Transcript Improving Descriptive Writing

Improving Descriptive
Writing
Painting an Original Picture
Purpose of Being Descriptive
 Engages and entertains reader
 Conveys honest interpretation of an
event/item
Keys of Being Descriptive
 Be original and creative
 Use the senses (SHOW, DON’T TELL)
 Use strong verbs
 For example, instead of this:
 Try this:

itselfsun
on a
• The
The sun
hot,cut
yellow
sharp
peak and
went behind
thebled
into
the valley.—John
mountain
and covered
Steinbeck
the valley in red.
Step One: Use the Senses
 Taste
 Sight
 Smell
 Sound
 Feel
 And don’t jump to the
obvious.
 I know what color GRASS
is; I want to know what is
smells like and feels like.
 I know what VANILLA
tastes like; I want to know
what it sounds like.
Step One: Use the Senses
 The less obvious it is, the more you tap into
your reader’s true understanding of an
object. (and, it’s more entertaining for the
reader!)
– No one thinks about what the sun tastes like!
– No one thinks about what green smells like!
– No one thinks about what hair sounds like!
Step One: Use the Senses
Practice
 In five sentences, write what you think:
– A doctor’s office smells like
– Fire tastes like
– Rain feels like on a summer day
– Fear sounds like
– A movie theatre sounds like
– A sunset looks like
Metaphors and similes work really well!!
How’s This?
 She was super hero beautiful. Her hair was
as black as coal, her lips red as blood.
Is it original and creative?
Clichés: The Descriptive Killer
 1 : a trite phrase or expression; Also : the
idea expressed by it
 2 : something (as a menu item) that has
become overly familiar or commonplace
Finding Clichés Through
Experience
 If you have seen it
 Or heard it
 It’s probably a cliché
Finding Clichés Through Others
 Ask someone really old
 (You know, anyone over 21)
Finding Clichés On-line
 Choose a keyword to look up
 Go to a cliché website and look up the
keyword
 Cliché finder is one of the best places to look:
http://www.westegg.Com/cliche/
 You may have to try more than one keyword
Fixing Clichés
 Identify the clichés
 Replace them with more descriptive writing
– Think of a new comparison
– Look up words in a thesaurus
– www.m-w.com
A Little Practice
 Each of you will be given a poem
 Identify ALL the clichés
 Replace half of them (you can choose the easiest
ones if you’d like)
 Don’t worry about making it rhyme
 We’ll do the first stanza together
Which of the following do think are clichés?
She’s as pure
pure as
as the
the driven
driven snow,
snow,
Her face is as white as a sheet,
Her hands are as smooth as silk,
Her nails as red as a beet.
Same Old New Girl
She’s as pure as the driven snow,
Her face is as white as a sheet,
Her hands are as smooth as silk,
Her nails as red as a beet.
Her
But
I’m
And
Her hair is like the golden sun,
Her eyes blue like the sky,
She’s as beautiful as an angel,
and as hot as a firecracker on the
4th of July.
They say she’s one in a million,
But I don’t believe what they say.
If she’s all that and a bag of chips,
Why say it with a cliché?
Her
Her
Her
But
beauty may be skin deep,
her mind is as sharp as a knife.
just small potatoes,
she seems larger than life
temper is as quick as lightning,
hatred cold as ice,
laughter is loud and clear,
her crying is as quiet as mice.
Assignments turned in tomorrow at the beginning of
class will be eligible for full credit
Step Two: Examine the verbs
 Verb create action and enhance the visual
you’ve created with the senses
– There are DULL verbs and there are STRONG
verbs
Dull Verbs
 To be verbs (am, are, is, was, were, been
being)
– You can use these, but they typically only tell
the reader something
I was walking down the street.
She was crying in the corner.
Dull Verbs
 Some other common boring verbs:
be, do, get,
go, have, make,
put, run, see,
take, talk, use
Again, these verbs only tell the reader what is
happening. The writer provides no
opportunity to visualize the scene.
Use Active Verbs
 I walked down the street.
– I dragged my feet over the gravel road,
searching for a drop of water.
 She was crying in the corner.
– Her whole body shook as she sobbed into her
hand.
Practice!
 She jumped with excitement.
 The mouse ran across the floor.
 He was smiling as she spoke.
 The children played on the playground.