Transcript Grammar Maid Plane (Slideshow)

Grammar Maid Plane
Made Plain—and most of it is not grammar
Introduction
O Composition books a plague upon the land
O Major publishing venture
O Many purchased, few are read
O Many vilified—Strunk & White:
. . . both authors were grammatical
incompetents. Strunk had very little
analytical understanding of syntax, White
even less. Certainly White was a fine
writer, but he was not qualified as a
grammarian.
Geoffrey K. Pullum, head of Linguistics and
English language, University of Edinburgh
Good ones?
O Canadian Writer’s Handbook, Messenger et
al.
O Young writers need extensive feedback on
many levels
O The task for teachers is very demanding
O They may need tightly-focused lessons
offering them details of composition they
may not have abstracted from their reading
O They may even need some new terms and
categories to work with
Topics
1. Grammatical Bugbears
2. Diction: Clarity vs. Clichés
3. Sentence Length: Coherence and Purpose
4. Argument and Evidence
Bugbears
(illus. Sir John Tenniel, Alice in
Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.)
What Are Bugbears?
O Grammatical howlers, frequently merely
conventional or formal errors
O Many do not impair the effectiveness of the
communication
O Do we have to judge them?
O Consider:
Hamlet was suppose to chastise his
mother and kill his uncle, but his
essentially contemplative nature
prevented him from taking effective
action until events outpaced him.
A Sad History of Prejudice
O Some bugbears are artificial—


O
O
O
beginning a sentence with “because”
“splitting the infinitive”
Language is constantly changing (“literally”
means “figuratively”!)
HOWEVER, a minimal level of competence is
necessary to ensure a fair hearing for your
students
“Status markers” will overshadow a writer’s
accomplishment . . .
Where Writing Places You
In an
office
making
decisions
...?
On a
porch
playing
the banjo
...?
Grammatical Bugbears
O Cannot be ignored (“use to,” “should of,”
“with regards to”)
O Will always overshadow genuine
achievement to some degree
O Technology cannot yet save us--
MS Word May Not Help!
MS Word May Not Help!
Finding Bugbears
2. Diction
O By this point, young writers have completed
an apprenticeship during which
expansiveness and dilation have been
emphasized over precision and economy
O It is time to require them to choose
O The right words and
O Words they know and can use well.
Clichés
•
•
•
•
At the end of the day
Fairly unique
I personally
At this moment in
time
• With all due respect
• It comes down to
•
•
•
•
•
•
Absolutely
It’s a nightmare
Shouldn’t of
24/7
It’s not rocket science
The bigger picture
• “The bigger picture”
Vague Phrasal Verbs
“Of course, the heartbreaking lyrics of dying
love are something which almost everyone
can relate to.”
O “relate to,” “relatable”
O What can it mean?
O Adam Hooks of the University of Iowa:
"'Relatable' is a sign of a failure to engage
with the work or text, a failure to get beyond
one's own concerns to confront the
unfamiliar and the uncomfortable.”
O the term has come replace analysis or
argument
Novelty & Vocabulary
O “make it new” is not the always best advice
for selecting words
O Accuracy and familiarity (of individual words,
not phrases) are crucial
O The evil comes from overly familiar phrases
and unnecessarily obscure words
Complex Diction
O What do people REALLY think of overly
complex diction?
Consequences
of Erudite
Vernacular
Utilized
O D. Oppenheimer, Stanford U (2003):
O people who use unnecessarily
complicated
Irrespective
of Necessity:
language are viewed as less intelligent than
people who use more familiar language
Problems With Using
Long Words Needlessly
Effective Diction
Diction should be . . .
O
As simple as the subject permits (but no
The aforementioned
contretemps makes
simpler!)
Cordelia
bad about things.
O
As feel
freshreally
as possible
O
Exact and concrete
O
Appropriate to the audience and the
writer
Ready-Made Phrases
O Like Frankenstein's monster, "ready-made"
writing is stitched together out of dead
parts.
O Avoid phrases that “sound appropriate”
O Use only words you need—and your
audience understands
Basic Inflation
•
•
•
•
•
•
Based on the fact that
Due to the fact that
Exhibit a tendency to
For the purpose of
For the reason that
In spite of the fact
that
Because
Because
Tend to
For
Because
Although
Ready-mades
O to the extent that
O plays a leading role in
O on a daily basis
O the fact that
O in the event that
Other Types of Repetition
Pointless bifurcation:
O basic and fundamental
O last and final
O issues and concerns
O full and complete
Other Types of Repetition
Redundant Phrasal Verbs:
O erode away
O continue on
O circulate around
O enter into
Other Types of Repetition
Redundant Adjectives/Adverbs
O future plans
O consensus of opinion
O especially unique
O potential hazard
O final outcome
Nominalizations
O Verbs turned into nouns, often using
suffixes:
O -ation
O -ment
O -ance
O -sion
An Exercise
O Require students to deliver a simple
message using ONLY a few you select
together with the words from the lists of trite
and wordy expressions
O Award a prize for the “most dilated and
obfuscated” message
O A fun and useful way to discuss wordiness
and pomposity
Why Wordiness?
O Most of these choices are the result of
“length anxiety”
O From early grades, length is the measure of
achievement
O Students learn to pad—to be honest, we
teach them to do it
3. Length & Coherence
O Students are urged to vary the form and
O
O
O
O
length of their sentences
Length in the wrong place is dangerous
Proceed with caution
Selecting length with a clear purpose is one
challenge
Give students lots of practice in this
LENGTH
8 words
11 words
14 words
17-19 words
21-24 words
25-28 words
29+ words
QUALITY
very easy
easy
fairly easy
standard
fairly difficult
difficult
very difficult
Why Variety?
O There should be a relationship between the
length of a sentence and its purpose
O Variety for its own sake is not enough
O A long sentence should be long for a reason.
...
Length: Accumulatio
Why dost thou converse with that trunk of
humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness,
that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge
bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of
guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with
the pudding in his belly, that reverend Vice,
that grey Iniquity, that father Ruffian, that
Vanity in years?
1 Henry IV, 2.5.409-14
Accumulatio—and Contrast
Falstaff is not evil because of his ambition,
but because of his gluttony, his sloth, his
skill at concealing the truth, his reluctance
to recognize his vice, his inability to reform
himself, and his ability to make all of this
seem humorous and attractive.
He makes a bad companion for Hal.
Contrasting Brevity
Macbeth seeks out the Weird Sisters, hoping
for certainty in the face of the growing chaos
that threatens to destroy his tumultuous
newly-stolen kingdom. He does not find it.
Sentence 1 is
sentence 2
squared (25
and 5 words)
Variety in Length
O More gradual variations in length are
possible
O A number of short sentences in succession
can create a feeling of urgency in a narrative
or passion in an argument
O Increasing length of successive sentences
can build to the climax of an argument
O At the higher levels, variations in length
should always reflect the rhetorical goal
Long, Graceful Sentences
O A long sentence should still be readable
O Key tactic: Move from subject to verb quickly
O Avoid delaying the subject-verb progression
with long intervening elements
O A sentence which moves from subject to
verb rapidly will still be readable even when
it is quite long
Long Subject
Explaining why Shakespeare decided to have
Lady Macbeth die offstage rather than letting
the audience see her die has to do with
understanding the audience’s reactions to
Macbeth’s death.
Long Subject
Explaining why Shakespeare decided to have
Lady Macbeth die offstage rather than letting
the audience see her die has to do with
understanding the audience’s reactions to
Macbeth’s death.
18-word
subject—in a
29-word
sentence !
To the Subject and Beyond
Because Shakespeare wanted the audience to
focus on Macbeth’s death, he decided to have
Lady Macbeth die offstage.
1. Turn a long subject into an
introductory clause
2. You do not have to state
“explaining why” because you
ARE explaining why!
3. Don’t waste time telling the reader
that you WILL say something—
later.
Improving a Long Sentence
Not extreme—14/36—
but awkward
Evidence in the dialogue between Hamlet and
his mother, Gertrude, for his incestuous
feelings included the authority he assumes
over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his
focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.
The list itself is fine—
good, parallel items.
Improving a Long Sentence
Evidence in the dialogue between Hamlet and
his mother, Gertrude, for his incestuous
feelings included the authority he assumes
over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his
focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.
Some unnecessary
overhead—”evidence in
the dialogue”—and a
weak verb (“included”)
Trimming
between Hamlet and
his mother, Gertrude, for his incestuous
feelings
the authority he assumed
over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his
focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.
Now make Hamlet and
Gertrude ACTORS in
the sentence. . . .
Making Hamlet Act
Hamlet shows his incestuous feelings for
Gertrude through the authority he assumes
over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his
focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.
Now make Hamlet and
Gertrude ACTORS in
the sentence. . . .
Good and Long
O Long sentences can be highly readable—
especially if the subject of the main clause
is brief and clear
O Get the reader to the verb quickly
O Coordination and subordination can extend
the readable length
O Skilful parallelism uses the reader’s
expectations to extend the sentence
intelligibly
How to Ruin a Sentence
O Counterintuitive exercise
O Take a good, clear sentence—and ruin it by
relying on nominalizations
O Nominalizations are nouns created from
verbs (as in Sample Exercise 3)
Nominalizations
allocation
allocate
assessment
assess
compliance
comply
determination
determine
expectations
expect
exposure
expose
[had] hopes [of]
hoped
A Good Start
STRONG
VERB
Hagar first fails her father, Jason Curry.
ACTOR as
SUBJECT
A Good Start
Hagar failure
fails her father, Jason Curry.
NOMINALIZATION
Rebuild the sentence
around “failure”
. . . Turned Bad
failure
Six-word subject
before weak verb “is”
The first failure that Hagar
experiences is in regard to her
father, Jason Curry.
Clumsy “in regard to”
link
How Bad Is It?
O Turning 7 words into 14 words is not the end
of the world, BUT
O habitual nominalization destroys good, clear
writing
O DOUBLING the length without increasing the
content is unforgiveable
O Remember George Orwell’s old joke. . . .
Objective considerations of
contemporary phenomena compel
the conclusion that success or
failure in competitive activities
exhibits no tendency to be
commensurate with innate capacity,
but that a considerable element of
the unpredictable must invariably
be taken into account.
I returned and saw under the sun,
that the race is not to the swift, nor
the battle to the strong, neither yet
bread to the wise, nor yet riches to
men of understanding, nor yet favour
to men of skill; but time and chance
happeneth to them all.
Passage 1:
Passage 2:
• 38 words of 90
syllables
• vocabulary: educated
(18 from Latin roots, 1
from Greek)
• no clear images
• 49 words with 60
syllables
• vocabulary:
everyday life
• 6 simple, vivid
images
4. Argument & Evidence
• Close work with the text is crucial
• Three basic techniques:
Block quotations
2. Embedded quotations
3. Paraphrase
1.
Block Quotations
144 words—
As this passage reveals, the description of the setting of "The
my goodness!
Lottery" is deceptively pleasant:
The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the
fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were
blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green. The
people of the village began to gather in the square, between
the post office and the bank, around ten o'clock; in some
towns there were so many people that the lottery took two
days and had to be started on June 26th, but in this village,
where there were only about three hundred people, the
whole lottery took less than two hours, so it could begin at
ten o'clock in the morning and still be through in time to allow
the villagers to get home for noon dinner. (782)
There is no indication of the dark meaning of this gathering.
Bulk Quotation
O Not only is this overkill, but it fails to
emphasize the key details
O All we know is that something is missing
from the passage: a sinister note
O Need we read the whole passage for this?
Embedded Quotation/Paraphrase
57 words—
And more
The setting of "The Lottery," evocative of
analysis!
flowers, green grass, and "the fresh
warmth of a full-summer day," is
deceptively pleasant. A small crowd forms
in the square, amiably confident that their
business will soon be finished, allowing
them "to get home for noon dinner" (782);
there is no indication of the dark purpose
of this gathering.
Less Is More
O The specific details are highlighted by being
separated from the original passage
O The passage is shorter and contains more
editorial comment
O There is no interruption in the flow of the
argument
O Advantages over “pure paraphrase”?
Pure Paraphrase
35 words—
But a little
flat!
The opening description of the gathering
of the villagers in Jackson's "The Lottery"
is filled with references to summer
growth and minor details of the small
town setting (783) that effectively
conceal its dark purpose.
A Choice of Tools
O It uses the same evidence, but the absence
of direct quotation makes it less colourful,
convincing, and emphatic
O Some paraphrase/citation work is necessary
for a long work
O Students should be adept in all three forms
O They should also recognize weak
approaches. . . .
Ungoverned
Quotation!
Weak
implied
Larry seemed to enjoy having his father
link
appear only at long intervals, leaving him to
monopolize his mother's affections. "The war
was the most peaceful period of my life"
("My Oedipus Complex" 1322). His world
changed when his father came home. "Life
without my early morning conferences was
unthinkable" (1325).
Jump: The loss of
the “early
morning
conferences”
Ungoverned Quotations
O The reader is forced to supply connections
between the writer's comments and the
quoted material.
O While encouraging the reader' s active
participation, this abrupt, associative style
quickly becomes annoying.
O It should be used only to emphasize
unusually clear relationships
Embedded quotation/
Paraphrase
The war was "the most peaceful period
of [Larry’s] life" ("My Oedipus Complex"
1322) because his father's absence let
him monopolize his mother's affections.
When his father returned and tried to end
Larry's "early morning conferences" with
her, the boy found the change
"unthinkable" (1325)!
Introducing Quotations
O There is something jarring about “as the
following suggests,” “as this passage
shows”
O Explicit introductions are usually
unnecessary
O The syntactic relationship is often enough
The townspeople make a grotesque discovery after
Emily's death, as this passage shows:
What was left of him, rotted beneath what was left of
the nightshirt, had become inextricable from the bed
in which he lay; and upon him and upon the pillow
beside him lay that even coating of the patient and
biding dust. Then we noticed that in the second
pillow was the indentation of a head. One of us lifted
something from it, and leaning forward, that faint and
invisible dust dry and acrid in the nostrils, we saw a
long strand of iron gray hair. (472-73)
Earlier the graying of Emily's hair is associated with
Homer Barron's disappearance; therefore, the hair on
the pillow indicates that Emily lay with his corpse.
Use What You Choose
O This quotation is too long and is introduced
awkwardly by the phrase "as this passage
shows”
O Shift the emphasis to the interpretation by
using brief extracts
The implications of the final scene are
grotesque: the pillow beside Homer
Barron's rotted body bears the imprint of
a head, and here the townspeople find "a
long strand of iron-gray hair" (473).
Because Emily's hair became gray only
after Homer Barron's disappearance
(471), she must have lain beside his
51 words doing
corpse.
the work of 125
Another Laboured introduction:
HUGE pause created by “this way”
At the end of "Great Falls," Jackie
explains the destruction of his family this
way: "it is just low-life, some coldness in
us all, some helplessness that causes us
to misunderstand life when it is pure and
plain" (636).
At the end of "Great Falls" Jackie explains
that his family was destroyed by "some
coldness in us all, some helplessness that
causes us to misunderstand life when it is
pure and plain" (636).
Wellintegrated
embedded
quotation
Final Notes
O Every reform affects clarity and conciseness
O Reducing waste should provide room for
more substantive content—without wearying
the reader
O A few bugbears or carelessly chosen words
can seriously weaken a paper—but its
positive virtue arises from skilful use of
evidence and carefully observed logic
O Following a rubric can never guarantee
excellence—but it can curtail vices