Transcript Fostering, Maintaining, and Repairing Relationships

Fostering, Maintaining, and
Repairing Relationships
Maintaining Relationships
• Maintenance – actions and activities used
to sustain desired relational qualities.
Strategies
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Joint Activities
Attending to partner
Accommodative behavior
Positive Attributions
Sharing Tasks
Strategies
• Humor
• Encourage Disclosure
• Avoidance
What are the ways in which people
can repair relationships?
Professional Help in Maintenance –
Premarital Programs
• Couples Communication Program
• Training in awareness and expression of
thoughts, feelings, and intentions
• Training in better communication
• Training types of communication
• Training to build self-esteem
Premarital Programs
• Premarital Relationship Improvement by
Maximizing Empathy and Self-Disclosure
(PRIMES)
• Better communication (I feel…)
• Training in empathic responding
• When to switch from expressive mode to
responding mode
• How to facilitate communication
Premarital Programs
• Premarital Relationship Enhancement
Program (PREP)
• Learning to monitor behaviors
• Learning what behaviors are pleasing and
displeasing to partner
• Making contractual agreements about
changes in behavior
Marital Enrichment Programs
• Every relationship can become more
satisfying
• Preventative measure
Effectiveness of Premarital and
Marital Enrichment Programs
• In general, moderately successful
• The longer the program, the more
successful it is
• Over time the benefits deteriorate
• PREP is good up to 5 years
• Sometimes damaging.
Psychodynamic Approaches
• People act out unconscious conflicts with
mate
• Unconscious conflicts stem from events
that took place in a person’s family of
origin
• Therapeutic goal is to gain insight into
conflicts
Rogerian
• People crave love and acceptance
• A person may create a false self to receive
love
• Rogerian therapists help clients discover
true selves through empathy and
acceptance
• Ex: CRE program
Systems Approaches
• A focus on the individual’s differentiation
from the family system
• Emphasis on communication
• Structure of relationship system
• Unhealthy people reflect unhealthy but
stable relationship systems
Behavioral
• A distressed marriage is defined in terms
of a low level of reinforcing exchanges
between partners
• Positive behaviors must be increased
• Good communication and problem solving
skills
• Contracts
Cognitive
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Addresses unrealistic expectations and
causal attributions
Dysfunctional expectations:
1) Disagreement is destructive.
2) Mindreading is expected.
3) Partners cannot change
4) Sex must be perfect.
5) Men and women are too different.
Cognitive
• Causal Attributions
• Internal vs. External
• Stable vs. Temporary
Recent Directions: EFT
• Emotionally Focused Therapy
• Based on Attachment
1) de-escalate problematic interaction
cycles
2) Create emotional engagement
3) Create new interaction patterns
Success of Professional Help
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Treatment Efficacy
Effectiveness studies
Therapy works!
No orientation is better than another
Communication important
Therapist’s skill important