Transcript Clear and Effective Writing: Parallelism and Consistency

Clear and Effective Writing:
Parallelism and Consistency
• Parallelism-when a writer expresses ideas of
equal worth with the same grammatical form
• Contributes to ease in reading by making
ideas that are parallel in meaning parallel in
structure
• I like to swim, dance, and having fun
• I like to swim, dance, and have fun.
Parallelism
• Similar grammatical elements need to be balancednouns with nouns, phrases with phrases, clauses
with clauses
• Words and phrases- She had no time to be
human, no time to be happy.
• Clauses -I remember Iyakitu’s sister, Sun Woman,
who held so many things in her bundle, who went
away to the east.
• Sentences-When I breathed in, I squeaked.
When I breathed out, I rattled
Parallelism
• Parallels need to be clear-repeating a preposition,
an article, or introductory word, phrase, or clause,
can make the structure clear.
• Ex. I was happy in the thought that our influence
was helpful and that I was doing the work I loved.
• Correlative conjunctions(either or, neither nor,
{not only}but also) must be used together to
maintain parallel structure
• The team not only practices at 6am during the
week, but also scrimmages on Sunday afternoons.
Consistency
• Maintaining consistency from the beginning of a
piece of writing to the end in:
• Consistent tense, mood, and person
• Ex. Aro believed in nuclear power while Jane
believed in solar power.
• Ex. She is as beautiful as the most radiant sunrise
over the ocean and as comfortable as the warmth
of a summer evening breeze. NOT-and as
comfortable as my father’s ratty blue sweatshirt.
Consistency
• Consistent person and number
• Ex. If one is going to improve, one should work
harder.
• Ex. One take a huge risk by believing in that guy.
• Consistent tone and style
• Ex. It seemed to Romeo, as he gazed upon the
balcony, that Juliet’s face was as white as a lily. (not
as the underbelly of a fish)
Consistency
• Consistent perspective and viewpoint
• Ex. Standing in the valley, I could see our
troops at the crest of the hill, and later,
standing on the other side of the ridge, I
could see the enemy in full retreat.
• Ex. Walking away she smiled and waved; she
walks away and trips and fell.
Pronoun Reference
• Pronouns refer to the nouns IMMEDIATELY
preceding them
• When a pronoun could refer to two possible
antecedents (the noun which has been replaced), the
reader is confused. Replace one with a noun.
• Ex. Juan told Pedro that he had made a mistake. or
In talking with Peter, Juan admitted he had made a
mistake.
Pronoun Reference
• If a pronoun is too far away from its antecedent,
the reader may have to backtrack to get its
meaning. Rewrite the sentence to bring them closer
together.
• Ex. The glow was enough to read by, even though
it was still dark, my eyes adjusted to it. (The
darkness or the glow?)
• Be SPECIFIC ex. The glow was enough to read
by, once my eyes adjusted to it. (it refers to glow)
• Ex. Still he could not have been more than one
year older than him.
Active v. Passive Voice
ACTIVE VOICE sentences-the subject
performs the action and the
object is the recipient of the
action. Follows the subjectverb-object pattern.
Ex. Jill kicked Jack. or Marsha
lies to others often.
Reasons to use active voice:
• 1. The active voice is shorter
• 2. More direct
• 3. Moves the writing forward
Examples
• A: The waiter dropped the
tray of food.
• P: The tray of food was
dropped by the waiter.
• P: Your request for funding
has been denied by the
committee.
• A: The committee denied your
request for funding.
Passive Voice
• PASSIVE VOICE sentences-the
subject and the object flipflop. The subject becomes
the passive recipient of the
action.
•
Jack was killed by Jill.
•
Others are often lied to
by Marsha.
– Use the passive voice
purposefully
Passive Voice
Reasons to use passive voice:
The doer of the action is
unimportant (The pyramids were
built thousands of years ago.)
The doer is unknown (Several
robberies were committed last
night.)
The writer desires to control the
focus of the sentence (The alarm
was triggered by my son) or (Jack
was kicked by Jill.)
Passive Voice
WAYS TO SPOT PASSIVE
SENTENCES:
A. Passive voice requires
a “double verb” and will
always contain a form of to
be and the past participle
(usu. ending in en/ed/t form)
of another verb.
•
Is kicked------had been
kicked
•
Was kicked-----is going to
Passive Voice
B. Passive voice sentences often contain a “by”
phrase to indicate who or what preformed the
action.
• PASSIVE: The cookies were eaten
by the children.
• ACTIVE: The children ate the
cookies.
• PASSIVE: The tunnels are dug by
the gophers.
• ACTIVE: The gophers dug the tunnels.
Examples
Passive or Active?
1. Children cannot open these
bottles easily.
2. My car is in the garage being
fixed by a lazy mechanic.
3. My son ate all of the homemade
cookies.
4. The statue is being visited by
hundreds of tourists each year.
5. The party will celebrate his
retirement.
6. Coffee is raised in many parts
of Hawaii by plantation workers.