Transcript Document

College Composition I:
Unit 8 Seminar
Susan W. Trestrail, M.S. Ed.
Instructor
Unit 8 Work
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Reading
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Proofreading
Editing
Unit 8 Work
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Discussion:
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First, in your original posting, copy and paste two sentences from
your existing paper’s draft that you would like to edit using the
Paramedic Method.
Then edit and revise the sentences using this method.
Finally, ask any questions you may have about editing and revision.
Be sure to respond to at least two of your classmates’ postings by
offering two alternate revisions of their sentences. In other words,
create two completely new, edited sentences based on the
sentences your classmates posted from their drafts. These sentences
are not “better” or “worse” than the classmates’ edited and revised
sentences, but they demonstrate that many ways exist to edit and
revise sentences.
Unit 8 Work
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Seminar
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You’re here!
Only one left!
Go you!
Unit 8 Work
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Get caught up!
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No project
No quiz
Use your time wisely
Questions?
Lecture
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Proofreading and editing - completely different things.
Proofreading: Looking for errors in your draft.
Editing: Fixing those errors.
Lecture
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Proofread:
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Read your draft out loud.
Awkward?
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Too many words?
Words in the wrong order?
Missing punctuation?
Re-read.
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Why not post it to the Course Questions area?
Or even just email it to me or anyone else in the class that you're
working with?
Writing Center
Family and friends
Lecture
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It's also good to know what kind of errors you normally
make.
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Not sure how or when to use commas?
Spelling?
Run-on sentences?
Subject-verb agreement?
Pronoun-antecedent agreement?
Once you know your weakness, you can look for it.
Lecture
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One good editing tool: Paramedic Method.
It helps focus on sentences that are wordier than they
need to be.
Have you ever caught yourself writing:
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"Due to the fact that…"
"In this day and age…"
"For all intents and purpose…"
"Who is a…"
Or even just adding in words like "really," "basically," "kind
of"?
Lecture
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Paramedic Revision:
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Unless you’re a grammar freak like me, it’s hard. Sorry!
But it can be very helpful.
(Even if you don’t do it the "right" way.)
Lecture
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First step:
Locate all the “weak"
verbs.
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You may have learned of
them as "helping" verbs or
"being" verbs. They can also
be called "linking" verbs.
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Is
Are
Was
Were
Being
Had
Having
And more!
Lecture
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Second step:
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Find the prepositions
Prepositions give position in time and space, and there is a list
of them available at:
http://www.englishclub.com/grammar/prepositions-list.htm
Some common ones: of, in, during, before, after, over, under,
around, with, between…
Lecture
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Test for prepositions involves finding a word you think is
a preposition and putting it in the following sentence:
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The squirrel ran __________ the tree.
If the word fits in, it’s probably a preposition.
Lecture
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Once you’ve found the being verbs and the prepositions,
you want to try to remove them.
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In the case of the verbs, you will want to try to replace them
with stronger verbs.
In the case of the prepositions, you will want to try to re-work
the sentence in order to remove them.
Lecture
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First example:
"I am a race-car driver.“
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I drive race cars.
I race cars.
Lecture
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Example:"The boy with the blue hair...“
Fixed: "The blue-haired boy."
Lecture
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Example:
They had an argument at the house of their neighbor.
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Weak verb: had
Prepositions: at, of
Fix:
They argued at their neighbor’s house.
Questions?
Practice
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If Julia does not keep her job, it will be due to the fact
that she has not arrived on time every single day.
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Weak verbs: does, will be, has
Prepositions: due to, on
Practice
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If Julia loses her job, it will be due to the fact that she
has not arrived on time every single day.
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My fix:
If Julia loses her job, it's because she's always late.
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One handy piece of advice - don't use negatives. Instead of
"does not keep" - replace it with a positive. I chose "loses.”
Practice
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Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and not
enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.
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Weak verbs: is, has
Prepositions: of, in
Practice
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Jerome is a writer who has plenty of ideas and not
enough time in his daily activity to allow him to write.
My fix:
While Jerome has ideas, he has no time to write.
Practice
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Protecting our children while they research on the
Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and
attention to achieve.
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Weak verbs: is, can
Prepositions: on, of
Practice
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Protecting our children while they research on the
Internet is an activity which can take a lot of time and
attention to achieve.
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My fix:
Successfully protecting children while they do Internet
research can be time-consuming.
Practice
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The person with the purple hair left a car in the parking
lot of the mall.
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Weak verbs: none
Prepositions: with, in, of
Practice
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The person with the purple hair left a car in the parking
lot of the mall.
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My fix:
The purple-haired person parked a car in the mall's lot.
Practice
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We left the keys on the table of the house owned by our
boss.
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Weak verbs: none
Prepositions: on, of, by
Practice
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We left the keys on the table of the house owned by our
boss.
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My fix:
We left the keys on our boss's table.
Questions?
College Composition I:
Unit 8 Seminar
The End