Transcript Finalizing the Proposal - CLAS Users

Finalizing the Proposal:
Formatting, Editing, and
Proofing
Speaking and Writing for
Engineers
Two major considerations
 Consistency
among sections (page layout,
headers/numbers, headings, Figure and
Table captions, proper use of
figures/tables)
 Common voice (Use company name or
”we” and “our”; avoid “I” and “you”)
Quality of writing style
 Lack
of transitions between
paragraphs/ideas
 Wordiness, passive voice, punctuation,
and parallel structure
Wordiness
 In
addition, it should be noticed that
TADMA Design has had experience in the
construction of various other recreational
facilities similar to the one desired by the
University of Florida.
Active voice:
 In
addition, TADMA Design has
constructed various other recreational
facilities similar to the one desired by the
University of Florida.
 The
creation of basketball courts and the
creation of a hurricane shelter in the
building are all measures to include the
community.
 XYZ
Engineering designed the basketball
courts and a hurricane shelter in the
building to include the community.
 This
is a device which creates a powerful,
invisible barrier which helps to maintain
the temperature indoors.
 This
device creates a powerful, invisible
barrier which maintains the temperature
indoors.
Passive voice
 Quality
assurance is given to the university
that the facility will be finished in a timely
manner and will meet all expectations.
 VG
Engineering assures the university that
the facility will be finished in a timely
manner and will meet all expectations.
 Work
patterns were reorganized to be
more responsive to design specifications.
 The
planning team reorganized work
patterns to be more responsive to design
specifications.
Punctuation
 This
is considered the north side of the
site, therefore, the evergreens function as
wind breaks, they calm winter winds and
reduce heating costs in the building.
 This
is considered the north side of the
site. The evergreens function as wind
breaks; they calm winter winds and reduce
heating costs in the building.
 This
facility will house state-of-the-art
technology, recreational equipment and
areas for socializing and eating.
 This
facility will house state-of-the-art
technology, recreational equipment, and
areas for socializing and eating.
Parallel structure
 Specific
details include the use of several
energy and water efficiency devices,
preserving key parts of the existing
landscape, and using native flora for
landscaping.
 Specific
details include using several
energy and water efficiency devices,
preserving key parts of the existing
landscape, and using native flora for
landscaping.
 TADMA
Design can also provide the
University of Florida with a facility that is
not only structurally exquisite, but also one
that is aesthetically pleasing.
 TADMA
Design can also provide the
University of Florida with a facility that is
not only structurally exquisite but also
aesthetically pleasing.
Proofing/Editing Issues
 Citations
match references
 Figures and tables match the List of
Tables and Figures
 All appendices are referenced in the
proposal
 Appendices are lettered consecutively
throughout the proposal
 Spelling/typos
 Missing words or lines
 Pages out of order
IEEE rules regarding numbers
 Never
begin a sentence with a numeral.
 Use words for numbers zero to ten (ex.:
two transistors)
 Use numerals for numbers 11 and above
(ex.: 250 stainless steel bolts)
 Use numerals when citing time, money, or
measurements (ex.: 10 m, 8 ft, 2 p. m.,
$3. 40)
IEEE rules regarding
abbreviations/acronyms
 Spell
out the term the first time you use it
in the document and put the abbreviation/
acronym in parentheses. Use the
abbreviation or acronym in all subsequent
references.
 Leadership
in Energy and Environmental
Design (LEED) -- first usage in document
 LEED – subsequent references
Affect versus Effect: Is this
correct???
 The
implementation of several
environmental systems will negate the
affects that building the ICBR recreational
facility might cause.