Transcript COMMUNICATION IN EVERYDAY LIFE

COMMUNICATION IN
EVERYDAY LIFE
The Conditions for
Effective Communication
Lecture 13c
COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVNESS:
SKILLS ABOUT SKILLS
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additon to being
MINDFUL, FLEXIBLE, METACOMMUNICATORS
To be truly effective we need the way we
think – to shift our mindset – shift the
taken-for-granted assumptions, ideas and
attitudes with which we usually approach
situations and other people – to the
Appreciative mind set
A Mind Set of Appreciation
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A mind set of appreciation involves three things
Seeking full understanding – “I appreciate your
situation” requires Mindfulness – paying attention.
Valuing and honouring the other – “I appreciate
you.”
The third meaning of appreciate – “things
appreciate in value” – we translate this as a
commitment on our part to add value in the
moment to increase our own and the other’s sense
of worth.
Appreciative Mind Set and Talk
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And in terms of adding value to a situation –
these first two aspects of the Appreciation
certainly help – but, in addition, what if we
also chose to see the value in every situation
- see what’s working instead of focus on
what’s failing.
 To see the useful, desirable or positive
aspects of every situation
 To speak in ways that call these out in the
other
Talking Appreciatively and
Effectively:
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The Humanistic Model of Communication
A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
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HUMANISTIC MODEL CONSIDERS
GENERAL, IDEAL QUALITIES:
FIVE
1. OPENNESS
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BILATERAL/RECIPROCAL
ABILITY TO REACT HONESTLY TO MESSAGES
OWNING OF THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
2. EMPATHY
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TO FEEL AND EXPERIENCE FROM OTHER’S VIEWPOINT
A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
3. SUPPORTIVENESS:
3A. DESCRIPTION vs. JUDGMENT
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DESCRIBE WHAT HAPPENED - DON’T EVALUATE
DESCRIBE HOW YOU FEEL - DON’T BLAME
EXPLAIN HOW THIS RELATES TO THE OTHER PERSON
3B. PROVISIONALISM vs. CERTAINTY
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HAVING, OPEN-MINDED ATTITUDE
WILLINGNESS TO HEAR OPPOSING VIEWS
A HUMANISTIC MODEL OF
INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS
4. POSITIVENESS:
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POSITIVE ATTITUDE vs. CRITICAL ATTITUDE
OPEN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT vs. SILENCE
5. EQUALITY:
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GIVE OTHER PERSON UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD
vs. ACTING IN A SUPERIOR WAY
SHARING SPEAKING AND LISTENING - SHOWING RESPECT
BY TAKING TURNS
SOLVING PROBLEMS vs. WINNING