Transcript Document

At a loss for words?
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Writing Clearly,
Correctly, and
Concisely
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Writing Clearly
The great enemy of clear
language is insincerity.
—George Orwell
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Active vs. Passive Voice
Active: We have determined the target market to be
adults between the ages of 30 and 45.
Passive: The target market was determined to be
adults between the ages of 30 and 45.
Who’s doing what to whom?
• Active voice identifies the actor.
• Passive puts the object being acted on first.
Check which style your professor prefers.
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Clarity and Complexity
Complex phrases and clauses, new information,
and technical terms are easier to process when
placed at the end of a sentence.
Complex: Lincoln’s claim that the Civil War was God’s
punishment of both the North and South for slavery
appears in the last part of the speech.
Revised: In the last part of his speech, Lincoln claims
that God gave the Civil War to both the North and
South as a punishment for slavery.
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Clarity and Complexity
Here is another example. The more complex
phrase is easier for the reader to process when it
comes at the end of the sentence.
Complex: Questions about the ethics of withdrawing
intravenous feeding are the most difficult.
Revised: The most difficult questions are about the ethics
of withdrawing intravenous feeding.
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Word Choice
Avoid informal language if you are trying to maintain a
professional/academic tone. Avoid ambiguous language to
enhance clarity.
Informal
Ambiguous
Thing
Numerous
Really
A lot/a little
Deal with
This (by itself as a subject)
Just
Very
Contractions (e.g., can’t)
Considerable
Even
Good/bad
Check for Unnecessary Repetition
Circle or highlight any
repeated words. Replace
repeated words with
synonyms.
*Repetition of key words can also create unity.
Creating Coherence
Key Words: Most difficult are questions about the ethics of
withdrawing intravenous feeding. Intravenous feeding can
prolong life to an indefinite extent, but it cannot always
preserve its quality. Without quality, many would argue, life
is worthless.
Varied Word Choice: Most difficult are questions about the
ethics of withdrawing intravenous feeding. Tube sustenance
can prolong existence to an indefinite extent, but it cannot
always preserve its quality. Without that, many would
argue, living is worthless.
Verb Tense
Methods: Smith (2010) enrolled 200 participants in her study on
cognitive learning.
Results: Smith (2010) found that 20% of participants learned
more when listening to music while studying.
General Conclusions: Smith (2010) concludes that students
should listen to music while studying to improve the learning
process.
Arguments: Smith (2010) argues that federal policy should allow
public school students to listen to music while they study.
*These are general guidelines. Verb tense standards might vary by field and journal.
Writing Correctly
It is perfectly okay to write
garbage—as long as you
edit brilliantly.
—C. J. Cherryh
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Understanding Clauses
Independent clause
-Can stand on its own as
a sentence
-Receives the most
emphasis
{
Dependent clause
-Is a sentence fragment
-Adds extra information
}
Because Aggies believe in
honesty and loyalty, they
do not lie, cheat or steal.
Dependent Clause Indicators
A clause is probably dependent if it starts with words
like because, if, when, while, since, that, which, who,
as, or a preposition.
{
Because I go to Texas A&M, I follow the Aggie
Honor Code.
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}
Subject & Verb Agreement
Verb
Subject
Example
Singular
Two, singular The primary investigator or student
subjects
worker is going to weigh the sample.
Singular
Each
Each of the participants knows
how to score the advertisement.
Plural
Either/or
Neither/nor
Neither the surveys nor the
interviews show increased
understanding.
Singular
Sums of
money
Three hundred dollars is the cost of the
project.
Plural
“Data”
The data suggest an improvement.
Noun & Pronoun Agreement
Noun
Pronoun
Example
Singular
Singular
Each of the participants knows
his or her role in the study.
Singular
Singular
As the control group, the class
has its own pre-test.
Plural
Plural
As the control group, the class
has their own pre-test.
Listing
Each item in a list should have the same grammatical
structure. In other words, the items should be parallel.
Nonparallel: The researcher filtered the compound, weighed the
sample, and remaining material.
Parallel: The researcher filtered the compound, weighed the sample,
and stored the remaining material.
List items should be punctuated appropriately. Semicolons
separate list items that have commas in them. Also,
consider whether the list should be numbered or bulleted.
The data for Smith’s (2010) study were collected in Bryan, TX; San
Diego, CA; and Boston, MA.
Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers
A misplaced modifier is too far away from the word it’s
trying to describe.
Ex: As survey distributors, it was vital that the teachers remained
impartial.
 As survey distributors, the teachers needed to remain impartial.
A dangling modifier describes a word that isn’t in the
sentence.
Ex: Once stored in a controlled temperature, the researcher waited
three days.
 Once stored in a controlled temperature, the sample remained
there for three days.
Restrictive & Nonrestrictive
Clauses
Nonrestrictive clauses
Restrictive clauses
• Can be removed without
altering the meaning of the
sentence
• Take “which” or “who”
• Are set off with commas
• Cannot be removed without
altering the meaning of the
sentence
• Take “that” or “who”
• Are not set off with commas
Nonrestrictive: The study, which was done in 2011, modeled risk
communication.
Restrictive: Her study that modeled risk communication was done in
2011.
Punctuation
Check for . . .
Commas
Semi-colons
Colons
Apostrophes
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Commas
Commas separate two
complete sentences (or
independent clauses)
joined by a coordinating
conjunction:
The participants were
given ten minutes to fill
out the survey, but the
interviews were not under
the same time constraint.
For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So
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Commas
Commas separate
introductory material
According to Smith’s (2010)
typology, the data should fit
into five categories.
Commas on both sides of
interrupting words
or phrases
The null hypothesis, however,
was rejected.
The data, in fact, support that
a significant improvement
occurred after the treatment.
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Semicolons & Colons
Semicolons
{;}
Colons
{:}
Separate two complete sentences
(second sentence NOT capitalized)
Used in lists where there are
commas within the items of
the list
Set apart a complete sentence
from an example or list
Ex. The researcher conducted
two studies: a content analysis
and a case study.
Apostrophes
It’s (it is)
Thomas’ (2003) book
Thomas’s (2003) book
_’_
Each participant’s score (singular)
The participants’ scores (plural)
Do not use apostrophes with time eras (the 1970s),
plural last names (the Smiths), or possessive
pronouns (its, his, hers, etc).
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Writing Concisely
This report, by its very length, defends
itself against the risk of being read.
—Winston Churchill
Wordiness
Check for . . .
Excess Words
Repeated Words
Ambiguous Words
Negatives
Active/Passive Voice
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Remove Excess Words
Delete doubles
full and complete
tried and true
each and every
Delete redundancies
true facts
free gift
in a wise manner
red in color
seven in number
come to an agreement
long in duration
Change Negatives to
Affirmatives
not different  similar
not many  few
not the same  different
not often  rarely
not allow  prevent
not stop  continue
not notice  overlook
not include  omit
From Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace by Joseph Williams
Remove Sentence Sprawl
A sentence sprawls when there are many clauses after
the verb. Reduce sprawl by cutting or revising
who/that/which clauses.
Ex: Teachers should remember that students are
vulnerable and uncertain about those everyday, egobruising moments that adults ignore, and that they do not
understand that one day…
Ex: Teachers should remember students are vulnerable
and uncertain about those everyday, ego-bruising
moments adults ignore, and they do not understand that
one day…
Paramedic Method
1.
2.
3.
4.
Circle the prepositions.
Circle the “is” forms.
Find the action.
Put this action in a simple (not
compound) active verb.
5. Start fast—no slow windups.
6. Read the passage aloud with emphasis
and feeling.
7. Mark off sentence’s basic rhythmic
units.
8. Mark sentence lengths.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/032
1441699/ref=dp_image_text_0?ie=UTF8&n=2831
55&s=books
The Official Style
The National Research Council Space Studies
Board, in cooperation with the Aeronautics
and Space Engineering Board, is in the process
of organizing a decadal survey to establish
priorities and provide recommendations for
life and physical sciences research in
microgravity and partial gravity for the 20102020 decade.
Source: Aeronautics and Space Engineering Board of the National Academies
(http://sites.nationalacademies.org/DEPS/ASEB/index.htm)
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Paramedic Method
Find the prepositions
and “to be” verbs.
Find the action and
simplify:
•
•
•
is in the process of organizing
 is organizing
establish priorities  prioritize
provide recommendations 
recommend
Start fast—no slow
wind-ups.
in cooperation with  and
The National Research Council
Space Studies Board, in
cooperation with the Aeronautics
and Space Engineering Board, is in
the process of organizing a decadal
survey to establish priorities and
provide
recommendations for life
co
and physical sciences research in
microgravity and partial gravity for
the 2010-2020 decade.
Revision
The National Research Council Space Studies
Board and the Aeronautics and Space
Engineering Board are organizing a 2010-2020
survey to prioritize concerns and recommend life
and physical sciences research in microgravity
and partial gravity.
The Lard Factor
Divide the difference between the number of words
in the original and the number in the revised
version by the number in the original.
Original (46) minus Revision (34) = 12
12÷ 46 = .26 or 26%
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