Transcript The Structure of a Sentence

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Brooklyn Technical High School
Freshman Composition
Mr. Williams
Learning Objective:
Use a range of organizational strategies to present information.
To practice the convention of Standard Written English
Common Core Standards:
W.9-10.3. Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another
to create a coherent whole.
L.9-10.1. Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and
usage when writing or speaking.
Homework:
Correcting
Dangling Modifiers
Go to sasinschools.com
Username: ususally99modern
In the QL# box, type 1171
Learning about Dangling Modifiers to learn strategies for
revising dangling modifiers.
Correct dangling modifiers using Correcting Dangling
Modifiers.
New Words
Spelling Words
 consciousness
 endeavor
Vocabulary Words
 audacious (adj.)
 Audac in Latin means daring
 The prefix –ous means full of
 Nowhere in the world would such an
audacious proposal ever have seen the light
of the day.
 extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave;
fearless
 audit (v.)
 an official examination and verification of
accounts and records, especially of
financial accounts.
 They'll even send a team of experts in to do
an operational audit to assess a store's
efficiency.
Motivational
Activity:
Revise the following “flat”
descriptive sentence:
I saw a beautiful sunrise.
Rewrite it as a detailed “rich”
descriptive paragraph of 5-6
sentences.
Motivational
Activity:
Revise the flat descriptive sentence: I saw a beautiful sunrise.
And now, a rich descriptive paragraph:
Early this morning, as I walked along the sandy beach, I saw
the sun rise slowly out of the ocean. At first, the ocean
looked red. Then, it turned slowly to pink, to aqua, and finally
to blue. As I stood watching the sun, I heard the waves hit
the shore, and I felt the cold water swirl around my toes. For
a moment, even the small grey and white birds that ran along
the shore seemed to stop and watch the dazzling sight.
The Adjective
A word or phrase the modifies/describes a person, place, or
thing, by telling what kind, which one, how many, or which
one.
In the sentence, “This bowl of hot soup is delicious.”, how many
adjectives are used?
In the sentence, “ Jorge drew a picture of a duck and a chicken.”,
how many adjectives are used?
What kind?
Which one?
How many?
How much?
Brown shoes
Those cars
Ten boxes
Some water
English tea
First step
Several books
Less time
Up-to-date look
Last one
Many students
Enough money
Descriptive Adjectives
Well-chosen adjectives can make writing more colorful
and descriptive.
For each of the following sentences, replace the underlined
adjective with vivid, descriptive ones.
1.The terrible storm caught the town by
surprise.
2.That group makes great music.
3.His nice smile makes everyone feel better.
4.They have a cute kitchen.
5.I wouldn’t mind having an old car.
Descriptive Adjectives
Well-chosen adjectives can make writing more colorful and
descriptive.
For each of the following sentences, replace the underlined
adjective with vivid, descriptive ones.
1. The catastrophic storm caught the town by
surprise.
2. That group makes foot-tapping music.
3. His sincere smile makes everyone feel better.
4. They have a charming country kitchen.
5. I wouldn’t mind having an antique car.
The Adverb
A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb, and
adjective, or another adverb. An adverb tells how, when,
where, or to what extent.
Adverbs Modifying Verbs: Marian Anderson performed
(magnificently; earlier; there; widely.)
Adverbs Modifying Adjectives: The players are
exceptionally skillful.
Adverbs Modifying Other Adverbs: Andre reacted to the
news rather calmly.
Descriptive Adverbs
A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb, and
adjective, or another adverb. An adverb tells how, when,
where, or to what extent.
Descriptive writing avoids overused adverbs such as
very, really, and so.
1.The lions were very hungry after their
unsuccessful hunt.
2.In the land of the Lilliputians, Gulliver
appears really tall.
3.So many people were waiting in line for
tickets.
Descriptive Adverbs
A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb, and
adjective, or another adverb. An adverb tells how, when,
where, or to what extent.
Descriptive writing avoids overused adverbs such as very,
really, and so.
1.The lions were ravenous after their
unsuccessful hunt.
2.In the land of the Lilliputians, Gulliver appears
gigantic.
3.Hundreds of people were waiting in line for
tickets.
Misplaced and Dangling
Modifiers
Modifiers should be placed as close as possible to the word
it is supposed to describe.
Misplaced Modifier:
After selecting a college, my mother took me on a trip to visit the
campus.
After my mother selected a college for me to attend, she took me on
a trip to visit the campus.
After I selected a college to attend, my mother took me on a trip to
visit the campus.
Dangling Modifier:
After selecting a college, a trip to the campus was planned.
After we selected a college, my mother and I planned a trip to the
campus.
Misplaced and Dangling
Modifiers
Modifiers should be placed as close as possible to the word it is
supposed to describe.
Misplaced Modifier:
After shopping all night long, my mother gave me a Christmas present.
After my mother shopped all night long, she gave me a Christmas gift.
After I shopped all night long, my mother gave me a Christmas gift.
Dangling Modifier:
After shopping all night long, the presents were wrapped and placed under
the Christmas tree.
After we shopped all night long, my mother and I wrapped the presents
and placed them under the Christmas tree.
The Descriptive Verb
A word that expresses an action or a state of being.
Descriptive writing usually contains fewer linking
verbs.
Flat Descriptions:
1.The rose smelled sweet.
2.The clouds became black.
3.The white dove soaring toward the clouds looked angelic.
Rich Descriptions:
1.The heady scent of the blooming rose penetrated my
senses.
2.The looming clouds thundered an ominous warning.
3.The angel dove soared toward the luminous clouds.
Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
There are two kinds of descriptive paragraphs: objective and
descriptive.
Most descriptive paragraphs mix objective description with
subjective descriptions.
The Lincoln Memorial was built to celebrate American democracy. In front of the
monument is a long marble staircase that leads from a reflecting pool to the memorial’s
entrance. Thirty-six columns surround the building. Inside the house are three rooms.
The first room contains the nineteen-foot statue of Lincoln. Seated in a chair, Lincoln
looks exhausted after the long Civil War. One of Lincoln’s hands is a fist, showing his
strength, and the other is open, showing his kindness. On either side of the first room
are the other two rooms. Carved on the wall of the second room is the Gettysburg
Address. On the wall of the third room is the Second Inaugural Address. Above the
Gettysburg Address is a mural showing an angel freeing the slaves. Above the Second
Inaugural Address is another mural, which shows the people of the North and the South
coming back together. As its design shows, the Lincoln Memorial was built to celebrate
both the sixteenth president and the nation’s struggle for democracy.
Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
There are two kinds of descriptive paragraphs: objective and
descriptive.
Most descriptive paragraphs mix objective description with
subjective descriptions.
My uncle Manuel is a strong but gentle person who took care of my mother and me
when my father died. Manuel, or Manny, as his friends and family call him, is over six
feet tall. This is unusual for a Mexican of his generation. The first thing that most
people notice about my uncle Manny is his eyes. They are large and dark brown,
almost black. They make him look very serious. When he laughs, however, the sides
of his eyes crinkle up and he looks warm and friendly. Another thing that stands out is
his nose, which is long and straight. My mother says it makes uncle Manny look strong
and distinguished. The most interesting thing about uncle Manny is his hands. Even
though he hasn’t worked as a stonemason since he opened his own construction
company ten years ago, his hands are still rough and scared from carrying stones. No
matter how much he tries, he can’t get rid of the dirt under the skin of his fingers. Uncle
Manny’s hands are big and rough, but they’re also gentle and comforting. To me, they
show what he really is: a strong and gentle man.
Descriptive Writing Matters
Anyone who has ever answered a classified ad for
a "charming" apartment--only to schedule a tour
and discover chartreuse shag carpets and leaky
plumbing--knows why descriptive writing matters.
Likewise, victims of online dating disasters
understand all too well the gap between vague,
flattering profiles and vivid, not-so-flattering reality.
Whether you want to email a friend about the cute
new barista at the corner coffee shop or write the
Great American Novel, you need to know the
basics of descriptive writing.
Descriptive Writing Matters
Descriptive writing engages the senses--sight, touch, taste,
sound and smell. It makes it possible for your readers to
experience places, people and things they have never before
encountered. For example, even if they have never tasted Thai
sweet chili sauce, a good restaurant review can tickle their taste
buds. Descriptions also allow readers to step into your shoes
and see the world through your eyes--or through the eyes of
characters you create. This sparks emotions, generates
empathy and keeps readers invested in your story or ideas. It
also conveys authenticity. Say you write a travel article about a
winter holiday in Portland, Oregon, but never once describe the
famous bridges spanning the Willamette River. Readers who
have visited or lived there might wonder if you know your stuff-especially since Portland goes by the nickname "Bridge City.”
Descriptive Writing Matters
Misconceptions:
Many people associate descriptive writing with
fiction and poetry, but descriptive writing can pop
up anywhere. When police file a report, they
describe suspects and scenes. Doctors describe
patients' symptoms in medical charts. Teens
gossip about peers' outfits. You even use
descriptive writing in cover letters to prospective
employers.
By Karen Murdock
Writing a Descriptive Paragraph
Working in a group of three, generate ideas to
convey three dominate impressions of Brooklyn
Technical High School.
Each person in the group must take one the
impressions and write a descriptive paragraph.
No two members should take the same
impression.
For example, a group might describe the size of
the school, the workload, and the student life.