Transcript Eliminating “to be” Verbs

Eliminating “to be” Verbs
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Using the Five Brush Strokes
Adjectives shifted out of order
Participles
Appositives
Absolutes
Action Verbs
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Sometimes you can simply replace the
“be” verb with an action verb
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Sometimes you can simply replace the
“be” verb with an action verb
The girl was running down the road.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Sometimes you can simply replace the
“be” verb with an action verb
The girl was running down the road.
The girl ran down the road.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Sometimes you can simply replace the
“be” verb with an action verb
The girl was running down the road.
The girl ran down the road.
But this oftentimes does not produce a
better sentence.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Most often we need to tear the sentence
out and rewrite it completely. This is
when your Five Brush Strokes will
help you.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
The house was green and red, and I will
never forget the last time I saw it.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
The house was green and red, and I will
never forget the last time I saw it.
The house, green and red, impressed on
me so much that I could never forget
its sight.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
When I was sixteen, I remember my
grandfather teaching me how to play
the guitar.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
When I was sixteen, I remember my
grandfather teaching me how to play
the guitar.
My grandfather, an accomplished guitar
player, found pleasure in teaching
me, a young man of sixteen, how to
play his beloved instrument.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Jack and Jill had been going out for
almost a year and nobody wanted
them to break up.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
Jack and Jill had been going out for
almost a year and nobody wanted
them to break up.
Having dated for almost a year, nobody
wanted Jack and Jill to break up.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
It feels like I am being stabbed in the
heart.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
It feels like I am being stabbed in the
heart.
Gasping for breath, clinging to life, the
pain feels like a knife to my heart.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
I was ten years old, and I was afraid of
the people.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
I was ten years old, and I was afraid of
the people.
At the tender age of ten, the simple sight
of the people filled my heart with
fear.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
These places I’ve been – no man can go.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
These places I’ve been – no man can go.
Mind racing, imagination wondering, I
have traveled to places no man can
go.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
He was riding it down the street at 90
mph.
Eliminating “to be” Verbs
He was riding it down the street at 90
mph.
Unaware of the dangers ahead, he raced
down the street in a flash of 90 mph.