is
important
A. “However, one thing we did not
initially consider, but that
negatively skewed our forum
participation data, is the fact
that students were subscribed to
the library forum in what
Moodle calls “forced
subscription” mode, meaning
they automatically received
emails of all posts to that
forum.” (45 words)
B.
Students were force-subscribed
to the library forum and
automatically received emails of
all posts, which negatively
skewed our forum participation
data. (22 words)
Use simple language
Your goal is to communicate,
not confuse.
A. “When the process of freeing a
stuck vehicle that has been stuck
results in ruts or holes, the
operator will fill the rut or hole
created by such activity before
removing the vehicle from the
immediate area.“
B. “If you make a hole while freeing
a stuck vehicle, you must fill the
hole before you drive away.”
Delete non-essential descriptors
Adjective = a word that describes a
noun
Adverb = a word that describes a verb
“I notice that you use plain, simple
language, short words and brief
sentences. That is the way to write
English – it is the modern way and the
best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and
flowers and verbosity creep in. When
you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I
don’t mean utterly, but kill most of
them – then the rest will be valuable.
They weaken when they are close
together. They give strength when they
are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a
wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once
fastened upon a person, is as hard to
get rid of as any other vice” (Mark
Twain).
A. I eagerly await your thoughtful
reply and happily
anticipate our next illuminating
conversation.
B. I’m looking forward to your reply
and our next conversation.
Delete unnecessary qualifiers
Qualifier: “a word (such as an
adjective or adverb) or phrase that
describes another word or group of
words”.
E.g., very, actually, really, quite,
basically, probably, definitely,
somewhat, kind of, extremely,
practically.
A. “Because a great many of the
words in this sentence
are basically unnecessary, it
would really be a
very good idea to edit somewhat
for conciseness.”
B.
I should edit the sentence
because many of the
words are unnecessary.
Delete redundancies
Redundant statements:
Redundant pairs: full and complete,
each and every, hopes and dreams,
whole entire, first and foremost, true
and accurate, always and forever.
A.
This was the first time they
had ever had a librarian
participate in their online
courses.
o “First time” means never
before, therefore “ever” is
redundant
B.
This was the first time a
librarian participated in their
online courses.
Avoid vague pronouns
Vague pronoun = using “it”,
“this”, “that”, or other
pronouns to refer to a
previously-mentioned noun
• “It also likely explains why there
is higher uptake in these three
specific knowledge areas over
others.“ (What is “it”?)
• “This means that forced
subscription negates the need for
students to go into to the forum
to read the content. “ (What is
“this”?)
Check for passive voice
Active sentence: the subject comes
first
Passive sentence: the object (the
thing that is receiving the action)
comes first; the subject appears at
the end of the sentence or isn’t
included at all.
Detecting passive voice: check the
primary verb, and if there’s a form of
“be” (am, is, are, was, were) and a
past tense verb (many end with -ed),
the sentence may be passive.
Why is passive voice a problem?
• Tends to be wordier
• May not provide necessary
information (e.g., who is the actor
of the action?)
A. Training was conducted and
participants were evaluated.
B.
The trainers provided instruction
and evaluated the participants.
Proofread
• Read out loud (slowly enough
that someone else could
understand you)
• Read word-for-word backwards
to catch spelling errors
• Read sentence-by-sentence
backwards to check grammar
• Microsoft Word’s grammar and
style check
• Writer’s Diet Test
Questions?
http://library.royalroads.ca/writing-centre
http://writeanswers.royalroads.ca
250-391-2600, ext. 4353