Transcript Islamic Parenting (cont.)

Family Circle Meeting #2
August 10, 2008
Topic
Family Dynamics in Islam
Presented by:
Nada Abdo :o)
Topics:
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Mothers (in Quran and Hadith)
Islamic Parenting
Children as mentioned in Quran
Rights of Children
Rights of Parents
Respect for Parents
Fathers
Closing Remarks: Questions/ Comments/
Discussion from Audience
Mothers
The Prophet Muhammad said:
“Your Heaven lies under the feet of your
mother (Ahmad, Nasai). Ask your mom to lift
her feet, so you can locate where Jannah is.
Then tell others about your discovery by
sharing what Islam has to say about moms
and their importance in our lives.”
Mothers: Quranic References
• 1. "We have enjoined on man
kindness to his parents; in
pain did his mother bear him,
and in pain did she give him
birth" (46:15).
• 2. "Thy Lord hath decreed
that ye worship none but
Him, and that ye be kind to
parents. Whether one or both
of them attain old age in thy
life, say not to them a word of
contempt, nor repel them,
but address them in terms of
honor. And out of kindness,
lower to them the wing of
humility, and say: ‘My Lord!
bestow on them Thy Mercy
even as they cherished me in
childhood' "(17:23-24).
Mothers: Hadith References
• 1. The Prophet Muhammad • 2. A man came to the Prophet
said, may Allah's peace and
and said, ‘O Messenger of God!
blessings be upon him: Your
Who among the people is the
Heaven lies under the feet of
most worthy of my good
your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).
companionship? The Prophet
said: Your mother. The man said,
‘Then who?' The Prophet said:
Then your mother. The man
further asked, ‘Then who?' The
Prophet said: Then your mother.
The man asked again, ‘Then
who?' The Prophet said: Then
your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
Mothers: Quranic References (cont.)
• “We have enjoined on man
and woman kindness to
parents; but if they (either
of them) strive (to force)
thee to join with Me
anything of which thou hast
no knowledge, obey them
not‘” (29:8).
• 4. "We have enjoined on
man and woman (to be
good) to his/her parents;
show gratitude to Me and
to thy parents; to Me is (thy
final) Goal. If they (parents)
strive to make thee join in
worship with Me things of
which thou hast no
knowledge, obey them not;
yet bear them company in
this life with justice (and
consideration) and follow
the way of those who turn
to Me (in love)" (31:14-15).
Mothers: Hadith References (cont.)
• 3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We
were once sitting with
Rasulullah when a man from
the tribe of Salmah came and
said to him: O Messenger of
Allah! do my parents have
rights over me even after they
have died? And Rasulullah
said: Yes. You must pray to
Allah to bless them with His
Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill
the promises they made to
anyone, and respect their
relations and their friends
(Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).
• 4. Abdullah ibn Amr related
that the Messenger of Allah
said: The major sins are to
believe that Allah has
partners, to disobey one's
parents, to commit murder,
and to bear false witness
(Bukhari, Muslim).
• 5. It is narrated by Asma bint
Abu Bakr that during the
treaty of Hudaibiyah, her
mother, who was then pagan,
came to see her from Makkah.
Asma informed the Messenger
of Allah of her arrival and also
that she needed help. He said:
Be good to your mother
(Bukhari, Muslim).
Mothers: Q&A
• Have you ever said “uff” to your mom?
– "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to
parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to
them a word of contempt (Uff), nor repel them, but address them in terms
of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say:
‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in
childhood' "(Quran 17:23-24).
• Do you disobey your mom?
– Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said, may Allah's
peace and blessings be upon him: The major sins are to believe that Allah
has partners, to disobey one's parents, to commit murder, and to bear false
witness (Bukhari, Muslim).
• Do you send your mom gifts?
– Aisha narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings
be upon him) said: Exchange gifts with one another, for they
remove ill feelings from the hearts (Tirmidhi).
Mothers: “What if….”
• If your mom is a non-Muslim
– If your mom is a non-Muslim, try fasting for a day (Nafil or extra
fasting), and keep thinking and praying for her. Ask Allah that He
guides her and ask Him what you can do to help her understand her
own Creator.
• If mom is not alive
– If your mom is not alive, visit her relatives and friends and ask what
you can do for them. Consider these two Hadiths (sayings of the
Prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him):
– The Messenger of Allah said: When a person dies, his actions come to
an end, except for three things: a continuing Sadaqa (charity),
knowledge from which benefit is still being derived, and a righteous
child who prays for her or him (translated meaning from Muslim).
– Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a
man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of
Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died?
And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His
Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and
respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).
Mothers: Hajj/Umra Lesson
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Muslims who perform the Hajj or Umra must run in the middle portion of the distance between Safa and Marwa seven times. Safa and
Marwa are two hills close to the Kaba. This is a commemoration of one mother's sacrifice for her son.
That mother was Hajira (may Allah be pleased with her). Her son was the Prophet Ismail (peace be upon him). Prophet Ibrahim (peace
be upon him) was Hajira's husband, and Ismail's father.
Hajira's example of sacrifice took place when she and her baby was left in the valley of Makkah by Allah's order as pioneers to start a
civilization.
Here was the wife of a Prophet, the princess of the king of Egypt, left with her child in the desert. All for the sake of pleasing our
Creator.
As Prophet Ibrahim headed for his next responsibility from Allah, he reached an area where Hajira and Ismail could not see him. At that
point, he turned back, raising his hands in Dua and said,
"O Our Lord! I have made of my offspring to dwell in a valley without cultivation by Your Sacred House; in order Our Lord, that they may
establish regular Prayer: so fill the hearts of some among men with love towards them, and feed them with fruits, so that they may give
thanks." (Quran 14:37).
Hajira returned to her place and started drinking water from the water-skin, and her milk increased for her child.
But when she had used up all of the water, she ascended the Safa hill and looked, hoping to see somebody.
The area was empty.
She came down and then ran up to Marwa hill. She ran to and fro (between the two hills) many times, then went to check on her baby
Ismail.
He was dying. And she could find no water for him or herself.
She could not watch her son perish. How could any mother?
'If I go and look, I may find somebody,' she told herself. Then she went and ascended the Safa hill and looked for a long while but could
not find anybody.
In all,Hajira ran seven rounds between Safa and Marwa, in the hot, waterless valley, where her thirsty baby lay.
She told herself to go back and check on Ismail. But suddenly she heard a voice: it was the Angel Jibreel.
'Help us if you can offer any help," she said to him.
The angel hit the earth with his heel and water gushed out. Hajira was astonished and started digging. Allah, as she had rightly
proclaimed, had not abandoned them.
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), in the Hadith in Bukhari in which much of this incident is narrated, said, "If she
(Hajira) had left the water, (flow naturally without her intervention), it would have been flowing on the surface of the earth."
Today we are bearing the fruits of this mother's struggle and sacrifice. Many of us drink and have drunk from the well of Zamzam. And
those of us who have made Hajj run in a much more comfortable way than Hajira ever did, between Safa and Marwa.
Her commitment to her son, her sense of urgency and her unshakable faith in Allah in such harsh circumstances are all examples of not
only what an excellent mother she was, but also what a strong believer in Allah she was.
If you're going to Hajj this year, Insha Allah, remember this incident and think of that great mother, in whose memory Muslims today
run between Safa and Marwa. Also think about your own mother, and how she too, would probably have done the same for you.
Islamic Parenting
• One of the greatest challenges a Muslim will
ever face is being a parent
• Allah tells us in the Quran that our children are
our trial and as such we should take the task of
parenting seriously, and start learning from
each other
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Compassion (Rehmat)
• Compassion is only one component of the concept of
mercy (Rehmat)
– Others include kindness, respect, and love. Prophet Muhammad
expressed disappointment when a Bedouin told him how he had
never kissed any of his ten children.
• Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
stated, "He is not of us who does not have compassion for
his fellow beings".
– It is interesting to note that when it comes to Hadith like this or
Quranic quotes dealing with human behavior, we never stop to
think that our children and family members are also our fellow
human beings and that these golden rules must also be applied
to them.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Consultation
• The Prophet has related that Allah says "Oh My servant. I
look on high handedness as something not permissible
for myself, and I have forbidden it for you. So do not
oppress each other".
• When we consult with each other in the domestic realm,
both husband and wife must show respect for each other.
This is one of the best ways to bond and to learn to listen
to each other and to resolve conflicts. However, the
consultation will only be fruitful if it is sincere and not
merely a formality. Imposition of one's ideas with scant
regard to the welfare of the whole family unit defeats the
purpose of the most important Quranic principle of
Shura.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Cooperation
• Sura Al-Asr best demonstrates the concept of
cooperation: "… counsel each other to the
truth (Haq), and counsel each other to patience
and fortitude (Sabr)".
• When a family unit cooperates in this manner,
they truly capture the spirit of Islam — the
welfare of each member of the family becomes
the concern of the other.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Commitment
• Family units should commit to Allah and His
Prophet(s): "Obey Allah and His Prophet and
those in authority over you" (Nisa).
• Collective commitment gives Muslim families
an identity and it allows them to map out
their purpose — that is, we all belong to Allah
and are accountable and responsible to Him.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
• Communication is more than talking. It is an essential part of family life. It is
both talking in a manner in which others can understand you, and hearing
in a manner in which you can listen and understand others.
• So many times people claim that they have no communication problem
since they are always talking. However, the majority of the time they are
talking "at" and not talking "to". This mode usually results in the recipient
tuning out. Many children at an early age learn to tune out their parents.
• When communication is a means to listening, understanding, and
exchanging ideas, it is the most powerful tool to effective parenting and the
best shield against peer and societal pressures.
• It also teaches children skills to problem solving. An important component
of positive communication is a sense of humor when parents and children
can laugh together. Communication can also be instrumental in passing
down family history and thus creating oneness and togetherness by sharing
a mutual heritage (children love to hear about family stories).
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
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Consistency
Effective parenting requires that we are consistent in our value judgments, discipline, and moral
standards. Many parents inadvertently apply double standards to boys and girls when it comes
to social behavior and domestic chores. This is unacceptable, and leads to sibling rivalry and
stereotypical males and females.
Confidentiality
Family is with whom we can feel safe and secure. Where we know our secrets are safe and
where there is mutual trust. Unfortunately, parents often betray the trust of their children when
they discuss their concerns, which they confide in them to outsiders. This leads to mistrust, and
sooner or later our children will stop confiding in us. This may take them to find confidants
outside the family, sometimes non-Muslim peers, and this can be detrimental to their spiritual
and moral growth.
Contentment (Tawakkul)
The greatest gift we can give our children is that of contentment. This can be developed very
early in life by encouraging our children to give thanks to Allah for all they have by discouraging
materialism by word and example, and by counting the blessings every night and remembering
the less fortunate.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
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Confidence
It is the duty of parents to build confidence in our children through
encouragement and honest and sincere praise. By developing confidence,
we give our children the courage to stand up for themselves and their
beliefs and to be able to deal with opposition.
Control
By teaching restraint and avoiding excess we develop in our children control
so that they do not become slaves to their desires (Nafs).
Calm
By encouraging and showing calm in matters of adversity and in times of
panic we improve our Taqwa (God consciousness) and teach our children to
rely on Allah and to turn to Allah alone for all needs.
Courage
Courage of conviction can only be achieved when we have been able to
teach our children true Islam. We should take advantage of every learning
opportunity as a family so that our faith (Iman) flourishes and evolves
towards Ihsan as a family unit. In this manner we can be a source of
strength to each other.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Critical Thinking
• The Quran encourages us over and over again to think, reflect, ponder,
understand and analyze. However, very rarely do. Parents must encourage
children to ask questions. Our response to difficult inquiries from our
children is to say "do it because I said so". This discourages the children
from developing critical thinking. They become lazy and complacent and
easy prey to cult type following. To take things at face value makes us
vulnerable.
Charitable
• The most important attitude of a Muslim personality is, as Prophet
Muhammad stated : "Do you not wish that Allah will forgive you? Then
forgive your brothers and sisters". Many relationships break because people
are not able to forgive each other. It is important that parents make up in
front of their children by forgiving each other after an argument. Prophet
Muhammad stated, "Like for your brother what you like for yourself". So if
husband and wife expect respect from each other they should give respect.
• A charitable nature also encourages us to overlook people with their
shortcomings and to be sensitive and to have empathy.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Competition
• In Hadith, the Prophet said: "Look up to one
who is greater in piety so you strive to be like
him and look upon one who is below you in
material status so that you may be thankful to
Allah's Grace".
• As a Muslim community we should strive to
teach our children to be weary of passing along
a competitive spirit to our children.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Corruption
• "If the truth was to follow their whims, the heaven and
earth and all their inhabitants would be corrupt" (Quran
part of 23:71).
• Weak Nafs and diseases of the heart lead to poor
character, which of course is the result of grudging
submission and conditional faith. When we corrupt our
Deen (religion) by picking and
• choosing what we want, practicing what suits us best and
resisting and outright opposing what does not suit our
fancy, we pay an enormous price by losing ourselves to the
Dunya, and driving our children away from Islam.
Islamic Parenting (cont.)
Avoid…
Carelessness
• As Prophet Muhammad reminded us in his last sermon
"Shaytan cannot mislead us in major issues of Faith but
in minor issues". This is where our carelessness and lack
of diligence can lead to weak character.
Colonization
• This is a mind set that many immigrant parents have
passed down to their children — a sense of inferiority, a
complex as such, that European and Western cultures
are superior and better than that of their country of
origin. This is a mentality that encourages imitation,
following and serving rather than leadership.
Children in the Quran
• The Qur'an uses various terms for children
– Dhurriyya, ghulām, ibn, walad, walīd, mawlūd, ṣabī, tifl, saghir
• Quran cautioned against several practices
towards children that existed in Pre-Islamic
Arabia:
– Infanticide
– Children as property
Children in the Quran (cont.)
Adoption:
• The Quran replaced the pre-Islamic custom of
adoption by the recommendation that
"believers treat children of unknown origin as
their brothers in the faith and clients".
Children in the Quran (cont.)
Breastfeeding:
• The Qur'an forbids sexual relations between
males and their milk-mothers or milk-sisters
(4:23).
• Verses 2:233 and 65:6 are aimed at protecting
lactating women and their nurslings by
guaranteeing them economic support from the
father for at least two years and by sanctioning
non-maternal nursing when needed.
Children in the Quran (cont.)
• Surah 2: 233 states that mothers and fathers
shall not have a burdens laid on them greater
than they can bear
– Mothers should breast-feed for 2 years and
fathers should bear the cost of the mother’s food
and clothing on a reasonable basis
– Neither Mothers nor fathers should not be treated
unfairly on account of their children
– If they both decide on weaning by mutual
consent, then there is no sin on them
Children in the Quran (cont.)
Fatherless Children
• The Qur'an in 19 verses forbids harsh and oppressive treatment of
orphan's children while urging kindness and justice towards them.
• Muhammad himself was an orphan and an early Qur'anic verse
93:6-8 celebrates God's providence and care towards him.
• Other Qur'anic verses identify those who repulse the orphan as
unbelievers (107:2) rebuke those who do not honor the orphans and
encourage the unbelievers to feed the orphans.
• The Qur'an speaks of the reward waiting for those who feed
orphans, poor and the prisoner for the love of God (76:8-9). It also
warns those who wrongfully consume the property of orphans that
they will be punished in the hereafter with "fire in their own
bellies".
• The Qur'an also gives concrete instructions to guardians regarding
the orphans, particularly on how to protect their wealth and
property rights.]
Children in the Quran (cont.)
Rights of Children
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Children have the right to be fed, clothed, and protected until they reach adulthood.
Children have the right to enjoy love and affection from their parents.
Children have the right to be treated equally, vis-a-vis their siblings in terms of
financial gifts.
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A tradition reports:
– Prophet Muhammad was reported as saying: "Be fair and just in terms of the
gifts you offer your children. If I was to give preference to any (gender over the
other) I would have preferred females over males (in terms of giving gifts)."
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Children have the right to education.
– A saying attributed to Muhammad relates: "A father gives his child nothing
better than a good education."
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Parents are recommended to provide adequately for children in inheritance.
Children in the Quran (cont.)
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The following anecdote demonstrates the rights of children:
– One day a man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab to complain of disobedient
son. So Umar had brought the boy to him and he blamed him for his
disobedience. Then the boy addressed Umar by saying "O Commander of
the faithful: Are there no rights for boy against his father?". Umar said
"yes". Then the boy said "What are these rights O Commander of the
Faithful?" Umar said, "To choose a good mother for him, to select good
name to him and to teach him the Quran" Then the boy said: "O
Commander of the faithful; my father has not accomplished any of these
rights. As for my mother, she was a black slave for a Magian; As for my
name, he has named me Jual (beetle); and he has not taught me even one
letter from the Quran". Then Umar turned round to the man and said "you
came to me complaining disobedience on the part of your son, whereas
you have not given him his rights. So you have made mistakes against him
before he has made mistakes against you".
Children and Adoptees
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By a verse in the Qur'an, Muhammad instructed adoptive parents to refer to their adoptive
children by the names of their biological parents, if known:
... Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner
of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call
them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their
father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you
if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is OftReturning, Most Merciful. (Qur'an 33:4-5)
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Islamic adoption is termed kafala, originating from a word meaning "to feed." In essence, it
describes more of a foster-parent relationship. Some other Islamic customs surrounding this
relationship are:
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An adopted child inherits from his or her biological parents, not automatically from the adoptive
parents.
When the child is grown, members of the adoptive family are not considered blood relatives, and are
therefore not muhrim to him or her. "Muhrim" refers to a specific legal relationship that regulates
marriage and other aspects of life. Essentially, members of the adoptive family would be permissible as
possible marriage partners, and rules of modesty exist between the grown child and adoptive family
members of the opposite sex.
If the child is provided with property/wealth from the biological family, adoptive parents are
commanded to take care and not intermingle that property/wealth with their own. They serve merely
as trustees.
Rights of Parents in Islam
• Parents are to be obeyed and respected by their children.
– The Prophet said thrice, "Should I inform you out the greatest of the
great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join others
in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." The Prophet
then sat up after he had been reclining (on a pillow) and said, "And I
warn you against giving a false witness", and he kept on saying that
warning till we thought he would not stop.
• The mother has the right to receive the best treatment than
accorded to any other person, in addition the mother has the right of
custody of the child in general circumstances.
• A man came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is
more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?"
The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The
Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?"
The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time,
"Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father.”
Rights of Parents in Islam (cont.)
• Parents have the right to spank those of their children above the age of ten
years who neglect in performing Islamic prayers in Sunni Islam.
• Regarding those who would spank children a fatwa of the Mufti
Kafaayatullah provides as follows: ‘Excluding the face and sensitive parts of
the body, it is allowed to beat a child for the purposes of discipline so long
as the limits are not transgressed. i.e. to beat the child in a manner that a
wound is inflicted, or a bone fractured or broken, or a bruise appears or an
internal disorder results (to the heart or brains, etc.). If the limits are
transgressed as described above in any way, even by a single stroke, such a
person will be regarded as sinful.’
• Parents have the right to rebuke their children to protect them from
physical or moral harm.
• Parents have the right to be looked after by their children, and to receive
physical or financial help as necessary, especially in their old age.
Respect for Parents
• The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the
Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children
to recognize and to appreciate the care and love they have
received from their parents.
– "We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents." [Quran 29:8
and 46:15]
– "And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel,
(saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents..."
[Quran 2:83]
– In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The Women) Allah emphasizes again that children
should be kind to their parents: "And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as
partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents... " [Quran 4:36]
– The same directive is repeated again In Surah Al An'Am (The Cattle),
where Allah says: "Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your
Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as
partner unto Him and that you do good to parents..." [Quran 6:151]
Respect for Parents (cont.)
• Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes immediately after praying
to Allah and before Jihad (struggle and striving in the way of Allah).
• The Prophet said the following:
– Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (May Allah be pleased with him)
saying: I asked the Prophet , "which deed is more liked by Allah?" He replied, "Prayers on
time." Then I asked, "Which one is next?" He said, "Goodness to parents." Then I asked,
"Then which one is next?" He said, "Jihad in the way of Allah." (Agreed)
• In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his wealth are
considered to be the property of the parents. The Prophet said:
– Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the Prophet to resolve his dispute with his
father regarding a loan given to the father. The Prophet said to the person, "You and your
wealth are to your father."
Respect for Parents (cont.)
Children should honor their parents even after they have
passed away. Quran teaches us to:
• Make daily Du'a (prayer) for them
• Give a charity on their behalf
• Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf - such as a Masjid,
an Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an Islamic hospital, an
orphanage, a senior citizen's home, etc.
• Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do so.
• Read Quran on their behalf
• Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf
Fathers
• Marriage is ordained and adultery is forbidden so that
paternity may be established without doubt or ambiguity.
• Through marriage a woman is reserved for one man; it is
haram for her to be unfaithful to him or to let anyone else
have access to what belongs exclusively to him. Thus, every
child born to her in wedlock will be her husband's child.
• "The child is attributed to the one on whose bed it is born,"
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim. Literally: "The child
belongs to the bed.") declared the Prophet of Islam (peace be
on him).
Fathers
• If a man is convinced or strongly suspects, although without having proof,
that his wife has had sexual relations with another man and is carrying his
child, he can take the case to a Muslim judge (qadi).
• According to Surah al-Nur: As for those who accuse their wives but have no
witnesses except themselves, the testimony of one of them shall consist
of bearing witness by Allah four times that he is of the truthful, and a fifth
(time) that the curse of Allah be upon him if he is one of those who lie.
And it shall avert the punishment from her if she bear witness by Allah
four times that he is indeed of those who lie, and a fifth (time) that the
wrath of Allah be upon her if he is among the truthful. (24:6-9)
• After this the two shall be separated permanently, and the child shall be
identified by the name of his or her mother.
Fathers
• Nor has He made your adopted sons your (real) sons; that is
simply a saying of your mouths. But Allah speaks the truth,
and He guides you to the (right way). Call them by (the
names of) their fathers; that is more just in the sight of
Allah. But if you do not know their fathers, they are your
brothers-in-faith and your wards....(33:4-5)
• Islam abolished all the effects of this system of adoption
which relate to inheritance and to prohibition of marriage to
the widowed or divorced wife of the adopted son. In matters
of inheritance, the Qur'an does not recognize any claim
except those based on relationship through blood and
marriage: ...But blood relatives are nearer to each other in
the ordinance of Allah....(8:75)
Fathers
• With regard to marriage, The Qur'an declared that
only the wives of one's real sons, "the wives of your
sons who are from your (own) loins" (4:23), not the
wives of the adopted sons, are permanently
forbidden in marriage. Accordingly, it is permissible
for a man to marry the divorced wife of his adopted
son, since she has been, in actuality, the wife of a
"stranger" not related by blood.
Fathers
• "I, and the one who raises an orphan, will be like
these two in the Garden” (Hadith)
• Quran encourages us to treat orphans like our own
children – feed, educate, protect, and love them
• If a man has no children of his own, and he wishes to benefit
such a child from his wealth, he may give him whatever he
wants during his lifetime and may also bequeath to him up to
one-third of his inheritance before his death.
Fathers
• Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas narrated that the Prophet
(peace be on him) said, If someone claims a
person as his father with the knowledge that
he is not his father, the Garden will be
forbidden to him. (Reported by al-Bukhari and
Muslim.)
Fathers
• Your children have the right of receiving equal treatment, as
you have the right that they should honor you. (Reported by
Abu Daoud) "Fear Allah and treat your children with equal
justice." (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
• Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal said that preferential treatment of a
child is permitted if he or she is handicapped while others are
not. (a handicap, blindness, his or her being from a large
family, being engaged in studies, etc.)
• It is also permitted to withhold from a child who would spend
what he is given on sinful or wicked things.
Fathers and Mothers
• Pleasing one's parents is considered so important in
Islam that the son is forbidden to volunteer for jihad
without his parent's permission
• According to Hadith:
– A man came to the Prophet (peace be on him) and said, 'I
have come to swear allegiance to you for hijrah, and I
have left my parents weeping.' The Prophet (peace be on
him) said to him, 'Return to them and make them laugh
as you made them weep.' (Reported by al-Bukhari and
others.)
The End!
Questions/ Comments???