Transcript 1.1 M - The University of Sydney

Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Objectives
Be able to research a scientific topic from primary
sources
Be able to synthesize a coherent and instructive story
based on these findings
Communicate this story in written prose, paying
attention to correct referencing
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Assessment
20% - literature web, Fri 22nd Feb
10% - first paragraph, Fri 1st March
70% - final report, Fri 22nd March
2500 words maximum
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Lecture Schedule
1. Introduction
5. First sentence*
2. The key paper
Literature web
3. Writing a paper
6. First paragraph*
7. Last paragraph*
4. Literature Reviews
* class-led discussion
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Guides to the Chemical Literature
These guides provide further information to the above-mentioned
sources, suggest strategies for chemical research, and suggest ways
of keeping current with the literature:
Bottle. Information Sources in Chemistry Ref Z5521 B67 1979 (LC) KSL
Maizell. How to Find Chemical Information QD8.5 M34 (LC) CHEM and
Ref QD8.5 M34 1979 KSL and Ref QD8.5 M34 ENGN
Mellon. Chemical Publications Z5521 M52 1965 KSL
Wiggins. Chemical Information Sources Ref QD8.5 W54 1991 KSL, ENGN
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Web Resources
NIST Chemistry WebBook:
http://webbook.nist.gov/
The 1997 release is the third edition of the NIST Chemistry WebBook
which contains thermodynamic data for over 5000 organic and small
inorganic compounds and ion-energetics data for over 14,000
compounds. A number of new classes of data have been added
including vapor pressure data for over 5000 compounds, Antoine
coefficient data for over 1200 compounds, heats of reaction for over
1300 compounds, mass spectra for over 8000 compounds, and IR
spectra for over 5000 compounds. There are many avenues for
searching the database. Structures are given for most species, as well
as common and commercial names
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Web Resources
• DGRweb ACS' Directory of Graduate Research
http://dgr.rints.com/
• Conversion factors
http://www.wsdot.wa.gov/Metrics/factors.htm
• WebElements periodic table
http://www.webelements.com/
• Measure 4 Measure (estimate, calculate, translate)
http://www.wolinskyweb.net/measure.htm#science
• ASU Index to Property Data
http://www.asu.edu/lib/noble/chem/property.htm
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Web Resources
• ThermoDex - An Index of Selected Thermodynamic and Physical
Property Resources
http://thermodex.lib.utexas.edu/
• Chmoogle - finds chemical structures by substructure or SMILES
http://www.chmoogle.com/
• Flash animation of The Elements by Tom Lehrer
http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
The Role of a Literature Review
1. Exposes main gaps in knowledge [and] identifies principal areas of
dispute and uncertainty.
2. Helps identify general patterns to findings from multiple examples of
research in the same area.
3. Juxtaposing studies with apparently conflicting findings helps explore
explanations for discrepancies.
4. Helps define your terminology or identify variations in definitions
used by researchers or practitioners.
5. Helps to identify appropriate research methodologies.
6. You can also identify validated scales and instruments.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
From Usyd Library
WHAT IS A LITERATURE REVIEW
A literature review is a critical evaluation of literature published on a
particular topic. Literature reviews are different to other types of
writing you may have done at University.
LITERATURE REVIEWS VERSUS ESSAYS
While literature reviews and essays require many of the same skills – for
instance, critical thinking skills, academic writing skills and
referencing skills – they have different purposes. Whereas essays
require you to support your own arguments, literature reviews
require you to critique the arguments of others.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
From Usyd Library
LITERATURE REVIEWS VERSUS ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHIES
While literature reviews and annotated bibliographies both require you
to summarise sources, literature reviews involve much more than
this. Annotated bibliographies are primarily descriptive, whereas
literature reviews are primarily analytical.
Literature reviews and annotated bibliographies are also structured
differently. Annotated bibliographies are presented in an alphabetical
list format, and each reference is treated separately. In contrast,
literature reviews synthesise the ideas contained in each reference,
and are structured around a central concept divided by subheadings.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
From Usyd Library
WHAT ARE THE PURPOSES OF A LITERATURE REVIEW?
Literature reviews serve many purposes. They:
• Provide useful background information to your topic, which enables
readers to better understand your topic.
• Demonstrate your knowledge of the subject area.
• Make clear your perspectives on the topic
• Justify your choice of research design. For instance, your choice of
qualitative over quantitative approaches, or your method of data
analysis.
• Explain how your work will fill in a gap in the scholarly literature.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
From Usyd Library
WHAT ARE THE KEY FEATURES OF A LITERATURE REVIEW?
Literature reviews require you to critically evaluate the literature. To
‘critically evaluate’ a source is to scrutinise it to determine its
strengths and weaknesses. The following REVIEW criteria will assist
you in critically evaluating sources:
R is for Relevance
Does the reference completely cover your topic, or only one aspect of it? Have you read
widely to determine how relevant it is in relation to other sources?
E is for Expertise of author
What is the educational background of the author? What are their qualifications? Are they
writing in their area of expertise? Are they regularly cited by other authors in the field?
V is for Viewpoint of author/organisation
Does the author have any personal or professional affiliations that may bias their work? Has
the research been sponsored by an organisation with a vested interest in the topic?
What is the purpose of the source – to inform, persuade or entertain?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
From Usyd Library
WHAT ARE THE KEY FEATURES OF A LITERATURE REVIEW?
Literature reviews require you to critically evaluate the literature. To
‘critically evaluate’ a source is to scrutinise it to determine its
strengths and weaknesses. The following REVIEW criteria will assist
you in critically evaluating sources:
I is for Intended audience
Is the reference aimed at the general public or a scholarly audience? Is it intended for
professionals in the field or a community of researchers? Is it intended for a large or
small readership?
E is for Evidence
Are opinions supported by scholarly evidence? Is a particular referencing style used
properly and consistently? Has the reference been subjected to peer review?
W is for When published
Was the reference published recently? Have significant developments been made in the
subject area since the reference was published?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence/Paragraph
Perspectives Instructions:
• You should begin with an introductory paragraph that captures the
reader's interest and immediately gets to the point.
• If you are discussing a specific scientific paper, be sure to refer to the
paper somewhere in the first paragraph.
• Your introduction should be general enough to orient the reader not
familiar with the specifics of your field.
• Here, and throughout the text, you should avoid jargon and the
special terms of your field.
• If the language of specialists is necessary, please briefly define it for
the general reader.
• Please keep the use of acronyms to a minimum.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence/Paragraph
PERSPECTIVE
GEOPHYSICS
Caught Offside
Tim Elliott
Eighty percent of global volcanism occurs out of sight, at submarine
volcanoes along the 56,000 km of mid-ocean spreading centers that
straddle Earth. This volcanic activity is confined to very narrow (~1
km) zones between two separating tectonic plates. This
concentration of volcanic activity is particularly remarkable when the
volume of the rock producing the magmatism is considered: a
triangular melting region, with a base at least 60 km deep, extends 60
km on either side of the ridge axis (see the first figure).
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence/Paragraph
PERSPECTIVE
GEOPHYSICS
Caught Offside
Tim Elliott
Eighty percent of global volcanism occurs out of sight, at submarine
volcanoes along the 56,000 km of mid-ocean spreading centers that
straddle Earth.
You should begin with an introductory paragraph that captures the
reader's interest and immediately gets to the point.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
What makes a good first sentence?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
What makes a good first sentence?
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SHORT
Single idea
Not too technical
Words with a deeper underlying
meaning (tantalising?)
Familiar terms or ideas used in an
unexpected way
Posing a question
Strong verbs
Active
Present/Future tense
“Epic”
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Title, can tie in with first sentence
Gets to the point quickly/relevant
Inherently interesting subject
Telling you something new and
surprising
Sex!
Uses an apparent contradiction to
engage the reader
Uses imagery/analogy to make the
science more accessible
Clarity
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
What makes a bad first sentence?
•The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is an annual contest sponsored by
the English Department of San Jose State University.
• Entrants are invited "to compose the opening sentence to the worst of
all possible novels" – that is, deliberately bad.
•It is named for English novelist and playwright Edward George BulwerLytton, author of the much-quoted first line "It was a dark and stormy
night”:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when
it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that
our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the
lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Paul Clifford 1830
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when
it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that
our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the
lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Why is this sentence so bad?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when
it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that
our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the
lamps that struggled against the darkness.
Why is this sentence so bad?
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LONG (B-L Prize guidelines
recommend 50-60 words)
very detailed and descriptive to an
unnecessary point (ie florid)
Convoluted, too many clauses, ideas
(ie commas, pauses, parentheses)
Contradictions
Clichés
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Subject and object too far away
Too many qualifiers (adjectives)
Redundancies
Irrelevant information
Parentheses don’t work
Too many prepositions
Ostentatious erudition (“Epic”?)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
“Lyttle Litton prize (limited to 25 words)
The red hot sun rose in the cold blue sky.
Judy Dean (2011 winner)
Why is this sentence so bad?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
“Lyttle Litton prize (limited to 25 words)
The red hot sun rose in the cold blue sky.
Judy Dean (2011 winner)
Why is this sentence so bad?
“First, you've got the eyeroll that comes from the ham-handed contrast between "red hot"
and "cold blue" — and then a second later you realize that "red hot" actually means a
temperature of about 1000 kelvin, and is therefore hilariously inadequate as a descriptor of
the sun, a gigantic nuclear furnace with a core temperature of roughly ten million kelvin.
Intentionally writing a sentence that seems unintentionally bad is hard; writing one that
suggests an author going for hyperbole and accidentally winding up with woeful
understatement is masterful. Thus, we have our winner.”
http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Paragraph
From article on the website:
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of
phase the NH2 terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene
has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+ ATPase
subunit 8 gene. The functional significance of the other URF's has been, on the contrary,
elusive. Recently, however, immunoprecipitation experiments with antibodies to purified,
rotenone-sensitive NADH ubiquinone oxido-reductase [hereafter referred to as respiratory
chain NADH dehydrogenase or complex I] from bovine heart, as well as enzyme
fractionation studies, have indicated that six human URF's (that is, URF1, URF2, URF3,
URF4, URF4L, and URF5, hereafter referred to as ND1, ND2, ND3, ND4, ND4L, and ND5)
encode subunits of complex I. This is a large complex that also contains many subunits
synthesized in the cytoplasm.
Why is this hard to read?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Paragraph
Technical vocabulary; it requires specialized background knowledge.
Remove the technical words:
The smallest of the URF's, an [A], has been identified as a [B] subunit 8 gene. The functional
significance of the other URFs has been, on the contrary, elusive. Recently, however, [C]
experiments, as well as [D] studies, have indicated that six human URF's [1-6] encode
subunits of Complex I. This is a large complex that also contains many subunits synthesized
in the cytoplasm.
The passage is still difficult! Why?
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Paragraph
What has the first sentence of the passage to do with the last sentence?
Does the third sentence contradict what we have been told in the second?
Is the functional significance of URF's still "elusive"?
Will this passage lead us to further discussion about URF's, or about Complex I, or both?
The intended audience of this passage would probably possess at least two items of
essential technical information:
•"URF" stands for "Uninterrupted Reading Frame," which describes a segment of DNA organized in such a way that
it could encode a pr tein, although no such protein product has yet been identified;
•both ATPase and NADH oxido-reductase are enzyme complexes central to energy metabolism.
Although this information may provide some sense of comfort, it does little to answer the
interpretive questions that need answering. It seems the reader is hindered by more than
just the scientific jargon.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L), a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of
phase the NH2 terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene
has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+ ATPase
subunit 8 gene.
Subject-Verb Separation
It is relatively long, 42 words; but that turns out not to be the main cause of its burdensome
complexity. Long sentences need not be difficult to read; they are only difficult to write!
•Sentence structure needs to present information to readers in the order the readers need
and expect it.
This first sentence does the opposite: it burdens and obstructs the reader, because of an
all-too-common structural defect. Note that the grammatical subject ("the smallest") is
separated from its verb ("has been identified") by 23 words, more than half the sentence!
Readers expect a grammatical subject to be followed immediately by the verb.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
First Sentence
Revisions:
The smallest of the URF's is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of
phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene; it
has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+ ATPase
subunit 8 gene.
The smallest of the URF's (URFA6L) has been identified as the animal equivalent of the
recently discovered yeast H+-ATPase subunit 8 gene.
The smallest of the URF's is URFA6L, a 207-nucleotide (nt) reading frame overlapping out of
phase the NH2-terminal portion of the adenosinetriphosphatase (ATPase) subunit 6 gene; it
has been identified as the animal equivalent of the recently discovered yeast H+ ATPase
subunit 8 gene.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Structural Principles
1. Follow a grammatical subject as soon as possible with its verb.
2. Place in the stress position the "new information" you want the reader to
emphasize.
3. Place the person or thing whose "story" a sentence is telling at the beginning
of the sentence, in the topic position.
4. Place appropriate "old information" (material already stated in the discourse)
in the topic position for linkage backward and contextualization forward.
5. Articulate the action of every clause or sentence in its verb.
6. In general, provide context for your reader before asking that reader to
consider anything new.
7. In general, try to ensure that the relative emphases of the substance coincide
with the relative expectations for emphasis raised by the structure.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Your First Paragraph:
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•
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You should begin with an introductory paragraph that captures the reader's
interest and immediately gets to the point.
If you are discussing a specific scientific paper, be sure to refer to the paper
somewhere in the first paragraph.
Your introduction should be general enough to orient the reader not familiar
with the specifics of your field.
Here, and throughout the text, you should avoid jargon and the special terms
of your field.
If the language of specialists is necessary, please briefly define it for the
general reader.
Please keep the use of acronyms to a minimum.
Provide a link to the second paragraph.
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Goal in academic writing is not to sound intelligent, but to get your intelligent point across
•Don’t be too “wordy” ie using more words than you absolutely need to say something,
especially words that don't actually have anything to add to the meaning of our sentences.
Wordiness often derives from uncertainty about your topic, lack of a developed argument,
or lack of evidence. If you're not sure what you want or have to say, you may have trouble
saying it.
•Don’t do the reverse and make the style too chatty/informal in the wrong context.
Example:
Especially when we talk, we use a lot of little "filler" words that don't actually have
anything to add to the meaning of our sentences.
How many words can you remove from this sentence without altering its meaning?
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Clichés
Example: France bit off more than it could chew in Vietnam, and America's intervention was
too little, too late.
How to correct it: Clichés stand in for more precise descriptions of something. Slow down
and write exactly, precisely what you mean. If you get stuck, ask yourself "why? or
"how?”
Better example: As the French faltered in Vietnam, even American intervention could not
save the collapsing regime.
Qualifiers (very, often, hopefully, practically, basically, really, mostly)
Example: Most people usually think that many puppies are generally pretty cute.
How to correct it: Eliminate some of these qualifiers and you will have a stronger, more
direct point. Some qualifiers are necessary, but you should use them very carefully and
thoughtfully.
Better example: Most people think that puppies are cute.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Redundancy (Using two words that mean the same thing)
Example: Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes and dreams when she saved the whole entire
planet.
How to correct it: Choose the most precise term and delete the extra one.
Better example: Adrienne fulfilled all our hopes when she saved the planet.
Some "wordy" constructions take a little more practice locating and correcting
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Overuse of prepositional phrases (words such as in, over, of, for, at, etc.)
Example: The reason for the failure of the economic system of the island was the inability of
Gilligan in finding adequate resources without incurring expenses at the hands of the
headhunters on the other side of the island.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate this problem by circling all of the
prepositional phrases in your paper. A few are okay, but several in a sentence (as
demonstrated here) make the reader struggle to find and follow your subject and
point. Correct this problem by reading the sentence, looking away from it, and writing
or saying out loud what you meant when you wrote the sentence. Try asking yourself
"Who did what to whom?" Replace the first sentence with your new sentence.
Better example: Gilligan hurt the economic system of the island because he couldn't find
adequate resources without angering the headhunters.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Stock phrases you can replace with one or two words.
Examples: The fact that I did not like the aliens affected our working relationship. The
aliens must be addressed in a professional manner.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate this problem as you do clichés. Is this just
something people say? What do the words actually mean? Correct this problem by
looking for a single word that expresses your meaning.
Better examples: My dislike of the aliens affected our working relationship. The aliens
must be addressed professionally.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Common stock phrases to replace with one or two words.
The reason for
For the reason that
Due to the fact that
Owing to the face that
In light of the fact that
Considering the fact that
On the grounds that
because, since, why
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
In the event that
If it should happen that
Under circumstances in which
On the occasion of
In a situation in which
Under circumstances in which
As regards about
In reference to
With regard to
Concerning the matter of
Where ___ is concerned
if
when
about
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
It is crucial that
It is necessary that
There is a need/necessity for
It is important that
Is able to
Is in a position to
Has the opportunity to
Has the capacity for
Has the ability to
It is possible that
There is a chance that
It could happen that
The possibility exists for
must, should
can
may, might, can, could
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
Prior to
In anticipation of
Subsequent to
Following on
At the same time as
Simultaneously with
It is possible that
There is a chance that
It could happen that
The possibility exists for
before, when, as, after
may, might, can, could
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Writing Style
In the same spirit:
Not different
Not many
Not have
Not include
Not consider
Not the same
Not often
Not allow
Not admit
Not accept
similar
few
lack
omit
ignore
different
rarely
prevent
deny
reject
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Verbs
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Nouns (person, place, thing, or concept) and verbs (words that describe an
action or state of being) are the hearts and souls of all sentences. They
become the essential elements—the "subject" and the "predicate" or the
"actor" and "action" of every sentence.
The reader should be able to clearly locate the main subject and verb of your
sentences and, ideally, the subject and verb should be close together in the
sentence.
Some style "crimes" are varied symptoms of one problem: the subjects and
verbs or the actor and action of your sentence are hiding from the reader.
The reader has trouble following who is doing what to whom.
Using a "passive voice" or "weak verbs”, although grammatically correct, can
make the reader work too hard to decipher your meaning. Use passive voice
and weak verbs strategically once you get the hang of them. If you're still
struggling to figure out what they are, aim for "active voice" and "strong
verbs”.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Verbs
Problem: Passive voice. When you hide the actor by putting it somewhere after the action
(not in the usual subject part of the sentence) and add a "to be" verb, you are using
passive voice. For more detailed coverage, see our handout on the passive voice.
Examples: Here's a passive sentence with the actor at the end of the sentence:
The alien remains were lost by the government.
Some passive sentences omit actor entirely:
The alien remains were lost.
The car was wrecked.
Better (active) examples:
The government lost the alien remains.
I wrecked the car.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Verbs
Problem: Passive voice. When you hide the actor by putting it somewhere after the action
(not in the usual subject part of the sentence) and add a "to be" verb, you are using
passive voice.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate passive voice by circling every "to be" verb
(am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being ). Not all of these verbs will indicate a passive
construction or one you want to change, but if the "to be" verb is sitting next to
another verb, especially one that ends in "ed," ("was lost", "was wrecked") then you
may be using passive voice. If you have trouble finding "to be" verbs, try finding the
subject, verb, and object in each sentence. Can the reader tell who or what is doing the
action in your sentence? Correct passive constructions by putting that actor back in the
subject of the sentence and getting rid of the "to be" verb. Note that you may have to
add information in the sentence; you have to specify who in your sentence and thereby
keep the reader from guessing.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Verbs
Problem: Nominalization—making verbs and adjectives into nouns. Again, sometimes you
want to use nominalization and may do so purposefully. But too much nominalization
can sound abstract and make the reader work to decipher your meaning. (Professional
academic writing often has a lot of (too much?) nominalization—that's one reason why
you may struggle with it!)
Examples: The discovery of the aliens was made by the government.
The car wreck was a result of a lack of visual focus.
How to locate and correct the problem: Locate nominalization in your papers by circling all
of the nouns. Do you have several in a single sentence? You might be hiding the action
(the verb) of your sentence inside of a noun. Correct nominalization by returning the
abstract noun to its function as verb or adjective. This will take practice—focus on
making the sentence simpler in structure (actor and action).
Better Examples: The government discovered the aliens.
My sister wrecked the car when she forgot to wear her glasses.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Verbs
Problem: Nominalization – also, look for sentences that begin with the following phrases:
there is, there are, this is, that is, it is. Sometimes you need these phrases to refer to an
immediately preceding sentence without repeating yourself, but they may be hiding
nominalizations.
Example: There is a need for further study of aliens.
How to locate and correct this problem: Circle these phrases and try omitting them from
the sentence. Who is doing what to whom?
Better example: We need to study aliens further.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Verbs
Problem: Weak verbs. If you have located and corrected passive voice and nominalization
problems but your sentences still seem to lack meaning or directness, look for "weak"
verbs. Verbs such as "to be" verbs and "have" verbs can often be replaced by "strong"
verbs, ie verbs that carry specific meaning. Concentrate on what the subject of your
sentence does and make that the verb in the sentence.
Example: The aliens have a positive effect on our ecosystem.
How to locate and correct this problem: Locate weak verbs by circling all of the "to be" and
"have" verbs. Correct weak verbs by omitting them and replacing them with a more
meaningful verb. Notice that you will need to add information as you specify the nature
of the action. Answer the question: "What does the subject really do?"
Better example: The aliens improve our ecosystem.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Ostentatious Erudition
You may think you sound more “learned” by using multi-syllabic words. Don't
ever do so without looking up those words to make sure you know exactly what
they mean. And don't blindly accept the recommendations of your word
processing program's thesaurus! An inappropriate synonym will make you sound
like you don't know what you are talking about or, worse, give the impression
that you are plagiarizing from a source you don't understand. Never use a word
you can't clearly define. It's okay to use big words if you know them well and
they fit your overall tone—just make sure your tone is consistent. In other words,
don't say "That miscreant has a superlative aesthetic sense, but he's dopey.”
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Ostentatious Erudition
You may use overly "erudite" words to avoid repeating the same word. In fact,
it's often okay to repeat the same word(s), particularly when they are significant
or central terms. For example, if your paper discusses the significance of memory
represented by the scent of wisteria in William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom, you
are going to write the words "memory" and "wisteria" a lot. Don't start saying
"recollection," "reminiscence,” and "climbing woody vine" just for variation. A
thesaurus might even lead you to say: The significance of nostalgia is represented
by the odiferous output of parasitic flowering vegetation. Such sentences may
cloud rather than clarify your point.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Another Bad Beginning?
Example: Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted
archway of the museum's Grand Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting he
could see, a Caravaggio. Grabbing the gilded frame, the seventy-six-year-old man
heaved the masterpiece toward himself until it tore from the wall and Saunière
collapsed backward in a heap beneath the canvas.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Another Bad Beginning?
Example: Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted
archway of the museum's Grand Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting he
could see, a Caravaggio. Grabbing the gilded frame, the seventy-six-year-old man
heaved the masterpiece toward himself until it tore from the wall and Saunière
collapsed backward in a heap beneath the canvas.
Better?: Jacques Saunière staggered through the archway of the Louvre's Grand
Gallery. He lunged for the nearest painting, a Caravaggio. Grabbing its gilded
frame, the seventy-six-year-old curator heaved the painting towards him until it
tore away from the wall and he collapsed backward beneath it.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)
Honours Coursework 2013
2011
SCIENTIFIC LITERATURE
Another Bad Beginning?
More?:
…A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move."
On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly.
Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his
attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin
and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.
A voice doesn't speak —a person speaks; a voice is what a person speaks with.
"Chillingly close" would be right in your ear, whereas this voice is 15 feet away.
The curator (do we really need to be told his profession again?) cannot slowly
turn his head if he has frozen; freezing (as a voluntary human action) means
temporarily ceasing all muscular movements.
A silhouette does not stare! A silhouette is a shadow. If Saunière can see the
man's pale skin, thinning hair, iris color, and red pupils (all at 15 feet), the man
cannot possibly be in silhouette.
(http://writingcenter.unc.edu/resources/handouts-demos/citation/style)