Transcript Ch12a_Interplay11 - Forensic Consultation

Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
CHAPTER 12
Communication in Families and at Work
Interplay
Section 1
COMMUNICATION IN FAMILIES
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
What is a family?
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Family (Galvin): System
with two or more
interdependent people
who have a common
history and a present
reality, and who expect to
influence each other in the
future.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Interplay
Section 2
TYPES OF FAMILY COMMUNICATION
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Avoidance (Lose-Lose)
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Avoidance: When people
nonassertively ignore or stay
away from conflict.
Pessimistic attitude about conflict.
Avoiders put up with the status
quo.
Leads to unsatisfying
relationships.
Avoidance can help when:
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risk of speaking up is too great
when the conflict isn’t worth the
effort
when the issue is temporary
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Spouses/Partners
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Three couple types (Fitzpatrick)
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Independents
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Separates
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Physically close; psychologically
distant.
Don’t avoid conflict
Low marital satisfaction/affection
Individual freedom
Conflict-avoidant
Low marital satisfaction/affection
Traditionals
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Interdependence
Avoid conflict
High marital satisfaction, affection
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Spouses/Partners
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20% traditionals
18% separates
22% independents
40% mixed
Traditional partners:
Highest marital
satisfaction; greater
fulfillment of expression
Mixed couples similar.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Spouses/Partners
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Gender role
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Feminine communication
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Masculine communication
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Instrumental, task-related
topic; low in emotional
content
Androgynous communication
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High expressiveness, low
instrumentality
High in emotional and
instrumental messages
Undifferentiated
communication
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Low instrumentality/
expressiveness
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Spouses/Partners
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Research
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Study of 200 couples
Gender-typed pairs:
Lower level of satisfaction
than androgynous pairs
Lowest level of love and
satisfaction: stereotypical
feminine and masculine
relationships
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Parent/Child
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Daily tasks in the
household jump from 6
to 36 after child’s birth.
Patterns of interaction
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Communication
becomes more
complicated with arrival
of the first child.
Three different dyads
occur
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Parent/Child
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Managing the
connection-autonomy
dialect
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“Hold me tight.”
“Put me down.”
“Leave me alone.”
Vacillates at different
stages of growth.
After children are
“launched,” couples
have to re-negotiate
their “couple-ness.”
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Siblings
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Communication
strategies
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Confirmation
Humor
Social support
Escape
Three dimensions of
interaction explain
sibling communication
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Affection
Hostility
Rivalry
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Siblings
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Siblings offer vital
support through life.
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Sharing tasks
Expressing positivity
Offering assurances
Talking about family,
reminiscing about
childhood
Sharing stories
… all help clarify
family events and
validate feelings and
life choices
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Interplay
Section 3
ELEMENTS OF
FAMILY COMMUNICATION
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Families as Communication Systems
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Family members are
interdependent
A family is more than the
sum of its parts
Families have systems
within the larger system
Family systems are
affected by their
environment
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Roles
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Role are based on kinship.
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Kinship role is culturallybased
Functional roles: who doe
what within the family
Social roles: harmonizer,
problem solver, tension
reliever, etc.
Role expectations are
conveyed through
communication
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Family Narratives
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Narratives
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Reaffirm family’s identity by
reinforcing shared goals
Teach moral values
Stress family concerns
Reflect how members feel
about each other
Reflect how to operate in the
world
Dysfunctional families can
be united by a shared
narrative.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Models for Other Relationships
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Experiences in our family of
origin share the way we
communicate throughout life.
Research:
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Levels of hostility and positive
engagement at 14 linked with
same 17 years later
Culturally-based
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North America:
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Emotional support and loyalty
comes from a limited number of
people; children more self-reliant
Mexico, Latin America, Africa,
Asia
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Support and loyalty extend
beyond immediate family.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Communication Rules
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Families have many rules
governing communication
among members and with
outsiders.
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Who may speak or to whom
How one speaks
Topic of conversation
Maintaining opennesscloseness dialect difficult in
stepfamilies
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Communication Rules
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Fitzpatrick & Koerner:
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Conversation orientation
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Degree to which families favor an open climate of discussion of
a wide array of topics
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High: Frequent, free interaction, spontaneous, without limitations.
Low: Less exchange of private thoughts.
Conformity orientation
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Degree to which family communication stresses uniformity of
attitudes, values, beliefs.
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High: Seek harmony, conflict avoidance, interdependence, obedience;
hierarchical; conflict is avoiding and obliging.
Low: Individuality, interdependence, equality; individual growth
encouraged.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Communication Rules
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Families high in conversation orientation/conformity orientation
families: consensual
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Families high in conversation orientation and low in conformity:
pluralistic
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Open, unrestrained communication; contributions evaluated on own merits.
Families low in conversation orientation/high in conformity
orientation: Protective
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Communication reflects tension between pressure to agree and preserve
the hierarchy and interest in open communication and exploration.
Communication reflects obedience to authority; reluctance to share
thoughts, feelings.
Families low in conversation orientation and conformity
orientation: laissez-faire
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Lack of involvement, emotionally divorced, decision-making is
individual.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Interplay
Section 4
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
IN FAMILIES
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Strive for Closeness
While Respecting Boundaries
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Too much cohesion can be a
problem
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Disengaged
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Disconnected, limited attachment/
commitment
Creating boundaries
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Enmeshed: Too much consensus, too
little independence
Physical
Conversational
Emotions
Handling of topics
Define boundaries
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Requires open negotiation; happen
through trial and error
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Strive for a Moderate Level
of Adaptability
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Adaptability too high:
Chaotic family
Adaptability too low: Rigid
family
Avoidance of extremes
dictates functionality
Families function best with
moderate levels
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Encourage Confirming Messages
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Confirming behaviors of mothers
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Disconfirming behaviors
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Telling children they are unique and valuable as human beings
Genuinely listening to children when told something of importance
Belittling children
Making statements that communicate their ideas don’t count
Adolescents who receive confirmation are more open
communicators.
Gottman: Couples should have an appropriate ratio of positiveto-negative messages (5:1).
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Deal Constructively with Conflict
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Beware of destructive conflict:
Physical or verbal aggression
Family conflict should be dealt with
Unresolved conflict creates tensions
Key is how the conflict is dealt with:
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Don’t sweat the small stuff
Focus on manageable issues
Share appreciations and gripes
Seek win-win solutions
Research:
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Positive conflict standards are good
predictors of family satisfaction.
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.
Interplay
END OF SECTION
CHAPTER CONTINUES
WITH PART TWO
Interplay, Eleventh Edition, Adler/Rosenfeld/Proctor
Copyright © 2010 by Oxford University Press, Inc.