Transcript Grammar Review

Grammar Review
Tips for improving formal essays
Present Tense vs. Present
Progressive

PRESENT PROGRESSIVE
 continuing action
 formed with the helping "to be" verb,
in the present tense, plus the present
participle of the verb (with an -ing
ending)
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Present Tense provides more CLARITYone of the ultimate goals of writing
How would we fix this?

She is acting more like a sibling than a
mother, when she is choosing to react in
a sluggish manner when her husband is
telling her that one of their children
may be ill.
Answer:

She acts more like a sibling than a
mother when she chooses to react in a
sluggish manner when her husband tells
her that one of their children may be ill.
Appropriate use of past tense
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When you presently refer to something that
happened in the past
Example: Edna’s present attitude is a reference to a
past event.
Edna feels trapped (currently feels trapped)
because she married (an event that occurred in the
past) her husband to rebel against her father’s
wishes.
In the 1800s, men viewed (happened in the past)
women as second-class citizens.
Subject/Verb Agreement
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Subjects and verbs must agree in number
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2 subjects connected by and: use plural
verb
2 singular subjects connected by or: use
singular verb
Each, each one, either, neither, everyone,
everybody, anybody, anyone, nobody,
somebody, someone, and no one: use
singular verb
How would you fix this?

Edna’s immorality and her inability to
fulfill her role as a mother woman
impacts the way others perceive her.
Answer

Edna’s immorality and her inability to
fulfill her role as a mother woman
impact the way others perceive her.
Other Agreement Errors
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Alcee and Robert are both characters who
fulfill his roles as catalysts for Edna’s
immorality.

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Should be THEIR roles
Mother-women are a woman who
worships her husband and idolizes her
children

Should be WOMEN
Semicolons
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in place of a period to separate two
sentences where the conjunction has
been left out

before introductory words such as
however, therefore, for example, or for
instance when they introduce a
complete sentence
How would we fix this?

As the story continues, Edna begins to
make more emotional choices on her
own without the thought of her family;
ultimately leading into her
individualistic ways.
Answer:

As the story continues, Edna begins to
make more emotional choices on her
own without the thought of her family;
these choices ultimately lead into her
individualistic ways.
Quotations
ONE PER BODY PARAGRAPH
 Appropriate citations for books include:
 “QUOTE” (#).
 You should ALWAYS introduce a quote. Do
not just state a quote.
 Phrase, “Quote” (#).
 Never start or end a paragraph with a quote!
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How would we fix this?
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“Allez vous-en. Allez vous-en.” (5) The
parrot (caged bird) screamed to Leonce
Pontellier.
Answer:
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The parrot screams, “Allez vous-en.
Allez vous-en” (5).
Parallelism
Sentences must be BALANCED.
 Example:

Do not use two “–ing verbs” in a thesis
statement and then one “to plus infinitive
verb”
 He loves biking, walking, and to swim.

How would we fix this?

In Kate Chopin’s The Awakening, Robert
Lebrun’s morality is tested by Edna
Pontellier when Edna tempted him by
kissing him, when Alcee Arobin came
over to visit Edna after Robert returned
from Mexico, and on Grand Isle where
she would spend most of her time with
him.
Answer:
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In Kate Chopin’s The Awakening, Robert
Lebrun’s morality is tested by Edna
Pontellier when Edna tempts him by
kissing him, when Edna meets with
Alcee while Robert is in Mexico, and
when Edna spends her time with Robert.
Word Choice: Cliché, Vague
Language, and Passive Voice
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AVOID THE FOLLOWING OVERUSED PHRASES:
 Trouble in paradise
 Forever and ever
 Too good to be true
AVOID THE FOLLOWING VAGUE WORDS:
 THINGS
 REALLY, VERY
 NOBODY, ANYBODY, PEOPLE
Avoid passive voice.
Robert was affected by Edna’s decisions. PV
 Edna’s decisions affect Robert. AV
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Topic Sentences
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A good topic sentence encompasses all
ideas that will be discussed in the
paragraph.
How would we fix this?
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Edna is married to a Creole man who is
confident.
*This paragraph discusses the way in
which Edna does not give in to Leonce’s
wishes.
Answer:
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Though Leonce Pontellier, Edna’s
husband, is confident in his marriage,
Edna refuses to submit to his wishes.
Content reflecting thesis
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Your content must reflect the three
points you make in your thesis.
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Use your thesis as a guide when you
write your topic sentences.
Bad example
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Thesis: In Kate Chopin’s The Awakening, moral
characters can easily be identified by their actions,
their thoughts and beliefs about certain subjects,
and their appearances.
TS 1: In the 1900s, the rules of society had to be
followed.
TS 2: Women had no independence, and women
had to respect their husbands.
TS 3: Adele Ratignolle’s life is based around
morality.
Good example
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Thesis: Although Edna Pontellier discovers her
independence in Kate Chopin’s The Awakening,
her choices reflect her immorality through her
neglect for her children, her independent
behavior within society, and her infidelity.
TS 1: Edna’s independence becomes immoral
when she neglects her responsibility as a mother.
TS 2: Another way Edna’s independence causes
her to be immoral is her behavior in society.
TS 3: Edna’s new immoral independence
intensifies when she cheats on her husband with
Robert Lebrun and Alcee Arobin.
Conclusions

Edna Pontellier takes several steps to find her
independence in The Awakening, yet this freedom comes
at a price. Despite her duties as a mother and a wife, Edna
chooses to neglect them for the sake of discovering her
independence and feeling like an individual. As a mother,
Edna breaks away from the love that mothers should give
to their children and, instead, chooses to focus on her own
self. Within society, her newfound independence causes
her reputation to be destroyed and her morals to be
abandoned. Edna’s infidelity causes her to lose not only all
three of the men with whom she is involved but also
herself.
Activity!
Create groups of five.
 You will receive a passage to correct as a
group. Errors can include any mistakes
discussed in this PowerPoint.
 Rewrite corrected passages on board.
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